|
|
 MidnightMonkey Age. 18 Gender. Female Ethnicity. freak ^.^ (aka~ me) Location North Las Vegas, NV School. Other » More info.                                | Small, simple, safe price Rise the wake and carry me with all of my regrets This is not a small cut that scabs, and dries, and flakes, and heals And I am not afraid to die I'm not afraid to bleed, and fuck, and fight. I want the pain of payment What's left, but a section of pigmy size cuts Much like a slew of a thousand unwanted fucks Would you be my little cut? Would you be my thousand fucks? And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart Love is not like anything Especially a fucking knife Look at me, you can tell By the way I move and do my hair Do you think that it's me or it's not me? I don't even care I'm alive I don't smell I'm the cleanest I have ever been. I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry, I feel dry (dry) [Chorus:] Just look at me, look at me now I'm a fake [x4] Just look at me, look at me now I'm a fake [x4] Do I drink? Do I date? I've got perfect placement all my ink Satisfied, in your eyes I'm the biggest fan I've got right now I made sure, that I look how I wanted to look The people around me, the people surround me I feel big, I feel tall, I feel dry (dry) [Chorus] My stomach hurts now, and all tied off in lace I pray, I beg for anything, to hit me in the face and this sicknes isn't me, I pray to fall from grace The last thing I see is feeling And I'm telling you I'm a fake [x4] And I'm telling you I'm... [Chorus] Comment! (3) | Recommend! Comment! (1) | Recommend!  Okay, honestly... that is for my mom ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I really wish that she'd just back off and let me live my life how I want to live it, and be with who I wanna be with. I know that even tho she doesn't want me to be w/ Jimmy, but that's not stopping me. Just like how I've never truely wanted her to be w/ James... but if she's happy then I'm not gonna say shit about it. I think she should do the same. She should see how happy I am w/ him and just being around him and she should shut up about it and let me be happy. But I can't say that to her cause that would mean me admitting that I've been going behind her back this entire time just to be with him no matter what she says. She'd also probably lose all of the very little trust she still has in me. So I guess that, for now, I stick to not telling her anything about him and I, and that I continue to go behind her back; even tho I actually don't want to. I kinda do want her in on my life, and for her to know what's going on... but as long as she's trying to control me like this that's not possible.  And call me a freak or w/e, but I follow that. Also... something to keep in mind: Real love stories don't have happy endings. Rough times? Yes. Times when there's no possible way that anything could uset your relationship? Yes. But a happy ending? No. Because real love stories never end. Yeah, they never end... just like that circle. That circle and that story will go on for an infinite amount of time. Okay, anywho. Now about today.  You can only imagine. Jimmy and I saw eachother on-an-off all day for a while. He spent a lot of time going from his house to here, back to his house, back here. After a bit tho he'd left to go back to his house and I was in my room ~ he came and knocked on my window... so I went outside. Only for a minute or so though, cause it was like... 2:15 and mom was on her way home. About 3 - 3:30ish I went over to Kittie's house to hang out w/ her and he came over just after I'd left him at the park. We hung out at Kittie's house for a bit ~ she wasn't home so we jumped over her porch wall and "hid" there. Then he followed me over to Steph's house. (lol) I think he might've been scared w/ how we were acting  . Jacob was there too & we (Jacob, Steph, and I ~ Jimmy'd gone home) went to the park and played volleyball for a bit. He came over right when I was about to leave. But oh well. Best part of all of it was when we'd gotten back into the complex. He pulled me into the mailbox area and we were in there for 5 or so minutes. Neither of us wanted to go... but hey, there's always tomorrow ^.^! Okay, well I'm gonna go... this is probably really long now. Goodnight. Love Monkey Comment! (0) | Recommend! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- On a different note ~ HE SO EFFING AWSOME!!!! I love spending time w/ Jimmy. And conversations between him, Steven, and me are the funniest ever. Very interesting too. And a lot of times there's two different conversations going on at once: the one between the three of us... and the one going on between me and him that no one ever manages to key in on ^.^ even tho the conversations between him and I are always the better ones. And now him and I are kinda being a bit more outward about our "relationship" (if you wanna call it that) when we're outside and around friends. But earlier, when I first saw him today, we managed to kiss in my house. (shut up... stop laughing! It's actually kinda a miracle for me cause I'm not supposed to do anything w/ him and I'm paranoid as fuck when we're outside so imagine how I was when it happened.) He'd come over to talk to James apparently and James asked him to do dishes. Well kinda halfway thru the dishes, I guess it was - I wasn't in the kitchen tho - he came outta the kitchen leand over the back of the couch, and kissed me. ^.^ I just smiled ~ lol I didn't know what else to do cause James would've seen me if I went into the kitchen, so I just stayed on the couch and watched tv. Ok, well I'm gonna go ~ I've got a bit of research and web surfing to do... cause I have a project due the day I get back from Spring Break. Love, Monkey Comment! (0) | Recommend! Pocket full of posies Ashes, ashes, we all fall down Ring around the rosies Pocket full of posies Ashes, ashes, we all fall down Nursery rhymes are said, verses in my head Into my childhood they're spoonfed Hidden violence revealed, darkness that seems real Look at the pages that cause all this evil One, two, buckle my shoe Three, four, shut the door Five, six, pick up sticks Seven, eight, lay them straight London bridges falling down, falling down, falling down London bridges falling down, my fair lady Nursery rhymes are said, verses in my head Into my childhood they're spoonfed Hidden violence revealed, darkness that seems real Look at the pages that cause all this evil Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone This old man came rolling home Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone . . . this old man came, Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Baa baa black sheep have you any wool) Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full) Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Baa baa black sheep have you any wool) Mary had a little lamb! (Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full) Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Baa baa black sheep have you any wool) Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full) Mary had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow! (Baa baa black sheep have you any wool) Mary had a little lamb! (Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full) Ring around the rosies Pocket full of posies Ashes, ashes, we all fall down Ring around the rosies Pocket full of posies Ashes, ashes, we all fall down Nursery rhymes are said, verses in my head Into my childhood they're spoonfed Hidden violence revealed, darkness that seems real Look at the pages that cause all this evil Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a bone Nick nack patty wack, give a dog a ! Comment! (2) | Recommend! I do believe that, For now, I am truely happy. I have no mask, For I've thrown it away, And never shall I Go into my trash. I am myself, And that I shall show you. And for you I have removed my mask. Since, Because of you, I feel safe, And I am happy and shame on me... I did a "bad" thing today. No... I don't mean playing poker at lunch like I always do. Actually it involves Jimmy; and Erik wanting to kill me. But oh well, I'm perfectly happy on that factor. Comment! (0) | Recommend! |
|
NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.649 seconds. |
|
| Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark | Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s |
| All content © Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com. | |