I've mentioned, perhaps, half of the misery that's been going on with work and what Chad, Erica and myself have gone through there. We're the only ones that give half a damn. Erica's been thrown into whatever shifts they can get her to cover with her son. And they give Chad and I whatever they need coverage with whether it means 16 hours straight without any kind of break at all...let alone a lunch break...because he and I do not have families. But we do have lives that we are trying to attend to. And honestly..working this hard/for this many hours makes it difficult to get any ball rolling on the whole family thing. Hard to start a relationship when you're struggling to find the time to sleep appropriately.

I believe the last straw was thrown on Chad's camel's back last night. He called me to inform me that they shorted him atleast 7 hours last week. The payroll software shows an icon when a time in the payroll system differs from your actually punch-in/punch-out times. Every one of his day's times were changed. And what might be worse is the (please excuse the language but it is most appropriate) bitch that shows up when she wants to and gets her pick of days even though she wants only three days per week was given more than 40 hours for last week and she was scheduled only 4 days for 8 hours each. That would be 32 hours. However...she shows up sometime between 10:30-11 every night instead of 10 so she should have been down to MAYBE 28 hours. So she comes in when she feels like it...literally does nothing but ring up the occasional customer. Denying her responsibilities put forth by the long list of duties for which the third shift worker is responsible.

Erica went to the ER last night and called me and asked me to let Chad know that she couldn't work in the morning. I told him that our new store manager comes in at 6am and may be able to cover. I told him that if he doesn't feel well enough to work a double to tell them that he won't do it because they shorted him for 8 hours that he DID work last week. And we're also finding out that overtime pay still means nothing to us. We still can't make our payments and we just end up more depressed and miserable. I told him that if they mentioned bringing me in early...to just tell them that I will be there at 2pm. I always find it funny that we HAVE to be at work when we're scheduled...yet they can expect us to just stroll on in any time they call us in. Ladies and Gentlemen...we are MOST DEFINITELY not being paid to be on the clock 24/7.

It is time to move on to greener pastures! We do have a short long-term plan which I will happily discuss on here when I have time. I pondered out the problems of our salary/living expenses and have come to a huge conclusion which will, before too, too long, require some big changes.

But for now we shall begin to search for new jobs. It's just difficult because they change our schedules every week so it will be difficult to schedule an interview but hopefully we can do something like set up an appointment in the beginning of a week for a little later in the week. But it will be hard to schedule an appointment for a following week. But I am going to decline any calls to come in early or work when I'm not scheduled. The ensuing depression IS NOT in ANY WAY worth it.

We need something closer. Something that doesn't cost me betweem $80-100 per week for gas. Something that doesn't create a 12 hour work day for 8 hours of pay. And somewhere where our merits will be rewarded. The raise scale here sucks so badly because if two other people slack off and sales drop...they screwed it for you no matter how hard you worked. And right now..no matter how hard we work we still hear that sales are way too low. There's nothing we can do about it. I sell to every customer that actually is interested in buying food in the first place. And then I upsell items to everyone and help create a relationship between the customer and our store. That and keeping fresh food available is ALL I can do to affect our sales. And it's not enough apparently. I can't and won't work at a job where I cannot personally affect my raises to some extent. It's completely out of our hands.

And we must move on.
Stay tuned.

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I heard from my mom today! I had gotten a few calls from numbers I didn't know so I just let them leave messages. One was from my mom telling me that she was staying at a shelter but would be going to the hospital. She called me again later from another number but at the time I was getting my ass kicked thoroughly as I'd sold a ton of food tonight and I had to keep it coming. She told me that she was checked in at a clinic that's pretty well known all around my area..especially where I had come from. They do a lot of services but most of their accommodations are of the "no belts or shoelaces" type if you get what I mean.

