thursday was the last day of my summer class... we had pot luck and mini show of each of our own masterpieces.. i thought of my own pottery as plain as compared to my classmates.. when asked to choose 2 pieces for exhibition, i had a hard time choosing... coz none stood out with style and symmetry form.. most of my pieces did not turn out as what i expected... sigh.. but it's alright...

when i showed my pieces to my friends, they were awed... saying they couldn't do it if it were them... i felt funny hearing that comment... coz when i started off with ceramics, i almost had emotional breakdown... seriously... so i'm glad that my masterpieces were appreciated... *smiles*

but now, the bigger question is how and where do i keep them? should i sell them in garage sale or send them all back to my family?? hhmm....

on the last day of wet clay, i kinda miss messing with clay already... but it's over now.. i'm not sure whether i will have a chance to do ceramics in the future.. but it was a different experience... the only A that i've got for any art class... i remember not handing in my art homework in primary school... and ended up with a C... my mom flipped but i never said anything bout it.. wanted to be a good daughter to my mom i guess.. oh well... i'm just gonna admire my masterpieces for now.. my sweat and tears...

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was talking to my housemate over dinner... he said that cooking skill is a must for girls... because the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.. and he said that guys find girls who cook attractive..

as a woman, i think cooking skills is survival skillss.. or maybe i'm not romantic enough to think of delicious meals to pamper my man... i rather help out in cooking and clean up after that... i like cleaning.. what's wrong with that?? i have obsessive compulsive disorder~~

women must at know how to cook... stereotype or qualification to be love candidate??

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slept at 4am.. woke up at 12 to finish off my ceramics assignment... and I RUINED MY FINALE BOWL!~~ DAMN IT~!

it was the biggest bowl that i've ever made.. and i trimmed too deep on the base... it's a sign~~~ dwell in too deep and u shall find a broken piece~~ mayb god is telling me something...

i need my vitamin 'ai' (love in chinese)~~ where art thou??

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will you forget the face of your loved ones??

will you forget the smell of your loved ones??

will you forget the touch of your loved ones??

will you forget the moments with your loved ones??

will you forget how it feels like to be in love with that person??

will you drift apart from your loved ones??

don't despair.. don't think too much.. put in effort.. be strong..

just hold on...

i am... hope you are too...

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papi is my....

1. bank
2. pillar
3. funny man
4. sports guide
5. ....

i seriously can't think of any other word or statement... honestly, my dad is a mystery to me.. childhood days were spent mostly with mami...

BUT i do know that dad tolerates very well... loves peace and quiet.. going thru his mid life now.. has an open mind.. supportive...

in my whole 22 years on earth, i have only seen him angry at us twice.. and twice is enough..

conversations between my dad and i do not flow like how it is between my dad and sis... i do get jealous sometimes.. feeling left out as being the middle child.. i know that he trusts me for making my own decisions... i'm really grateful of having him as my father.. my dearest papi...

gosh.. i miss home... *sob*

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this morning, i was haunted by a past mistake.. the humiliation, stupidity that i felt was killing me again..

it got me wondering... whether the me now is trying to make everything right to cover up that past.. did i really get over and accept the mistake i made? or am i just a perfectionist?

ever since i could remember, i have been trying hard to please people.. wanting them to like me... doing all the rightful things for the attention.. people's opinion matters to me so much.. guess that's why i want to be perfect..

but now, i know i could never be perfect.. i could only be the best of myself.. and still learning.. to accept my own self and my past.. will that be a different type of perfectionism??

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