welp, my pal jill FINALLY posted her pictures from new years eve so i snagged a couple to show you cool coolies...

awr, me and lauren. why yes, we are drunk!


edward and i are cute, NOT disguting, like you think.


Drunky McFish Face, as usual. Also, that's amy in front.


me and andre (yes, classy, i know) and dan. fabulous.


yes, new years eve was at a lakehouse. cold but fun. the andre was delicious (not really) and i had 3 very nice champagne glasses (pier one is having that big sale you know) but edward broke 2 of them. it was bound to happen.

so, classes have started. i'm taking microeconomics, intro to business, american politics, and music apprecation. on monday and wednesday i'm in class from 6-8:45 PM, and on tuesdays thursdays i'm there from 1:50-4:30. fun. but not really. luckily i have 3 of those classes with danni, my sister. i'll be at auburn this summer and i can't wait. no more community college for me, blech. anyway, that's all. oh, i might get to have quail for dinner. yum, i can't wait.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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I have finally become blog savvy (sort of, not really)! I joined blogexplosion and learned some things, including how to rent my blog out. I have done so and, surprisingly enough, somebody decided to accept my offer! JaneLovesTarzan is my fiiiirst tenant! Exciting stuff for me. She has an amazing blog. You all should check it out, it's refreshing to read something so personal and honest. Yes, I'm going to have to demand that everyone who reads my blog click on that little thumbnail to your left and read hers as well. It's well worth your time. Thanks guys!

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**update: so i ended up at princetons AGAIN last night and got called a "fucking four eyes" by a dirty old man who groped my friend. i told him no touching and he just flipped the hell out. drunk old men make me sad. drunk old men with unoriginal insults make me even sadder.**

last night i went to princetons (not my choice. i hate that damn place) to buy lindsay some drinks. kristy met up with us there but not before some older men (i'd say they were in their 60s) had a waitress bring Lindsay and I 2 dollars for the jukebox. haha, aw, how sweet. 2 bucks. for the jukebox. it has only rap, country, and "best of" albums. we were finally able to find a grammy nominees album that had the beach boys, beastie boys, and elvis costello. after that we were forced to listen to madonna and justink timberlake. also, i had the joy of being hit on by a super duper drunk guy. here's how the conversation went:

Daniel (who was very drunk and slurred every word): "Heeeey, I saw you... you know, from across the bar aaaaand... you look like somebody i'd like to talk to... "

Me: "Awww, yeaaaah? How nice."

Daniel: "Sooo, yeah, I work at Redstone Arsenal. I'm an... engineer. Yeah, it's great. We fly places. New York... California..."

Me: "Neat."

Daniel: (noticed me ask Kristy about her new Razor phone): "Oh woooow, sooo, I got my friend a razor phone foooor Christmassss. Yeah... I alllssso paid the first six monthsss of hissss bill... Yeah, you can't really complain about that, riiiight? Heh, heh..."

Me: "Nope. So... do you have a girlfriend?"

Daniel: "Awww, noooo, I'm ssssingle!"

Me: "Well... I have a boyfriend so... yeah. It was real nice talking to you. Bye."

And that was that. Lindsay told me I'm smooth. I guess so.


So, christmas is over. i got luggage. i'm not going anywhere anytime soon but hey, who doesn't need luggage? nikki has a splint on her jaw and can't open it all the way but the swelling has gone down and she can eat soup and ice cream with a spoon and not a rubber syringe. that must be nice. i went out to lunch with Kristy and Ishmael today. they're the only 2 people from high school i keep in touch with. i hated high school.

it makes me sad that so many people my age still live with their parents at home and don't even bother going to a community college. seriously, it's a 2 year degree and you can make more money with a degree. are they lazy? do they think they're stupid or something? it's strange, the "cool" kids from high school live with their parents or at least 5 miles away (max) from their parents, and they drink every night of the week. then they go to their job at the local mall or to serve or bartend at Ruby Tuesday's. it doesn't really break my heart because that's the choice they made... but why? i can't think of a single person i graduated with that didn't have enough potential to get a 2 year degree. what's stopping them? i'll never understand. anyway, what a dumb thing to rant about. moving on.

