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ChrissyBabe1718
Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. white
Location Moscow, PA
School.
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My mindless ramblings..

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god dammit.....
Wednesday. 8.10.05 11:19 am
i have to go to the flipping ER....for a frickin strep (i'm thinking) throat....i've called all over today and shit, called the dr's around here....they told me to change my primary physician on my insurance to around here...and i'm not gonna live here that much longer, so i called Cathy (my dr at home) and she told me to call customer service on my insurance card...so i did..and he told me to switch my primary doctor to the one here, and then just switch it back when i move back home....but i'm not gonna do that either, b/c the doctor up here can't get me in until monday anyway...and i'm going home that day....and by then, i could be REALLY sick...cuz, ya know..if it is strep, it spreads to your other organs and kills you...which i REALLLLY REALLY don't want to die....so....i asked if i could go to the emergency room at Mercy hospital in Scranton, and he said, yeah, you could do that.....so...i gotta go there..i hate ER's..i hope they don't make me get a tonsilectomy...(sp??) ....i don't want my tonsils out..i. like them where they are!!! but anyway, i'm out..i wanna get my paycheck *yay* and get this show on the road...*sighs* wish me luck!!!!

i love you baby

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it's tough...
Tuesday. 8.9.05 6:59 pm
watching: spongebob

listening to: spongebob

mood: really really sick and depressed


well..i didn't stay through work today..i couldn't..i almost threw up every time someone came through my line with already made food from the cafe....especially this one loaf of bread..i could smell it...it sent me almost over the edge, so i went and asked the supervisor if i could go home..i stayed for 4 hours...more than i planned.....so i got home around 3ish...i bought a big can of chicken noodle soup, the family size, so i could just reheat what i didn't eat for lunch later tonight if i was hungry....so i heated up the can of soup, ate a bowl of soup and made a cup of raspberry tea...took 4 ibuprofen, and lordy lordy, i can breathe, i can swallow without dying, and i can cough without it hurting so bad....i mean, the soreness is still there, but now, i know....to just buy chicken noodle soup..i mean, my nose isn't stuffy or anything now, it's just runny :( but at least it soothed my sore throat :) so thanks zero_jak for the info on the ibuprofen....it helped a bunches :)


but on to the toughness title thingger....being sick is making me really really depressed...all i want to do is listen to mariah carey's song "one sweet day" look at my senior project at pictures of my mom and i and cry, while holding on to a stuffed animal...i did that for about an hour before i got up and wrote this....okay okay, maybe a half hour..i exaggerated...but it's still really friggin hard...it's been like, 3 years now......why is it still affecting me soo bad??? i mean yeah, i was 15 when she died, and i DID find her dead, and she WAS my bestest friend.....but...still..i'm acting like i did the first few weeks after she died....actually, i barely cried....i was so shocked that it just....made me oblivious to all emotion or pain...so maybe this is just payback for that..idk..but it's really making me mad...all i want is my mommy back...i don't care that i'm 18, 19 in less than 2 months.....i still cry and hold my stuffed elephant my mom gave me when i was a baby and i bawl...i have feelings....i don't care how babyish that makes me sound...i want my mommy...like a 4 year old with a nightmare, i want her back..i wanna be held by her when i'm sick and i want her to make me her food...my renditions of her cooking does not compare to hers....a lot, but not....exact....i just want her back in the house where she belongs...i want my life to be perfect..even thou it's not possible...i mean, maybe if she didn't die, i wouldn't have gotten with the abusive asshole who hated me and my friends and tried to kill me and threatened to kill them....i wouldn't have lost my baby...i probably wouldn't have jim....but i think i could live with that...as horrible as it sounds...i mean, i love my fiance to death...i really really do..but...nobody can compare to my mommy......ever.....i mean, i love jim to death and i won't trade him for anything....but if god came to me right now and said "Christine, you have a choice..you can have your mother back or you can have Jim" and I think I'd pick to have Jim, because I know my mom was suffering so much here on Earth, but it was still to early to take her from me...i mean god..a 15 year old..who just got done her freshman year of high school...with everything ahead of her for a mom to be there for, and she's gone....it's just the fucked up karma of the world i guess....i wasn't a good daughter...i was so bitchy...we had our fights, and i regret every one of them....but i gotta go....i'm crying now....and i'm sick of crying..so i gotta put my mind on somethin else...........later all

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sore throat remedy???
Tuesday. 8.9.05 9:50 am
i have a feeling i won't last through work today..i can barely talk ...does anyone have any INSTANT reliefs for a really really sore throat?? i've been drinking tea with honey and lemon a lot and i've been gargling with salt water and i tried an apple cider vinegar and water gargle.....so if anyone has any ideas, lemme know..i'm willing to try anything....

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sore throats....
Monday. 8.8.05 1:08 pm
this is the 2nd sore throat in a month..i'm so pissed off....i hate being sick...i really do...i feel so crappy..i don't want to call off work either..but if it doesn't get better, i'm gonna have to , which means less pay :( at least payday's in 2 days.......yay....but i'll write more later..i gotta try and find my thermometer :(

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ooh...my...godddddd...
Sunday. 8.7.05 4:49 pm
i seriously hate weekends now...i hate them..i hate them...at least working them....there's TOOOOO many people that grocery shop.....goodness! yesterday, there was this couple with 2 grocery carts FULL, and i mean, overflowing with groceries...the total was like $541.89 or somethin like that........i was in shock, and so was the bagger kid ryan...who's kinda my buddy now...but he got an $8 tip outta the deal and shared it with me..i felt special....and today..just.......ughhhhh....i'm so glad i get a half hour lunch break now, instead of just the 15 minute breaks....well, i get a half hour lunch break and 2 15 minute breaks..which is nice...it's just.....euuuggghhhh...not fun to stand there...specially when you have to pee...and get antsy cuz your next break is in like an hour..it sucks...but i ate this yummy thinggie for lunch..it was like, 2 pizza crusts with broccoli and cheese in the middle...kinda like a stromboli..but just broccoli and cheese..god i was in HEAVEN!! :) we had broccoli for dinner last night too...well...actually..donna made a london broil, baked potatos, broccoli and....salad..it was sooooooo good...we all ate as a family too....it was kinda nice...it was funny...when i got home from work last night, donna's like...."hey working girl"...and i started laughing...because the other girl in this house, keirstin, doesn't work ...she's lazy....she stays at home all day, sleeps, doesn't clean or do ANYTHING...while the rest of us work....she'ss so fucking lazy...and jim's parents don't even like her at all..it's nice..haha...donna and i talk about her behind her back all the time :P but....donna was like throwing it in her face that she doesn't work....b/c we kinda subtly pick on her all the time...it was just kinda funny to me....but..i'm out for now..i'd like to just lay on the bed for awhile....be vertical instead of horizontal for awhile..ya know???


laters alllllllllll


yesterday was jim's and my 10 month anniversary, and today is our 3 months of engagement :) it's nice :P

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I'M READYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Saturday. 8.6.05 9:14 am
i'm ready, i'm ready, i'm ready....haha...gotta go to work....damn it's cold this morning..just thought i'd let everyone know that...once i stepped outta the shower i'm fucking FREEZING!!!! brrrrrrrrr...too cold for summer....let's all move to florida!!!!! well...some select few..that aren't..icky....haha....i hope i'm in a good mood today...i have a sore throat and can barely talk..that'll be good for customers....(in a croaky voice) hi,how are you..do you have your gold card today??? ....riiiight...anyhoo..i gotta get off this thing or i'll be late for work.....and i don't want that :)

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