I'm off work today. I spent a great deal of money yesterday shopping with the babies and my sister. I bought clothes and more practical things, I'd like to believe. In other words, money well spent. Today is a day for deep cleaning. I know it's a little late for a good spring cleaning but, it has to get done, right? I can't help but chuckle to myself looking through my closet. I've changed so much over time. My closet is full of different styles of colorful shirts and dresses I would have never worn 6-8 years ago. Back then, I had black and grey shirts. Most of which were men's clothing. Along with the baggy jeans with no shorts, skirts, and definitely no dresses in sight. I've finally found a feminine side in me and it's not so bad.

Shoes? Purses? Hell no! Still not interested in owning 500 pairs of shoes and a purse to match each one. However, I did trade in the beat up high top converse for some nice black flats AND, (drum roll please) I own a pair of black heels. I know I sound ridiculous but, that's a huge step for me. They are only about an inch high. Standing at 6ft. tall I don't need no stiletto heels. Besides, I can walk better barefoot after a few glasses of wine than completely sober in heels.

I use to wear crazy funky make-up and dye my hair red. I had every color mascara a girl could buy along with brightly colored eye shadows. I never cared about my appearance. I never thought I was the least bit pretty so, why not have a little fun in the make up department? I never went all out and made myself look like a clown. but I'd love to mix different eye shadows together and just roll with it. Now, I try to keep everything a little more neutral. I still like to occasionally dye my hair a reddish brown. My make-up is usually black eye liner and mascara for the eyes. my usual foundation and bronzer for my cheeks. Yup.. that's about it.

I need to get make to my late spring/summer cleaning. I just felt like documenting my thought's on how I've changed over the years. From not caring and looking like a total tom-boy, to feeling a little more confident and attempting to be more feminine. I'm the complete opposite of the person I used to be. One of my favorite things now-a-days is running into an old friend from high school because every single one literally says the exact same thing...

OMG! is that you Brittney??!! You look like a girl!

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So, I've taken a liking to cooking. Something in the past I never really found interesting. I knew the basics... How to work the microwave, boil water, turn the oven on and off. All of those little things were the only thing that mattered because that's all I needed to know.

Things have changed in the past few years. When I lived on my own for the first time in South Carolina, I had to learn how to cook. My mother was no chef. I had no one in my immediate family to look to when it came to cooking. Over time when I became a military wife, I started cooking for my family and friends. I started to experiment and think outside the box.

Through the years of trying new things and venturing outside my comfort zone I have found a love for cooking and baking. Mainly baking but, I am starting to cook more. My best friend and I are always scouting for a new recipe. Each time we find something a little more challenging. We've made some pretty amazing things! However, we've also failed miserably. No matter what the outcome, we always have fun with it.

What does this random, boring, story have to do with mothers day? Well, one thing I've always lacked with my baking is the utensils. I love watching the Food Network channel. There are so many great ideas and new recipes I would love to try. But, when they start pulling out their fancy kitchen equipment, I can't help but frown and change the channel. STUPID FANCY KITCHEN APPLIANCES!!! Sure I have a bowl and whisk along with a hand held electric mixer for the 1990's. I've done the best I could with what I had in front of me. However, everything changed on Mother's Day...

My family gave me the best presents EVER. To start, I have a new Artisan Kitchen Aid Mixer with attachments. AND IT'S FREAKING PURPLE!! In addition, a hand held milkshake/smoothie maker, cook books, and a Ninja food processor/chopper/blender/IT DOES EVERYTHING!!!! It's a whole set of Ninja awesomeness. Now that I have more professional cooking appliances, my mind is racing at all of the possibilities. I can't wait to try out all of my new kitchen toys.

I'm never going to leave the kitchen... ever

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Things have been crazy lately. Awesome and stressful and everything else. One thing I have become obsessed with is reading. My friend gifted me with a Kindle Fire this passed Christmas. Since then, I've read a ridiculous amount of books. I love to read. It's been harder to sit down, relax, and crack open a book having the babies. My son would like to run up and try and tear the pages out. Now, with my kindle, this most he can do is run up and swipe the screen to the next page. No tearing pages out. In the passed few months I've read well over a dozen books (Which I find a HUGE accomplishment while caring for two little munchkins!)

