You're nothing but a spoiled brat.
Wednesday. 3.28.07 12:30 pm
I like to play with my Nintendo Wii and newly acquired Nintendo DS Lite… so what? There’s absolutely nothing with that. I’ve gone through more mobile phones than many people I know… and? YES, I have more than one car. Who cares? There are so many things that are on repeat in my mind that it’s almost become routine. For one, I will always - no matter how much I try or what I do - be stigmatized for being an only child. Uno. Solitary. Nagiisa. Whatever. Yet, that does not prevent me from living my life and fighting the stereotype. Like I said to some co-workers this past Friday, I worked my ass off for a lot of the things I have, yet there are things that will come easier for me, because I am an only child.
Enough with that rant though. To sum it up, I can act arrogant and selfish, but don’t let that be your only perception of who I am if you’ve never met me (or if you have) because as with anyone, everybody has multiple facets to their personality, and I just so happened to come off more conceited and self-centered than many are comfortable with. I admit that and I know that for a fact. Oftentimes my biggest enemy is myself; My mind likes to throw things at me that cause insecurity and thus has me reeling from the mental and emotional pain I cause myself.
A lot of my current battles are struggles with image and intellect. “If you don’t do it Marc, someone else will” is what I always tell myself every time I’m on the verge of failure (giving up). My co-worker Mary told me that you should never compare yourself to anyone else, because it’s not going to get you anywhere; Everyone has their own sets of strengths and weaknesses but everyone is also equally prone to themselves. That is why I’m only working against myself now. Before, I tried too hard and looked to others as I set my own goals, which to a point is not bad, but when it comes down to it, I never looked at myself to see where I was heading.
To be honest with you, I think I’m more vulnerable now then I was maybe two or three years ago, but I’ve developed a belief and confidence in myself now that it is that much more secure; I can actually walk down a busy downtown sidewalk on my way to work now without worrying what those people around me think. Seriously, I had major image issues. Maybe it is an only child thing.
Now I’m off to do a mini workout session before getting down with some Theme Park on the DS lite.
Zoom.
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Tuesday. 4.3.07 1:29 pm
So right now I'm in Geisel library at UCSD, and I have a class at 11. I went to a class this morning at 8, and as interesting as the material being covered is, I am finding it increasingly difficult to function that early in the morning, especially as a commuter student to campus. That, and I would be enrolled in 19 units after I add the class I attended yesterday at 11.
School thus far has been amazing; Yesterday was the first time I actually sat in a lecture hall with over a hundred students and I did feel a bit intimidated at first, but that wore off when I realized that this was no longer Southwestern.
I'm currently in the process of reading a book called Neon Metropolis, and so far, so good. Now I'm going to head over to Price Center and get myself a healthmex chicken burrito before I pass out from hunger.
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