call me a safe bet. i'm betting i'm not.

trudge through this time and i wonder who i'll be when i come out on the other side of summer?

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today went shopping in PA, then went to the portland diner...
dad came home from his writing trip thing, he had a great time, i told him he would. and to think he was gonna chicken out of going....
so we might go to see another movie again, this time with my dad.

i got a doors shirt today, sex pistols, and rancid. yay.




somethings missing....:sigh:

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well i got to go buy some strawberries and got to say hi to dan because he was outside the store having a cigarette on his break. later i'll probably go out, i don't know. depends on what i feel like doing.

and there i was thinking one of my previously made plans would happen...silly me

EDIT: goin to the movies at 10.

why?

because i can.

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i really want today to happen and i want it to happen in the way i want it to...

:sigh:

but it isnt. i want all the shit to stop. i wish i had the power to slow time down so i could just have a couple hours out of it to just lay there and not be worried about anything or be able to cry as much as i have to without being told to shut up.

i wish i was a better friend and i wish i was a better person.

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[+.i'm cut down by the light in you,
and for all we talk and for all i love you,
i have to say i dont understand you,
i feel you, i cry you, hear you, die for you,
but sometimes you should know that,
i really feel like i'm nothing at all,
sometimes i feel so far from your heart.+]

meaning to say i am so confused....
something is different but although i have ideas on it, i cant put my finger on the exact cause... im afraid of the answer i seek...... but there is a difference... or maybe now i'm thinking too much on it?
it scares me, knowing i'll no longer see you every day...

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wooo, stanley cup, so much more important than studying for my two hardest finals tomorrow! i wanted canada to win, but florida did.. but its ok because the MVP was from prince edward island even though he was on the florida team, and a couple other good players were also from canada, including the guy whose face got smashed up. so yay, canadians winning! also was a guy from ukraine and the first russian goal tender to win the cup. good for him too. (cuz im mean seriously, how many [good] hockey players are there in florida? its FLORIDA). so boo for the calgary flames losing, but yay for the fact that there were canadians on florida's team who won and got mvp. 2 to 1. oh man.... both teams played really well though.... good game.....


i love hockey

can you tell?

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