Saturday. 6.24.06 11:16 pm
So today was pretty much a family day. My whole family and I spent the day at Mandalay for Elaine's birthday/grad bash. I was a loner most of the time. I swear I felt like everyone was at the beach celebrating something. So many familiar faces. Not too mention the sun hardly came out and all the little kids that wanted to swim couldn't because it was too cold.
I love little kids. I miss being one sometimes. I know I'm truly a kid at heart though. (= I'd like to think I'm great with kids. You can learn a lot from them even though some of them barely speak. At work, I'd always play with the little kids and keep them company so their parents can shop. Ha. Anyways...
It started getting super windy around 5, that's when the party ended and everyone went home. We stopped by Starbucks. (= White Chocolate Mocha Frappucino <3.. or that Cinnamon Dolce Frappucino. Oh it's love. Ha. When we got home my cousin came over with her baby and they just left not too long ago. I'm beat. /= I try to sleep early.
Tomorrow's plans.. church and stuff. Ha, I don't know. My room's a complete mess. I was in the process of cleaning it yesterday. I took a break and never finished and I don't intend to. I'm probably just gonna stuff all my junk somewhere till I decide to put it away. Hahah. My mom's gonna be pissed. Oh well!
I blogged two days in a row. Ha. It's been so long. (=
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NEVER TAKE FRIENDSHIP PERSONAL.
Friday. 6.23.06 11:09 pm
I miss blogging.. it helped me remember things I did last week or just the past in general. See what laziness does to you?
Why don't my "
friends" ever call me?! I swear I feel like they wouldn't even know if I was missing. Lame huh?
So it's like I have a certain group of friends that I like to hang out with. Yet, individually they all have another set of best friends and whatnot. I always just feel like I need that one BEST FRIEND or maybe not even a best friend, just that one person to click with and not a group of friends. I guess growing up I just wasn't used to hanging with or knowing a lot of people till I got to high school. I never had to decide WHO to call first because all I had was that one friend I would always turn to. So yeah, we all have to grow up sometime.. I just wish I had that again. I feel like my friends are just more preoccupied with their other (best) friends and that I'm more of a last resort. So I somehow feel left out in a way, but then not really.
For those who know me, personally. If you really think about it, I'm always the odd person out when it comes to you guys and your friends. Sure, some of them are my friends to, but not the type to hang out with on a daily basis. More like acquaintances, I'd like to say. I guess you guys wouldn't see it that way, but this is just my side/thoughts to it. I don't know, I'm never content with my life. I guess I'm just tired of putting in the effort. It takes TWO to make things work, in a relationship or FRIENDSHIP. I just don't have any effort left in me to try. I basically don't want to keep trying to strengthen/fix something that's just not going to last. It's pointless. So let's just leave things as is and see how everything works out even if they don't go all too well.
yours truly,
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