Man...you'd think I'd sleep on my free day, right? Wrong. I got up earlier than usual today with hopes of getting some things accomplished. I made it to CBoP, even had time to wander through Barnes and Noble before I realized I had 20 minutes to get the 10 blocks from Rittenhouse to Colette's office. Normally not an impossible feat, but today it was raining sideways. I thrust my new book into my backpack, as books and rain are not exactly BFF's, and ran...er briskly walked....to 8th and Spruce. I was late, but so was the Animas lady. For the next few hours I learned the ins and outs of my new appendage, the Animas 2020 insulin pump. Joy! It's going to take a little getting used to since I'm now wired, but it's not bad at all. After that I picked up my order at CBoP, which came out beautifully. Let me tell you, if I had the time I might get into scrapbooking. I do, however, hold a full time job and then some, so SOMETHING has be trusted to someone else. CBoP has a program that prints out templated scrapbook sheets, which is spectacular! I was very pleased with my results! From there I headed to the mall for a few things, and that's where I met up with Ryan so we could head to his mom's for a haircut. Shortly thereafter we met up with his cousin and decided it was a good idea to go rollerskating. Now, I haven't been skating in years...we're talking probably a decade or more since my feet have been inside rollerblades. We did rather well last weekend on the ice, so what the hell...rollerblades it is! We got there, realized there was only half an hour left, and decided to skate anyway. Hey, what harm can be done in half an hour? Aside from the lack of ability to glide I adjusted to wheels pretty well (we'll omit the part where I went to tighten the clasps on my right foot and rolled right off the bench I was sitting on...yeah, I fell before I even had the damned skates on!) I took a few laps before Ryan decided to be cute and affectionate, which would've been fine had I been fully back into the motions or had he not pushed off using my butt as a base, because in doing so he pushed my feet right out from underneath me. What resulted was a loud "thud" and my tail bone, back, and shoulder blades smacking the
hardwood floor like they'd been separated at birth. I hit, spasmed, and panicked. My body didn't know whether to cry, scream, or suck it up...but the latter wasn't really an option until my back stopped spasming and I stopped feeling the urge to vomit. Eventually I cried a tearless cry, screamed under my breath, and tried to get up as swarms of kids tried to offer me baggies of ice. It was then that I realized I was the old person in the room and probably did not belong in a roller blading rink to begin with. I tried to skate a little more, but the pain eventually overwhelmed any desire I had to roll to Billboard hits I've never heard, the second sign of the night I'm getting old, or at least need to invest in a radio.

So here I am..unable to sleep...still in as much pain as I was at 930...wondering how I'm making it through the holiday party tonight...Hurts to be horizontal or vertical...so I lean..hah...

I think theres a rumour about breakfast. OCB?

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We woke up an hour and a half from flight time yesterday morning...oops! After a hectic running we got there with a few minutes to spare, but there were no seats for us, so we decided breakfast at Denny's was a great idea. Not so much, but it was yummy until it made me sick. We did make the second plane, actually got to sit together, and finally we made it to Chicago! It was great to see Cat and the baby. We had dinner at a Mexican place near he apartment, which was yummy, then Ryan and I headed downtown for a while. We wandered for a while, took a few pictures, then Ryan decided we needed to go ice skating. Now, Ryan had never been ice skating, so this was an adventure! He did really well and looked cute flailing about on the ice. Hah. By the time we got home we were both pretty sore, but we really did have a LOT of fun. This morning we all headed downtown to wander about. Nicky was in incredibly high spirits, so it was a good day. He can say my name now, which is awesome. Every time I go out there I'm floored by how much he's learning and how fast he's growing. Every time I leave him I miss him dearly. I think we almost had Ryan convinced he wants to move to Chicago. Hah. We JUST made the flight home, and now we're back and ready to relax before the work week starts again. My week is only 4 days this week, but Friday and Saturday will both be extremely busy days. So there you have it. I'd write more, and this would've probably been better written (I feel like my writing is deplorable and a bit boring lately) but I've got little time or energy, and we've got movies to watch before we pass out. Gnight all!

