can i die now? please?!?! i jus don't wannna live anymore. i've lied to to many of my friendz, they don't kno the real me. and i don't want them to, but more people are slowly finding out. i've broken a promise twice and guilt is building up inside of me. poetry is one way of expressing myself. and i've been working on my poems.......
Unfortunatly, still alive
all I ask for is to die
I don't care how it takes me
just someone stop my suffering, please?!
I crave for the burning pain
the blood from my arm, let it rain
but the my love is all the happiness in my life
because of him me , i cannot sacrifice
I haven't solved my problems very well
and for that im scared of going to hell
im trying to forget my suicide and rath
trying to start new and walk down the right path
my love has shown me i have a reason to live
and that my lifes not a joke, and i have something to give
almost every day, i feel like i'm going to give up
but the one thing that has kept me going, is love
~-~-~If your reading thiz Mike, i jus want u to kno I Love You

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watching: Mad T.V ~
listening to: 102 jams ~
mood: Tired and bored ~


Midnight here. Thiz is my first enrty and im new to all of this everything seems a lil confusing but i'll get it eventually. lol Today was straight. 1st block to day waz very emassasing!! (don't ask) im sitting here watching mad T.V. right now and its funni. but I've been off deep in thought and it hasn't been very pretty. My mind is racing through memorys. my mind is haunts me as it replays things i have done in the past. I'm also thinking of my one tru love and its getting my mind on happier thoughts. however, i cannot escape from that stupid dream! its another thing that keeps playing over and over in my mind. anywaz... wednesday night church is soon. Church will probably give me a good reason to live. lol today I also found out my best friend has done something that waz a lil shocking. But im trying to put what i've done in the past away and start new. My boyfriend has givin me a different point of view of myself and im trying to change bcuz of him. but i've found its hard to. i've broken a promise once and i don't think he knows about it. and i don't want him to know, but i know hes going to find out eventually. Time is running short. church is starting soon. ~Till Another Time~

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