Seriously. I woke up at around 8:30 and took a walk first thing. I studied Japanese for a while. I did my devotionals and bible reading, then I cleaned house and I played Neverwinter. That was really about it. Whelp. At this point, I think it's safe to say that Sunday was my first break day since I got my motivation back. I'm a tad bit worried about what I'll do when I have a job tying me down 8 hours a day, but that starts tomorrow, and I'll deal with it as it comes up. Plenty of people have full time jobs and get stuff done. I can too :D Until then, I'm off to try out Path of Exile, and see if it's any good.

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Yeah, so I did a good workout today. First time in 8 years really. I feel a lot more motivated lately. It's been good to get out and walk these past few days. I've also been talking with some guy my landlord sent out to shovel the drains in front of our house. I think I made a new friend. First friend here in Tyler. We're both into anime and gaming. I'm headed over to his house later on today to hang out. It feels good to have a friend again. It really feels like I haven't had any friends or done anything significant since Boys Ranch. I'm glad that things are starting to look up. I kind of feel like getting here on Nutang and writing things down has helped with my motivation. So thanks nutang, I really missed this small community. I'm really surprised to see that it's still going too, after such a long time.

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I've been feeling very motivated the past few days. I'm using this motivation to start a workout routine. Hopefully, I'll have the discipline to keep at it when I lose my motivation. Yesterday, and the day before I walked 20 minutes each. Today I walked for 20 minutes again, did 20 standing calf raises and plan on mowing the lawn once my landlord brings over a lawnmower. That should be fun :D

Hopefully, I can maintain this motivation and have it seep over into my Japanese skills too. I'm definitely getting better. I was listening to an online Japanese radio station yesterday, and they played a song I really liked. By listening closely and typing in the lyrics on Google, I was able to find the song. It's called "NEO UNIVERSE" by L'Arc en Ciel. It's sounds pretty good. Here's the song if anyone is interested:



At this point, I'm going to try and read a chapter on textfugu until my landlord brings by the lawnmower, then I'll get the front yard mowed. I'm hoping to get the twins to clean up house today, I'm going to hound them until it's clean. Hopefully if I keep it up, they'll get something done.

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Wow, I was out mowing the lawn, and while I was doing that, the twin that was awake decided to start cleaning up the kitchen. Nice!

Mowing the lawn was kind of fun. It's something I haven't had to do since I was at Boys Ranch back in 2005. That was right before I went to Japan. That brought back a lot of good memories. And reminded me about how much I suck at mowing the lawn. Fun times :D

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So, I was very nervous yesterday. I applied for a position at a local cable company as tech support. They told me that I had the job, pending a background check. Problem 1: I had an account with this company before that did not get paid in full. This was nearly 5 years ago though. I was still very worried that this would disqualify me. I called this morning to verify when I was supposed to come in, and they said they would see me there at 8:00 am on Monday, May 6th. At this point, I'm pretty confident that they are going to keep me on the job, even though they no doubt know about my prior account with them. I'm so happy to have a job, it's nice.

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I'm not a butler. I'm really not. But you'd think I was if you saw how much I clean up other peoples messes. My two brothers absolutely refuse to clean up the house. They fuck up EVERYTHING.

Their own room? Trashed
Their own bathroom? DISGUSTING PILES OF SHIT ON THE TOILET SEAT.
The living room? Well, when their bedroom became too dirty, the migrated to the living room and are in the process of trashing it.
Kitchen? ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. They refuse to clean up any mess they have made in here.
Laundry room? CLOTHES EVERYWHERE.
Front Yard? Covered in trash from their car.
Back Yard? Littered with rubbish. They have also shot holes through the shed with their bb guns.

In short, the entire house is wrecked because of those two. They are idiots, and they refuse to clean up after themselves. I see now why they had such a hard time in the group home they lived in before begging me to let them live with us. I don't even know what to do anymore. But one thing is for sure, I will not be cleaning up their mess anymore. If it gets too dirty, I'll just save up a few paychecks, and move out. Leave them to their pile of garbage. I'm done being a butler.

They didn't even pay me all that well...

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A few weeks ago, when I was wanting to get back into studying Japanese, I became very depressed and decided it wasn't worth investing in learning if I wasn't ever going to get the chance to go live in Japan. I realized last night that while it's unlikely I'll ever get to go live in Japan, it is still worth it to study Japanese. There's always Japanese online that I can read, and even if I can't go live there forever, at least I can go visit on a vacation. I decided it's high time to get back on it, so I've got textfugu.com open again, and I'm ready to start again.

Wish me luck!

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I just published my last entry, and realized that I was basically committing to formulating a plan to stop relying on preset plans before getting out and doing things. How do I stop this madness!

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Things are still getting better. I finished writing my sisters essay today. The last one I had to write to earn the money she gave me. I don't mind helping her out, she's family, and she's raising an energetic little 6 year old. I know I would have appreciated any help I could get while I was still in school. I didn't do very much today, in terms of studying Japanese or Programming. Hell, I haven't done very much in a few months. I still beat myself up over it though. I keep telling myself, "This is why you won't ever amount to anything, you won't even do the things you love doing!" I tell myself those things, but it never changes. I tell myself that I'm lost, so I can't start if I don't know where to go, how to increase my skill. I need to just stop planning and start doing. I'll let you know where I go with that. For now, I need to just figure out what I'm going to do.

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