Weeeee... today marks the end of the numerous evaluations for the calender year! having stayed yesterday to finish up debrief slides and the external debrief today, everyone in the office was relieved and looking forward to wind down till next year.

honestly i think if without some low key period my unit will surely be empty by now.... even though im considered holding a staff rather than command/combat post, we go outfield more times compared to other units... pay somemore still get less than my peers.....zzzz....

i guess in any pressure cooker environement like this, what really makes a difference is the people around you... was really feeling quite miserable during the initial stages because didnt really know people and everyday was a mad rush for back to back exercises. But having friends inside really does help... example like last night where we stayed over to complete our powerpoint slides and supper at boon lay.. work sometimes can be fun even when we are the few dodos who are still in the office. And i believe these are the memories i will cherish when it's my time to leave.

although it may sound like my ord speech, it's not true. in fact i still have quite a long way to go. Next year will be an even busier year, though i cannot divulge too much, just to say there will be overseas. But why am i talking like this? haha maybe cos a bit of ord mood as there is some rumour that i might have an understudy coming kekekeke... i hope he's hardworking :p

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phew.... one more stage 1 and ill be done till next year!

even though the stage 1s are suppose and used to be kinda slack, i seem to find myself being put as anchoring umpire for more and more stuff... not sure whether it is lack of manpower or just because they want to arrow...

i used to anchor only my pet station, signals being my so called expertise... but for the past few evaluations, i also do infantry stuff and also end up as platoon umpire...

and you know what is the weirdest thing? im actually doing better at umpiring than the planning side im suppose to do... weird huh.. that means i suck at my original job scope and actually think i do better doing others job... my actual job scope besides that puny station is actually more back end stuff like preparation and settling logistics stuff like equipment and manpower.... i totally suck at it because.... i have no connections lol... warrants have tons of connection around but being a newbie, its quite hard to pull favours when people don't know you, and the only reason why they talk to me is because of rank, which isn't enough to 'make' things happen either. As for the umpiring side, it's actually more shag, very shag in fact... and end of the exercise still must do presentation slides, and present to boss with almost puurfect engrish or he'll unleash hell. But i sort of feel that there's more fun and camaderie amongst the fellow umpires (maybe cos suffering builds friendships better) and those presentations are quite fun also, almost being in poly.. but guess sadly im not qualified enough to be permanent umpire, even though i was posted there as one so had to swap...

Wisdom for today: dont give your logisticians a hard time, because its really not easy to please everyone ok... and dont piss them off either, else you eat combat rations everyday lol.

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Ive come to realise that i don't really understand love very much. textbook definitions and all, its still mightily confusing to try to apply it in our own context.

Love = treat the person nice, send them home, buy them presents and meals?

Love = hold hands, kissing?

Im not sure whether i have good role models in terms of having a proper relationship with another person.... sometimes i really feel that it is much simplier and fun to be single. It's only occasionally that the loneliness really sets in and just have to bear with it.

My office guys seem to be controlled by their wives one way or another, although im the sort that really needs to be taken care of, im not sure whether being controlled is what i really want...

expenses, time, choices being controlled?
you earn your pay but have to draw allowance from it with approval from your wife?
my boss year end bonus is already allocated to wife's new car...
it that's love, i think its pretty painful to live that way....

girls... can't live with them, can't live without them

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why do we do what we do, doing what we do?

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I woke up, looked around myself, took a good look at myself, realised ive been putting on a little weight. I was disappointed, i expected more....

Where's my superpowers?!?!?!?

I thought i was going to finally uncover my special powers, grow wings, x-ray vision that kind of thing, unfortunately, that didn't quite materialise.

oh well, better luck next year.

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sometimes i really wonder, how come i always kanna as the mc when im so silly on stage. giving presentation is one thing, being mc kinda scary because everyone expects you to entertain them and be funny but i end up being too serious lol...

anyway, gonna become the mc for my unit's deepavali and hari raya celebration tomorrow, desperately doing some research on the festivals so as not to make a fool of myself and clearly not to unintentionally insult anyone's culture. work on my script kinda slow cos for every 3 lines i write, i probably have to find evidence in 4-5 other websites before i can trust it.

well, at least i get to skip spring cleaning tom kekeke, just when my area has been highlighted as major eyesore.. but it's not always my fault!!

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