I'm done with high school! WOOT! I just need a job and not make too much money cause then the government will say that I can pay more for my college expenses. My ass! But I took all the subsidized loans offered to me for this school year. That reminds me that I need to get a meal plan. I don't know how to do that on access plus x_x

Is anybody hiring? I have social issues so I'd rather not work with people. That's why it's a big no to retailing, where most teenagers are hired.

I need a bank account before my grandma "borrows" all my graduation money away. I got a mini fridge :D even though my friend said he could have given me one but I don't talk to him much.

My step brothers are weird. My friend said they're the typical guys in one of those government stuff, the navy, army, marines, etc. Cocky, big headed. Yeah. He kept coming up to me saying, "Hey, I'm your big brother now. If anybody gives you trouble just tell them your big brother is in the marines." Yeah, will they pee in their pants? What can you do from all the way in Cali? Call and bitch them out? Heh.

I need a job.

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A guy said i was full of myself. i asked a question about HIM. i didn't say anything about myself. I just asked what he was going to do with raw spaghetti. I can't even spell the damn word. In a jokingly way, i asked are you going to eat it for lunch, obviously not. -_-" full of myself, I think i'm turning depressed if I'm not already. I find myself asking what i'm waiting for a lot. nothing ever comes. i'm waiting for nothing.

Well school is almost done. Just two more finals. After next week, I'll be completely with grade school. Screw high school reunions.

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I'm writing this out of annoyance.

You probably won't even understand this. Heck, my parents probably won't even understand it and how long have they been in America? A lot damn longer than you. Let's just go with a "what if" scenerio. So if you were an American citizen, you'd have certain rights entitled to you. Do you know what the limit is? It's when you start to touch upon others rights. Yeah, that means when you have your damn music up that loud, I don't want to be listening to the bass and vibrations of it. TURN IT DOWN! Am I listening to BoA that loud? Does my dad turn up his karaoke that loud? How OFTEN does he do that? And feed your dog some damn chocolate. There's a reason why I don't have a dog. No, it's not because I ate it.

And it's not just them. The other neighbors listen to music too damn loud too.
Want me to bust out my Nell at full blast?

Does the evil glare. I have no life.

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Eh. I'm crazy. I'm also sad, lonely, worried, stressed, nervous, excited.

I usually don't talk on phones but I did for almost 2 hours. I wanna "threaten" David so he'll pay more attention to me but then there's also the fact that he doesn't really care. Maybe I should just stick to learning how to play a quitar here in Iowa.

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It's not even the time of the month. Maybe I'm mad that I haven't really talked to David lately. Gr. Also because I wanted to accept my financial aid from my college today. I press adjust amounts. I put zero in the wronf thing. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT. Then grandma comes bother me about the invitations for the gradation party. DOES IT LOOK LIKE I UNDERSTAND YOU?! Damn it. Learn English. It IS America. And she already bothered me about them today. AND my dad says i have to go with him to relatives' houses and ask them to help with the party because I guess it's going to be huge. I'm not popular. Maybe FIVE friends will go. The rest will be just family and family friends. Pathetic. Err. I also found out while going through my piles of mail from colleges that I had a letter sent about freshmen orientation a month ago. Damn it. The dates I want will be taken. Then Emma can't go with me. If I pick some other days, maybe I can drag David with me. That'd be hot. I need new music. I keep listening to Clazziquai. It's driving me mad. So my dad dragging me to people's house gets rid of the thought that if I was to go out, I wouldn't be able to. Makes me mad. That was just a double negative but bleh. Bleh bleh bleh. I'm pissed from some reason.

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I'm musically inclined. Is that word used right? Hahah, I can't keep beat to save my life. Singing, my voice is awful.

Sunday night David offered to loan me a guitar of his, I must be special! He considers one of his guitar his girlfriend x_x I said no at the time but now that I think of it, maybe I should learn how to play.

I'll know how to play a guitar and serenade a boy when the time comes and gain some self-confidence perhaps! Dopeness. And hopefully David will give me private lessons ^^

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