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(his words not mine)

he's got a 4 days weekend (5 cuz we playes hookie) and what does he do? laundry and cooking so we have dinner for the next week (mmm homemade swedish meatballs and potato soup)...

man, what did i do to deserve that!?!

anywho..we spent new year's eve at ryan's uncle's making lots of loud noise. i've been in weird headspace for a few days, but i was able to jerk myself out of it for most of the night. i looked pretty cute too. ;) cold..but cute. it should be noted, however, that i would like a word or two of warning the next time i might find myself face to face with a skinned deer. all in all not a bad night. a little buzz, a couple bad games of pool, some couch cuddles, a kiss at midnight, a little craziness, hugs for too long from drunk people. yeah...happy new year!

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This year has been one of many changes..more than I imagined a year ago when we were sitting in the living room of the Lansdale apartment. This year I made and lost good friends, I moved, I returned to Southwest, I reconnected with old friends, and I met the man with whom I'll spend the rest of my life. Add in the fact that I've pursued a ton of new goals, lost some weight, gained some self esteem...I'd say 2007 was not such a bad trip. Yes, there were a lot of moments I wasn't sure I'd see 2008, or if I wanted to. There was the nightmarish move to Wissahickon, the car accident in June, and the loss of a few strong people in my life. I'd still say the good outweighs the bad, only if the end of it served as a jumping point to the next step. Even a bird needs a perch from which to push.

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so wow...it's been 2 months since i last updated...and what a holy terror of a 2 months it's been..let's see!

1. work has been kicking my ass and we're still $1000 behind because of a lot of ridiculous happenings. i'm ready to kill chad to sell his body parts for the money he's costing us. ryan's been helping where he can, but he's got his own back bills to pay before we can move in together in may. he's technically living with us now, and contributing more than ONE of the roomates is...but we've only got a few months to be ready for another moving experience.

2. thanksgiving was quiet, christmas was hectic. i worked for both, but we had an early christmas with the baby. i feel a little torn that he misses the baby so much when he's gone. i feel guilty that he's with me. i know i'm not the reason they're not together, but it's hard sometimes. i know once we have a different home we'll get him more often, but right now i know it kills ryan that we don't see him more. i framed him a couple pictures for christmas, and i know he appreciated it.

3. i'm going to chicago next weekend to see my godson!

4. my bunny had 2 trips to the hospital with what was finally diagnosed as a congenital heart condition. i worry for her a lot. i love her to death, and i don't know what i'd do if anything happened to her. shes my parallel, my guide, my support, and my therapy. shes my girl. we went to see her last night, and she looks a lot better. i feel bad for losing touch with her for almost a year, and i feel grateful that i'm getting a chance now to reconnect. she held me close and hugged me tight last night, and it felt like all was right in the world.

5. i get trained on my insulin pump on the 11th of january! i've been trying to get this approved for years, and finally it's happening! i'm so excited. :) i think this will be the big step in getting my numbers under control. i can't wait! i want to be healthy again!

6. my dad was here for a few days...well i went to surprise him in california for a day (i love havin flight privs!) for his birthday, then a week later we met in pittsburgh for a steelers and a penguins game, THEN he came here for a quick overnight since we couldn't find him anywhere to stay in Philly. I missed my dad SO much! It was great to see him so much in a couple weeks. Hopefully I make it out there again soon, maybe next time with boys in tow.

7. which brings me to my HUGE news..well huge but still kinda quiet...Ryan and I handfasted ourselves the other night. Eventually we will have a traditional social event wedding, but this was a private intimate bonding between us and the higher powers. to family and most friends he's still just boyfriend..no ring, no fiancee...but we're now bound spiritually and unconditionally...it's an amazing feeling. honestly, the decision came easier than i'd imagined. he sprung it on me in the middle of other rites, and i didn't really have any hesitation. saturday we spent absolutely giggly. heh. i'm really excited about this new step in our journey. a year and a day. then...who knows?

ok back to work...it's good to be back!