i bought into the cowboy boot trend. what?!? don't judge me. they were half off and they. are. awesome. if i can get a picture up i will. i'm going to the brick tonight with kristy and ish so hopefully we can get some pictures together. with the boots. edward is going to make fun of me, i know it. speaking of edward, i'm going to stay with his family for new years. i can't wait. i know my parents missed me, but it seems like they missed nagging me more than anything. ridiculous. plus danni's already gone back down to auburn so it's me, nikki, and my parents, and it sure is depressing. so yes, i can't wait until tomorrow. birmingham here i come. i also bought edward a champagne glass (pier one imports is having a half off sale) so new years eve won't be so bad. after that... back to class and work. blech. but at least it's something i'm used to. i fear change.

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My friend Jeff Thompson, who is in social journalism at Auburn, wrote this. Any comments you have will be directed back to him, although I will state that I agree with everything he wrote.


Jeff Thompson on religion and the season, and assholes:
so if we've been taking Christ out of Christmas, where have we been putting him?
is he floating in some purgatory-esque state above us, just waiting for americans to invite him back into his old Christmas habits, like showing up where people gather in his name but don't acknowledge his presence? is he waiting to take his rest in the manger on the mantle, above the stocking overflowing with treats for the dog? Responding "yes" or "no" (because he answers every prayer) to pleas for x-box 360s and furbys and razor scooters and razor phones and other shit? maybe he needs to decide what to do or what not to do some more so we have a template for morality and conviction and those damn bracelets would be relevant again. He could give our president more advice, maybe what george could get his Saudi friends this year, what would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt he's willing to suck their dicks until crude oil comes out said urethras. i guess its possible he's just waiting up there for his chance to get back up on that cross. i mean, He loved it the first time we put him up there, right?
i submit to you that the arrogant ranting of the christian populus is justified when it states that Christ has been removed from christmas. when they preach from the pulpits across this great country that no more does Jesus fit the description of "the reason for the season." it has filled Christians' hearts with anger to hear the words "merry christmas" dissipate from the lips of the retail clerks. And be replaced with such universal tidings of good fortune as "happy holidays"... The season they speak of was our season first! it is blasphemy! woe to the non-believers, they shall surely atone at the hands of the almighty for their sins against the Lord! Oh Great Christ where are you in our time of need?!!

i'll tell you who took Christ out of Christmas. it was you and your fucking Christmas tree.

Every time you voted for a $60 billion defense budget and against a tax hike for education. Every time you silently worshipped Clear Channel, Wal-Mart, Coca-Cola, Nike, Rupert Murdock, Haliburton, Enron, and etc. for their stunning achievements. Every time you scorned welfare because people abuse it or socialized healthcare because you wouldnt get treated for illness faster than the poor. The market kills so swiftly when it uses your love of money as the dagger.
my first question is this: in the nativity scene nestled quaintly on the end table in the living room of your $250,000 home, where is the tree? if you notice the star in the center of the top of the stable, you can draw an invisible cone straight south to find it. perhaps you will notice it's placement directly above the manger. coincidence? i think not. there's your Christmas present you asshole. God. and what is God you ask? God is love. I find it hard to believe that a pair of $200 nike shox made by a starving Vietnamese child possibly making $0.08 american dollars per week can, in your minds, potentially symbolize such a gift.
However, I may be wrong. i dare say it is possible they were purchased out of undying love for an offspring, lover or spouse. in which case i ask my second question:
Are they even aware of that love? Are you aware? Or has the "hustle and bustle" of the Christmas season (i.e. day-after-thanksgiving fistfight you initiated when the last pair's availability was threatened) desensitized you to this intended motive? and when your ungrateful kid cries because they aren't the right fucking color will you throw up your hands in disgust of not being able to please the spoiled brat no matter how hard you try? or will you relate it to the "Christ" those goddamned Islams removed from your merry day and love them even more, like he loved you when you spit on his corpse while it hung from that other religious tree, like you do every damn day.

