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Thursday. 10.5.06 2:24 pm
Man it sure has been a long time since I dropped some love in my nuTang. I didn't realize that it is now an invite only place for the cool kids to hang. Haha, but seriously now, what a change. I wonder what Dave has in mind...

But yeah, I have been occupied with school (18 super freakin' units my friends, 5 classes, no social life, you know), work (or lack of it, since I receive the CALVETS benefit thanks to my dad, I have to make less than $10Gs or else we pay my tuition out of pocket which is a big heck no from my parents), working out (it is a religion to me now, I practice every other day with no fail), and cows thrown in for good measure.

I don't think I have ever been so preoccupied in my life, but that's a good thing I suppose. It gives me things to do, albeit on a very strict schedule, and conditions me to better manage my time (or lack of it). This is also my last semester at Southwestern before I FINALLY get my buttocks up and out to UCSD this coming spring quarte rand party like its 2009 (which will probably be the year I graduate =X) just kidding. Hopefully.

I still sing, although I don't nearly record as much as I used to. I actually did sing 5 tracks last night in my "studio" (bathroom) that will be on my "album" (burned cd) that I will distribute to some co-workers whom I promised would get one. I'm actually flattered that they want a cd. Who knows, maybe it might end up in the hands of an executive type who will get blown away by my awesome range and vocal ability (HAHAHAHA). But hey, you never know.

Aight, I am going to get myself some food at the cafeteria on campus before I fall on my face from hunger so I will end this entry here.

And I'm out.

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You're nothing but a spoiled brat.
Wednesday. 3.28.07 12:30 pm
I like to play with my Nintendo Wii and newly acquired Nintendo DS Lite… so what? There’s absolutely nothing with that. I’ve gone through more mobile phones than many people I know… and? YES, I have more than one car. Who cares? There are so many things that are on repeat in my mind that it’s almost become routine. For one, I will always - no matter how much I try or what I do - be stigmatized for being an only child. Uno. Solitary. Nagiisa. Whatever. Yet, that does not prevent me from living my life and fighting the stereotype. Like I said to some co-workers this past Friday, I worked my ass off for a lot of the things I have, yet there are things that will come easier for me, because I am an only child.

Enough with that rant though. To sum it up, I can act arrogant and selfish, but don’t let that be your only perception of who I am if you’ve never met me (or if you have) because as with anyone, everybody has multiple facets to their personality, and I just so happened to come off more conceited and self-centered than many are comfortable with. I admit that and I know that for a fact. Oftentimes my biggest enemy is myself; My mind likes to throw things at me that cause insecurity and thus has me reeling from the mental and emotional pain I cause myself.

A lot of my current battles are struggles with image and intellect. “If you don’t do it Marc, someone else will” is what I always tell myself every time I’m on the verge of failure (giving up). My co-worker Mary told me that you should never compare yourself to anyone else, because it’s not going to get you anywhere; Everyone has their own sets of strengths and weaknesses but everyone is also equally prone to themselves. That is why I’m only working against myself now. Before, I tried too hard and looked to others as I set my own goals, which to a point is not bad, but when it comes down to it, I never looked at myself to see where I was heading.

To be honest with you, I think I’m more vulnerable now then I was maybe two or three years ago, but I’ve developed a belief and confidence in myself now that it is that much more secure; I can actually walk down a busy downtown sidewalk on my way to work now without worrying what those people around me think. Seriously, I had major image issues. Maybe it is an only child thing.

Now I’m off to do a mini workout session before getting down with some Theme Park on the DS lite.

Zoom.

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