This will hopefully help alleviate my biggest fear...that she'll just 'let go'. But they have counceling and a lot of support there. She gave me the number I need to call and ask for her and they give you a PIN that the patient gives you so that they know that you are, in fact, allowed/supposed to be able to talk with them. I was afraid that it was too late when I got off of work so I will call her in the morning and see how she is doing and to see if she has any idea how long she will be there. It may not be ideal but once we have the couch in here I would like to try to put her up for a little while or something so she has many less restrictions that she would at the shelter and she'd be surrounded by people that personally care for her. And I think she needs me around. Unfortunately my schedule sucks horribly to get around to other places that she might stay. It would atleast give her a place to stay until she could make other arrangements. And any other option would take atleast half of her disability but if she could just put some money in it could help us make some ends meet that just aren't connecting currently. I won't get too far ahead of myself because I haven't been able to discuss it with my roommates but it feels right to make her the offer. She's done so much for me over the years and I can't just leave her out there alone and at the mercy of people who 'care' just because she has to pay them an inordinate amount of money. I just gotta do something.

Aside from that...I am once again completely exhausted from work. The heat was even higher today..as was the humidity and that makes the CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) effects that much worse. I was excrutiatingly hot and uncomfortable in my room after work and I knew that I just had to put my AC unit it. I ended up not using the support that I had paid $30+tax for but I may end up using it but it seems to be in just fine how I have it. I will have to seal it better when I can get to the store and buy some sealing foam strips for it. But my room feels soooo much better and the fan is not actually doing me some good! Even with the fan on high I'd slept crappily due to the heat and humidity in the room. My one window faces a side of the house where the breezes outside do not go so it is so uncomfortable in here. As soon as Jenn can get an AC unit..which I will gladly pick up for her and install as well...we can all be more comfortable. Chad hasn't been too bad in his room with just his fan...but he can sleep in here when it is uncomfortable. We're all facing way too much shit when we're awake to sleep miserably. I think that this may help a bit with my fatigue problems. Not a whole lot. But atleast when I am sweating nearly to death and getting my ass kicked at work I can look forward to more comfort at home.

I am off all day today due to our show that we're playing. We greatly appreciate the well wishes as far as the show goes. I know that I will be indefinitely exhausted after the show. But then I should have only two more days of work on Thursday and Friday before I can relax more on Saturday. There will be stuff to do around the apartment to get it closer to arranged but I will take every second to relax that I can. The Fall can't come soon enough...temperature wise.

I found out today that I should be cleared for a quarter raise. Pardon my language but FUCK that. I've worked way too hard doing three people's jobs and working two people's hours to keep the store running with everything that's gone on there. And the raise will put me only up to what I should be earning as the Safety Manager. The problem is that raises are not merit based as I had been lead to believe all along. Paul and Charlotte thanked me for my hard, hard work all these months and said that I should get a really good raise from it. Wrong. Unfortunately raises are not merit based...they are sales based. And not my personal sales..but the sales for the store which are below where they should be. Chad and I had prayed that they'd realized that without our hard work (and that of two other employees) the store wouldn't be running at all. And what do we get from it? Nothing. Nothing at all. Apparently they could have given me only a ten cent raise. Fuck that too! You hear me? Fuck you corporation. To have no energy to get stuff done outside of work and still not be able to pay for anything that we need to..just isn't worth it. And it was meant to be a job of convenience that would allow us to get off of work with notice when we need to for shows. But more and more hours are dumped upon us and our schedules are more eratic and unknown than any other job that I can think of. We basically on call 24-7. Asked to work doubles...only 2 hours before our shift starts or right as our shift starts. Trust me...our overtime pay just doesn't cut it.

I am most definitely going to be seeking something else. And if I put up with the stresses and pressures that I do with this current job, you can sure as hell bet that I will be appropriately compensated for it.

Well that's about it for now. Gotta eat something cuz I am starved and then sleep because I've got a lot to do tomorrow. But we hope to have video (and will have a ton of pictures) to post sometime around the weekend that we'll love to share with you. Wish us luck please. Thank you. And as soon as I feel that I can properly read all of your entries and comment without my mind being overly tainted with exhaustion I will most definitely return the favor. We've had to give up way too much important stuff just for the company to gain. No more whipping boys.

Goodnight my fine friends. You are most definitely all very, very important to me and help me through these tough times.

Much love.

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