you'd spit on that kid. of course you would.

i implore you, this season, when you get to the cashier after an hour and a half of waiting in line, when she does her best to force that smile, that sick, pathetic smile she's mustered up the heart to give you after 10 hours on her feet, dealing with irate customer after irate customer for slave wages and says "happy holidays"...

keep your fucking arrogant republican mouth shut.

even if you're boiling with disgust and swelling with hopelessly sinful pride for your religion, keep your mouth shut and realize that she's begging you to Praise Jesus. Practically from her knees she struggles to find the breath to purse her lips and ask you to thank God for the job that gave you your time off for the holiday, thank God you don't have an illegitimate child that won't get a goddamned thing for Christmas, that you might not even get to hold because you'll be working that day. Praise Heaven Above you haven't been yelled at, cursed at, called a stupid bitch and a fucking cunt all day because the ipod sale isn't running anymore, or because you can't make the credit card machine confirm the purchase faster.

with that phrase, she asks you to thank God you're not her.

so my final question is, what would Jesus do?

he'd come to your lavish house and beat your fat ass with your stupid tree. then you and He and your family and your gifts and your Christmas dinner would go to the ghetto across town, the place you tell your kids not to go near because black people are scary and unpredictable, and you'd give away everything. everything. even your shoes. and you'd see those that were hungry eat and those that were cold warmed and those that had nothing given something and you would see love. you would see that baby in that manger. you would understand tolerance and hope, as well as the lack thereof. and you would humble yourself before your Lord as you should on Christmas. Asshole.

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so my younger sister, nikki, had to get jaw surgery on thursday. i visited her the night before because she had to stay the night in a hospital in birmingham. my dad and i took her out for a steak because she won't be able to eat solid food for a good while. now she's home and i just feel terrible for her. her jaw has been banded shut AND she had her wisdom teeth pulled while they did the surgery so she's in pain, swollen, and unable to speak eat or breathe well. last night she woke up in a panic because she couldn't breathe at all. danni (my other sister) and i got home at about 3 this morning and noticed that the lights were on. we step in the house and nikki is on the couch with my parents hovering over her. we finally got them to quit smothering her and tucked her into bed with Spirited Away on to help her sleep. she's never seen it but i brought it home for her to watch. so we all slept in the same room last night, me on the floor, just in case nikki woke up upset again. poor girl. luckily she gets the bands off in about a week so she'll be able to function soon.

so that's what's going on in the family... in personal news i got hit on by my ultra-skeezy old boss. i didn't notice him when i got to the bar but he apparently saw me. he saw me, came over and proceeded to guilt-trip me for "ignoring" him. for the record, i thought he lived in tennessee. but apparently, he quit his management job at a movie theater to bartend at the local red lobster. hell yeah, he's my kind of guy. moving up in the world. also, when he left, he did that creepy kind of hug where he runs his hand over my stomach... ugh, blech, gross, fuck off, don't touch! AND he kissed my head. please! i don't need that shit! oh, and i got to see my ex which was awkward. blech, i can't hang out at the brick anymore, i always see people i hope to not ever have to see. ever. what a bust. watch, i'll end up at the brick tonight. there's just nothing else to do in decatur, alabama. hopefully Edward will come and visit me sometime next week. it would save my life if he did. poor guy has to go home (to auburn) the day after christmas to work. the 27th will be his first day at his new graphic design job. he's so lucky. he'll get paid 7 bucks an hour AND he gets to make his own hours. i'm super jealous.

okay, the end, i can't think of much more to say.

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