there is only one thing in this world that i truly want... love.
its really quite hard to fathom anything eals that would be worth nearly as much to me.
money, cars, houses, these things are of no comparison to love.
it means the world to me. and i would give anything for it.
i know its hard to find. but its out there.
i just hope it don't take me my hole life to find it.
i know there are people out there that can love me.
how ever there is always something that stands in the way of that.
always something that holes me from it.
i see all my friends. they all have it. and i'm happy for them. i think its awesome that they have found it. i think its great that they have theirs.
but now, now i find mine. i hope that some one out there can see all the good in me to love me. i hope that some one out there can see the man that i am. i hope that some one can see all the things i have to offer. i just hope that there is some one out there for me.

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its great when ever you bake up with people. they always make them self's like the bad one in the relationship. but when you ask them what happen they always give you a list of stuff you did wrong. yet they where the one that fucked it all up right. why cant people just take responsibility fro the things they have done? why cant people just understand there own faults. take blame for when they have messed up. you know you fucked shit up. why cant you just admit it? is it really that hard? to take responsibility for ones actions? they are yours right? you did them yes? or are you to much to be able to mess up anymore. achieved perfection is what you have done. you know, i don't have time for people that are just going to fuck around when i'm trying to be an adult. these games grow old. as i have played them be for... i no longer want to play with you. your tactics are easily read, and you, your predictable. i grow tired of you. your no longer fun. so good bye little thing.

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this face you see it painted.
this face you beleave is fake.
i wake a diffrient persion.
but when i go out i am just a mask.

its a shame that i cant be truthful to the one i care for.
i cant tell her that i love her. thow i wish i could so bad. if given the chance. i would make her world spin. i would do anything and everything to make her love me. i would give her everything. i would show her everything. but why cant i just make it to where i could tell her everything. i can tell everyone. but her. i would love to tell her. i would love to hold her. i would love just to have her in my arms, my mind, my heart. i want her for my self. i want her to show her who and what i am... but for now i have to show her this mask. i cant tell her. i cant show her. i cant be my self for her. i want her more then anything in this world. and i know we could make each other happy. over all the shit in this world i know we can make each others world. we would be our worlds. we would be beautiful. absolutly wonderful. i know we would love each other. we both expect the same thing from each other. we view life the same way. view love the same way. and we beleave the same thing. i just wish there was a way we could be together. just once, and i know i would show her real, true love. its just i dont know how to tell her. and i dont know how to get my point acrossed... i dont know. i guess time will only tell. after a little im sure i will have the chance to show her how i feel. i will tell her, some how, some way.

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in this world you find so meny unexpected thing, people, & places. in my live i didnt think i would find some one that compleated me so. its as if a dream that has come true. a persion quite littorly out of the blue. i dont know where you came from or where your going, but i wish to be apart of it still. your absolutly amazing, its suprizing. but in the sercomstance, i cant beleave your true. there to be, where did you come from? my dreams? your exsactly the persion i have been looking for. its a suprize to know that you exsist. a loveing and careing persion there befor my eyes. you can so easly read my mind, and me, yours. so meny questions race in my head. like, why are you here? how are you here? for what reasion have you come to me like you have? its a shock, a scare. though i am glad you there. befor me you stand, and so meny things i wish to do to you. but know this. you're absalutly amazing, never leave, never cry. in your arms you will stay, tell the day i die.

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withen all of our wishes throughout life, you never realy look back to what you miss from the past. its a shock to see how much you would have liked to have that toy a little longer, or that RC car, you never look back apon the past unless somthing bad had happend to you. theres always somthing that haunts you for a large protion of your life. some longer then others. but what if the one thing that haunted you was that "thing" that you wish you still had? it becomes so very difficalt to forget somthing so tragic in your life. but its even more impossible to fogive that object that betrade you, wether it be a dog or a trutle or even a sibling or loved one. some thing that you cared about had not even given you the opportunity to express your self to it, or ignored you all to gether. how would one get over such things? is it honistly that difficalt to find that one thing in this world that would actily love you for you, or is all just a farce? can we not just live a happy life? or dose everyday have to be torturous, no matter how hard we try. i will admet, i have spent my hole life trying to please others, and i have expected nothing in return. but yet i see all thease people giving nothing to others and thay get all thay have ever wanted. is that what life is realy about, taking all you can and giving nothing in return? is that what this world is like? is that what we sould do. cause if so i would rather rot in hell then to live in this inmorral world, if there is one persion, one thing in this would that can actily see compleatly through the diseption this world has casted into sociaty, then please, find me. i would love to meet you. one true good soul that would beleave, and love one for who and what thay are, and would not change them to there liking. some one that would be there and suport them selfs and others through there tough times. and would fight for the things thay beleave in and there loved ones. is that so much to ask in this world? i know its all a test. but for goodness sake, isnt everyone intitled to love another? shouldn't we all be loved by another? then tell me where is all the love gone? just another day in the world, just another day to search for one to love. in the end. we all find that one, that will die with us.

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hello all, its been awail i know... but i have not forgoten about nutang... some of my best work is on nutang. but anyway, i have not talked to my nutang buddys in forever. how has all been?
i have been good, not to much going on in my life at the momment... i moved to iowa. and im living with a friend, still lonly, and single... but thats not a suprize to anyone now is it. but what ever. i dont realy need to be with a girl to be happy i suppose. looking for a job. but everything is so cheap out here its insane. i wish things where this cheap in vegas. but what ever. but other then that nothing new on this end. and unforchinetly no new poetry this time... :\ i know im lame but im sure you'll live. anyway if i come up with somthing i will post it for all to read. anyway have fun all... peace.

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