As a matter of fact just blogging about this makes me want to read some more. I'm currently reading "Come away with me" by Kristen Proby. I've read books with some intense make-out scenes that continue into more passion. However, this book... Dear Jesus there are so many intimate moments with every little detail explained so vividly. Sometime I'm almost uncomfortable reading the words on the screen. Overall, it is a great book and with each passing word the suspense of how this book ends is KILLING ME.

Must. Go. Read. More.

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I haven't gotten around to updating life so....

My birthday was incredible! My friend took me to a fancy, fine dining restaurant. He dressed up in a suit and I wore that black dress I mentioned. It was my first fine dining experience and I loved every second. Not to mention everything we ordered was the BEST food I've ever eaten in my life. Calamari for the appetizer, Filet cooked medium, lobster mac and cheese! The blueberry mojito was AMAZING! Ugh I could go on and on...

Also, he gave me a beautiful necklace with my birthstone surrounded by diamond accents. I love it love it love it!!!! I tried to get away with wearing it at work but, my boss caught a glimpse of it last week and made me take it off. I was so bummed. I wish I could wear it every moment of every day.

The kids are great. No one has been sick or injured. KB has had her ups and downs with Softball. She's already played a couple games. When it comes to practice, she's playing in the dirt and not paying attention to anything around her. However, in the games she seems more into it.

Cutting this entry short... Until next time

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My Birthday is this upcoming Friday. YAY! I will be turning 24. I'd say that's officially mid twenties. My wonderful friend and I are both off work and, we are going to spend the evening together. I'm not sure what exactly we will be doing. Dinner.. maybe a movie? Should I dress casual? Or, maybe wear the somewhat formal..ish skin tight black dress he bought me? I'll have to wait and see. Anticipation flows through my veins as I drowned in excitement.

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If you would have walked up to the 16 or 17 year old me and told me I was going to be turning 24 with two kids and going through a divorce, I would've laughed and said you were crazy.

However, if you would have told that same me that both of 'my boys' were going to be arrested on the same night for the same reasons and, be spending a minimum of 5 YEARS in prison, I'd punch you in the face. Then, I loved them both. They were my best friends. Now, those same boys are men and they disgust me. It was all over the news yesterday. Their pictures plastered on a poster board along with the other 20 men arrested... It makes me sick. I don't know what to think. The reality of everything is right in front of me but, I don't want to believe it. I want it to all be fake or some sort of misunderstanding. However, seeing the news and the police reports, there's no denying it anymore. This is real. They really tried to do that... Their lives are over. My boys... I don't know them anymore.. I choke back the tears and suppress the memories of all the good times we had together as teenagers. Everything is a faded memory.

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I laughed. When I read the charges I fucking laughed.
Now?
Shock.
I feel sick. My mind won't stop. I want the thoughts to go away but they won't and I'm freaking out. I can barely speak clearly. Every word that comes out of my mouth is slurred like a hopeless drunk. With little information about what happened my mind is left to wonder. He could be released. He could be gone for years. What am I suppose to tell my children? How do I explain he won't be around for a long time. It could be nothing. Maybe its not so bad and he'll be let out. Maybe it's the worst possible scenario... My mind won't stop. My head is throbbing. Why is he so stupid. Why would he do that.

Why Are You So Fucking Stupid?

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The dinner show I work for ran out of food last night. Dear God, it was a disaster. I almost witnessed a fight break out in the kitchen. Shit got intense. After what seemed like an hour of waiting the cooks finally set out the freshly baked chicken, only to realize in was still partially raw AFTER serving it to guests. Can you say SALMONELLA??

The family and I are going to a birthday/Christmas party for a good friend tonight. I know that sounds odd but, she was hospitalized for severe heart complications in December and was in an induced coma for Christmas and New Years. So, we are deciding to have a late celebration for her. The kids and I are excited! We miss her like crazy.

I have a confession to make... My inner child is ecstatic about the new Lego Movie coming into theaters soon. Want to know the best part? I'm going to use my kids as an excuse to see it. -Insert evil laughter- I honestly think I am more excited about it than they are.

I can't think of anything else to ramble on about. Until my next pointless entry...

Fin

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