Okay, I know I said I'd explain later so here's what happened:

Gary called me asking me what had happened to Steve's set of store keys. I was not aware that I needed to know their whereabouts, and considering he's been opening and closing {both of which require keys} I thought he had them in his possession. But alas, not the case.

Apparently on Sunday {5 days ago} Tori came in and she supposedly told me that she was leaving Steve's keys on the desk and that I needed to put them in the safe. Well, I remember Tori coming in, but I don't remember her telling me anything about keys.

So the fact that the keys were missing was somehow now my fault cuz that's what Tori was saying. If they weren't found, the store would have to be rekeyed {for the 3rd time} and someone would have to pay $200 to have it done. Since I was the manager on Sunday and this supposedly happened on my shift, I was gonna be the one having to pay for it.

That upset me quite a bit, cuz I don't even have a whole ton of money to be buying food let alone paying $200 to have a restaurant rekeyed.

Luckily, I found the keys. They were in the safe, but not the right part of the safe. This got me off the hook. This made the night go by easier, but not better.

So that's what happened. The fact that I didn't wake up in the best mood didn't help matters any when Gary called and this all started happening.

I'm tired so I'm off to bed.

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So, why is it when everything seems to be looking up, something happens to just shatter it? Its like a never ending cycle. Something good happens and then something even worse than the last bad thing that happened happens. Why?

Is it just cuz this is life's way of testing us? Does it all happen for a reason? Or do I seem to just attract the bad scenarios like a magent attracts metal?

I'm not gonna say I can't win, cuz in some cases I do, but I seem to be fighting a never-ending battle.

Fuck. How am I going to get myself out of this situation?

I'll explain later.

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~* I appologize ahead of time for my use of foul language *~

I HATE the goddamn cable company right now. Apparently there's an outage in my area, which is why I'm unable to use my cable modem right now. {I'm using the wireless connection on my laptop right now}

The thing that's pissing me off the most is the fact that when I called my cable company, I pressed 1 for ENGLISH. When I finally talked to a person, I could hardly understand him cuz he barely spoke ENGLISH! When I press the fucking ENGLISH button I expect to talk to someone who FUCKING SPEAKS THE GODDAMN LANGUAGE!!!

FUCK!

It took him 45 minutes to figure out that its not my own personal modem or computer; that it was an outage in the area. Part of the fucking problem was the fact that I couldn't understand the guy. I would have asked for someone else to talk to, but I was just getting too pissed. I wasn't focusing properly.

I don't even know what to say anymore. I'm about ten minutes away from either being happy or being even more pissed. I was told to check my connection again at 8:30, which is in ten minutes.

Fuck.

EDIT:
My modem is working again. I'm not happy, but I'm less pissed. Its gonna take me a while to get over talking to the non-English speaking guy that I was routed to when I pushed the English button.

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Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

... in a strange, sad, funny, weird, disgusting way {I couldn't decide which word was best}
this reminds me of Gary's nosebleed.

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I always seem to be bored when I write under this name. But then again, I'm usually 93% of the time pretty damn bored.

Anywho, I want to call Stuart and see if he wants to hang out tonight, but I'm pretty sure he'll say no. Though there is a part of me that thinks he'll say yes. That's probably also the same part of me that feels there's still a chance with him. I almost just text messaged him proclaiming how bored I am and asking what he was up to. I almost hit 'send', but I closed the phone before I sent it.

Grr! I wish this was easier. I really like this guy and I wish there was a way to find out how he feels about me without being forward and without having to have someone else find out for me. This shit is too complicated. Now I understand why I was working so hard on trying not to like any one. And why I was so happy that I was doing well with it.

Damnit.

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Its ten after one in the morning, and guess what? I'm still up. Normally I'd be laying down right now so that I'll have gotten enough sleep for tomorrow's work day, but I don't go in until later in the evening. So I'm still up.

Anywho, I sent Stuart a text when I got up this morning appologizing for the way I acted on Sunday. I never got a response back. But it was still fairly early in the morning and he was probably either at work or in class and couldn't respond. I'm not too bothered by it. I just have to wait and see what happens. Like my mom keeps telling me, if its meant to happen, it will. I just need to be patient.

That's my problem right there. I'm not a patient person. I never have been. I've always had a lack of patience, and when I'm pissed, it almost completely disappears. I'm not pissed though, so I still have some patience in me. I just don't want to be waiting a whole long ass time before I find out if he really does feel something towards me. Ugh.

Life is so dramatic its insane. Its all kinds of craziness. Whatever. Life is how we make it combined with the hands we're dealt. All we can do is make the most of it while we all still have the chance.

Damn, I'm so bored, I'm out of stuff to say. I guess I can always just lay down and hope for sleep. Maybe tonight I'll dream. Something I haven't done in quite a few nights.

G'nite NuTang.

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