Kahne_Earnhardt_Fan
Age. 33
Gender. Female Ethnicity. Redneck
Location Spokane, WA School.
» More info.
NASCAR Articles and Other Assorted Writings
| Tuesday. 4.18.06 12:12 am OK... we get rid of the piece of shit roommate.... my boyfriend is moving in... so why all of a sudden does my life seem more complicated??? It should be easier... but it's not and i so totally hate that fact. I just feel so much more pressure to be perfect... to sort of take on a more hands on sort of approach to things.. and i'm more comfortable lurking int he background. It's not that i'm unhappy... or depressed or anything... I guess it's just stress.. i'm completely exhausted..all the time... and i don't know how to fix it... *sigh
In Other News
I got my website done!!! To see it... click here Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Rate! The best classic rock on the planet!! IRock109!! Chat, Music and Friends!!! Click Here for more information on how to listen and chat!!! Friday. 4.14.06 9:13 pm mood: EGG-stremely tired
listening to: Type O N-EGG-ative
Ok... That's it... i have been officially traumatized by the Easter Bunny!!! I'm sitting in my room with my best friend's daughter... minding my own business.. and i hear a loud pop... Well.. with circumstances the way they are with a certain person who shall remain nameless...i thought i should go check it out. So... I'm down in the kitchen looking around... and KABOOOOOOOOOOOOM another loud pop right behind me... so.. like a good paranoid soul... i dived behind the fridge... Another KABOOOOOOM... this time.. i saw what it was... the water had boiled out of the pot of eggs being hard boiled by my roommate for an Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow .. Damn that Easter Bunny!!!!! Needless to say i had to reach across the pan of hard boiled grenades to turn the stove off... not fun... All in all there was no injury, no fire and just one set of frazzled nerves..
MORAL OF THE STORY- Easter is full of EGG-Citement... especially when the hard boiled eggrenades run outta water!! They tend to EGG-splode!!! Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Rate! The best classic rock on the planet!! IRock109!! Chat, Music and Friends!!! Click
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I Have never Seen Anything like this in my life, I don't know what It is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son..."Go get your Mother."
A Catholic priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25
years in the parish.
A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen
to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He
was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while
they waited.
"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I
heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The
very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen
a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie
his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled
from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal
drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were
not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good
and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of
apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the
presentation and gave his talk.
"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," said the
politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to
him in confession."
Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE!
A blonde is out on the golf course for her very first time, and she's having great difficulty. Every shot either slices or hooks, and she can't seem to get any shots that come close to landing on the fairway. Golf pro happens to walk by and sees the blonde struggling.
As she gets more and more frustrated, he walks up to her and says, "Excuse me, ma'am, but I think I can help you with that."
"You can?" says the blonde, tears beginning to well up in her eyes.
"Sure I can. Don't you worry about a thing," comforts the golf pro. "Here, I'll show you."
With that, he reaches his arms around her and grabs the club, his hands on top of hers.
"You hold the club like this," he instructs. "Now, it might make a little easier for you, if you think of holding it like you hold your boyfriend's… uh…male member."
"Oooh," replies the blonde, the light bulb going off in her head. She looks the golf pro straight in the eyes, smiles, grips the club, and WHACK! She hits the ball three hundred and fifty yards down the fairway.
"Wow, that was fantastic! Arnold Palmer can't even hit it like that! That was incredible! Now try it again," he says, "but this time, take the club out of your mouth."
Dear Tide:
I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! I have used it all
through my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month
ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and
uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally
started becoming a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on
my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but
it just would not come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I
purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my
surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains
came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA
tests on my blouse were negative. Then my attorney called and said that I
would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder
suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
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