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I started my weekend early. My blood sugars wouldn't stabilize and I felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, so I took Wednesday off and tried to reorganize myself. Unfortunately, that was not to be. The day itself wasn't bad, and the night was pretty good. I auditioned for a band (who won't pick me up, but I had fun with it. I wasn't completely impressed by myself; I couldn't done a lot better, but I did alright.). We grabbed a couple movies (Death Proof and Planet Terror) to watch before sleep. Chris' girl was over, and I tried to make nice. I fell asleep about 5:30am. 7am I woke up outside, in my pajamas, in the wind and rain, crying. I don't know how I got out there, but the only reason I snapped out of it was Chris casually shouting from 10feet away, "you're gonna get sick." Now, I know he was occupied. I know he had company and whatever..but a pat on the shoulder and an "everything ok?" would've been greatly appreciated. Once I realized I was not in my warm bed as I'd expected to wake up I panicked for a minute before I dragged my half frozen self back inside. Luckily the bed was still warm and I was not a complete Jenncicle.

Thursday I slept off what I could manage, but I was still feeling a bit off when Friday morning rolled around and I had to drag myself up and out for a photo shoot with Evan. Still, it was a great shoot, and I've seen a couple of the images. They look awesome! Me stalking through an electric forest made of lamps!!! After the shoot I had my appointment with Dr. B which seemed to go pretty well. My tests all came back normal, which is good. She gave me a few instructions for my appointment today, and I was on my way to Ambler for Paul's Halloween party. For a while it didn't look like we were going to make it, but we did. That was when all Hell broke loose. Now, all I'd eaten that day was chicken nuggets wonton egg drop soup, and one reese's cup....all after 6pm. I had two drinks, and only one of them had any kind of potency to it. I don't really know what did it, but an hour after we got to the party I started to throw up. Ok, no big deal really. Been there done that. An hour later I'd changed my tune when I was still clutching the toilet like it had just proposed to me. Mike kept trying to dump water in me, and I just kept throwing it back up until someone actually needed the bathroom. It was then that I was scooped up and poured into Mike's car where I immediately fell asleep.

Despite all that I still managed to pick myself out of bed for my shoot with Meko Saturday morning. We didn't get too lost getting to Belle Meade, which is a surprise knowing how I navigate. The shoot itself went better than I possibly could've imagined. I'm VERY anxious to see those shots. So far I've seen two, and I love them both! On the way home we spotted a pumpkin patch, and while I really have no need for a pumpkin since I won't be home for Halloween, we still had to stop and look..and take pictures of course! Now, I hadn't really planned to still go to the meet and greet, but we did end up going. We even dressed Chad up and dragged him along. We got there, drank by the fire pit, I watched a few games of pool, and a few hours later we found ourselves at IHOP ordering more food than any of us could eat. By the time we got home I could barely keep my eyes open.

Yesterday we woke up close to noon. It was nice to be able to wake up somewhat naturally for once. No alarms, no deadlines. We headed out to Ryan's where I set him up a MySpace. Hah, welcome to conformity Ryan! We watched the Eagle's game and attempted to make dinner and brownies. No...we DID make dinner and brownies...the latter slightly after we scraped melted plastic out of the oven. Oops!

So then we get to this morning...I let Mowgli out and he disappears. Apparently the back gate is stuck open and no one told me. He's been missing for almost 2 hours, my hip hurts to severely to look for him anymore, and I have to go to my appointment at 1. I don't really know what to do. Wait and hope he comes back before he gets hit by a car or picked up somewhere? He doesn't have any tags on this collar. Please pray for his return? I miss him already.

I have to get goin to my appointment now...gods I hope this gets better.

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