What if it happened again, but to a different person, something so bad you wouldn't know what to do?

This can relate to a lot of people.
But what if that stars aligned themselves in such a way it did all happen again?
A friend died again, she got into another car crash, or someone you love did the unthinkable, maybe you hit that gas pedal again.

You already been through it once before, but again perhaps pushing you over the edge.


That'd suck wouldn't it?
I really need to start doing that shit.
To remind myself.

I made this time alone.
And I am very proud of myself.

Perhaps the new years revolution will hold it's ground. :]



I were to hit the gas pedal again.
Idfk what I'd do.
Or if I lost another parent to alcoholism.

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You told yourself one thing and that works out, for some times, but people around you change and you want in on the change, although not a change for them to look like them, you want to feel a bit of the happiness they all share.

The place space inside my head where I came to get away from it all has been invaded by everyone who I don't want there. There in there, in my head. My own fucking head uninvited...what nerve!

I can't be here by myself, if they're in here as well making me want someone to be by my side pick me up again.

As I look around dispirited hoping for a sign, a 'click' with someone, nothing.


A friend got high and got into a fight with his ex, they still like each other.
He couldn't control himself, and too many painful memories.

I call a friend, shes sleeping other friend calls links me to her b/f.
Last thing i fucking needed.


But the little cricket listened to me.




Sidenote: The haven is being invaded, it better be empty by morning.
P.s: The clean cut voice of hope, thanks for nothing.
High hopes crash harder than you know it.

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