50th post this year.

"No email is good news"... For now. I guess this feel is mutual to all of us conflicts students (serves us right for choosing this amazingly interesting yet complicated module).

Sometimes the truth is stranger than (instagrammable) fiction/ smiley faces have never looked so sorrowful nor sinister.

In any case, food for thought for the loyal few who drop by this rather uninspiring place: http://howtoraymond.wordpress.com/2014/11/06/yes-i-saw-your-message-no-i-didnt-reply-and-i-think-thats-okay-because-the-world-didnt-end-or-anything/ (in unrelated food news, food for thought now offers student discounts during this exam period)

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24 x 7 x 60 = 10,080 mins of suspense and suffering

and counting.

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Of tales, hearsay, spooks and anxiety less than a month to go:

Cutter: Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"."

The lack of prestiges is probably the most damning indictment of my inability til date. Or rather, a sign of the tendency for friendly ships to become wrecked on the rocks.

On an unrelated note, finally caught The Prestige as part of the class chillout last week on the eve of Halloween. Top, top Nolan movie which I'd wanted to watch since '06. [Fun fact: the old class msea guild, ThePrestige, is named after it]

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Just another page in someone else's history.

Alright, maybe a textbox.

Or simply just a humble footnote.

The worst is when no credit or reference is given at all.



(SIdenote: so this is how being plagiarised feels like hmm)

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Well... so just now I had one of those i-thought-i-had-let-it-go moments.

Next thing I knew I had what you'll call an i-think-i'm-better-than-that epiphany/ realization/ delusion.

As seamlessly as one song changing to the next in the playlist.

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Recently, I've been trying to convince, or rather, persuade myself that just like how green sprouts always emerge after winter with the advent of springtime, there is always light at the end of the tunnel; a remedy to a cause of action; the closing submissions at the culmination of a trial; a reply after days of virtual silence.

One late night a few days ago, as we left the campus after yet another day of what has become an unwelcome routine of mugging, a friend asked me, after a deep, truthful conversation about related things, "you miss her is it?"

Yes, I do - if for nothing more but the company; a time when we both know (i think) that we can just be ourselves and just chill/htht over a simple meal; a welcome break amidst all the shit that school saddles you with. The antonym to out of sight, out of mind.

**

Each of us carry some baggage from the past - be it not very nice reputations, regrets or just plain silly/retarded things that on hindsight we should not have done. The chance to start afresh and prove yourself to others is valuable. Impressions are not cast in stone, just like how stereotypes and generalisations are not representative of the whole. There is always a context hiding somewhere, submerged under varying layers of abstract. It may not be clear at first instance, but every layer, when understood properly, leads you to the next until, voila, the true context sees the light of day.

To this, Sun's words, in the context of counselling and discipleship, are apposite.

"I always believe that we can never love at the expense of truth. The Bible says that God is love, but He is also the God of truth. If you really love a person, you have to tell him or her the truth�that�s why the Bible says, �Faithful are the wounds of a friend.� But yet, like what John 1:14 says, Jesus is full of grace and truth�I do believe that when we speak the truth, we must be gracious and tactful. Some people then say, �But I am not a naturally sensitive or tactful person, how do I do that?�

I would suggest, why don�t you put yourself in the other person�s shoes? If you can picture yourself in that person�s shoes, you will think about how you want someone to break the truth to you. You�ll think, �How would I want those words to be said to me?� If you can think like that, then it will come out all right. Also, I try to use �we� instead of �you�, because most of us have experienced, or are still experiencing, the same problems as well; I will remember that I was once in their shoes.

I believe that once our mindset or our mentality is right, the Holy Spirit will then give us the wisdom to speak the truth in love."

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I could have and should have done more.

I juxtaposed the email with a portion from the msn archives and I just totally flipped on myself.

It's time to pick myself up and face up to what life has to offer throw at us in 2014.

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I talked to a few Year 4s recently - the general impression I got was that... Many things have changed/they have experienced much since I first knew them at the start of my own journey into the unknown frontier which was law school.

The days spent in float back in '12 still fresh in my memory. Wow, look how far all of us have come. Our then young-ish seniors are now on the cusp of entering the workforce, for better or worse (tried to insert a glut pun somewhere but failed; uncertain times lie ahead though). Some of our friends are #dress[ing]upforjessups while I'm like not as zai as them so just bumming around trying hard not to foam (in conflicts class, definitely)

***

I'm definitely not someone who can race off the blocks immediately when put into a totally alien environment: too much context; and also inter-meshing layers of increasing complicity behind everything seemingly superficial.

***

On another note, I could scarcely believe it myself last Sat that ten years on, I would still be playing in a band - albeit this is like an upgrade (some [classical purists] will of course, scoff and beg to differ). It has been a privilege and honour to be able to share the stage with so many talented friends, seniors and juniors (I'm actually the oldest in my combo band...) over the past decade. Granted, some friendships did not really end nicely; many did not take off, but I'm thankful for the ones that did (hi jos!).

Hwach section meeting up soon: now that will be fun hahaha. Hope I won't be too awkz with sometwo and her some-siblings, but I guess time is good in these instances. :)

***

Finally relinquished my post to the same person for the second time in two years. i'm sure you'll do a good job as the FD. In many aspects the past year in the post really reminded me of COPA days: the networking, banter, sweat, sacrifices. All worth it in the end - esp when after three years you start to see the regulars and your peers move on to happier things in life.

***

Thanks renaye for leaving a comment (below post): No worries, sure will! (Is the nutang community still alive I wonder) :/

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