-.-
he called it off
he said that he wasnt being a good bf
and that im too good for him
he said he was srry for not doing it in persone cuz he couldnt find me
so i said at least you could have waited until you did find me
and i also said "you didnt even talk to me about our problems and you avoided me"
and he said "yah thats y im not good enough and i havent been a good bf"
so i said "ok i get it. im sorry for being such an ass sometimes. and i mean it. not being sarcastic"
and he says" its okay your sarcasm is lovely. so i hope we can still be friends"
then i say"of course. we were friends before so it should be okay"
i miss him even if its only been an hour -.-
but i guess its okay. i didnt even cry. just tears...nothing big.
but i still like him...and i told him that. he understands.
idk....but im ok. just not great at the moment. but i will be....i hope -.-


i couldnt sleep last night. too much on my mind about the breakup.

i hate being single. i thought i would handle it better...but no

i havent cried. but the feeling in my tummy wont go away. -.-

im still hurting

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i said i was sorry
i dont know what he will say tho -.-

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i think yOu lOve me
dOn't be afraid tO shOw me
i lOve yOu tOO =\

fOoTbALL game tOnight! VARSiTY!!!!! wOoT wOoT!

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babe and i gOt intO a FiGHT. wtf u know? i'm all sad now. if anyOne's listening...nows the time i need ur help =[

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so yah we all mad FiNALS but no one placed but GROUP DRAMA! (Erin, Afsatu, Marlon)

but its kool! at least we all made finals boooyyaaahhh! hahahaha lunch was fun...dancing and gettin' down and dirty and all that! hahahaha man! everyone was like "dayum jin...didn't kno u can get down dritay like dat!". yeah i showed yoo!

denny's was awesome! when Afsatu accidentally ordered 6 milkshakes! or when erin meant banana split and asked for a sunday! hahahah! that was soooo funny....and jasmine kept making fun of me...afsatu found out my love for "A". hahaha

our judges gave us really good scores so thanx to my group mucho granda Benny, Rosa, Frshta! we kicked acting asses! and i have to admit our competition was good! they were good! that one hot guy who played "Spade Diamond!" whhhhoooooo!

and now everyone is close to eachother...each and every single one of us! and i feel really good to be a part of a company like that where we stand for eachother and really represent as a team and as friends! like Stevie said...the way we all bonded made us close like never before. people that i never ever talked to have now become my bestest friends! i love you kids! thanx for the help and support and congrats for finals!

i know no matter what we all had fun. even in the sharing circle today! it was totally awesome u know? ugh and i got my effin flu shot today and it hurts like a bitch! and i got in another arguement with parental units. whatever their fault! dont care about me....what makes u think imma care about u?

soooo yah what else to say? that PVA 9: My new friends:
gotta love new best friends: Jasmine, Afsatu, Adrianne, Erin, Stevie, Vincent, Benny, Rosa, Marvel, Erica, Sarah, Chelsea aka Chels, Julia, Jade, Alyssa, Danielle, Rachel, Jade,and Marlon!

You kids rock my world now! thanx so much for brightening it up unexpectedly and unasked for. I want us to stay thins way =]

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tOmOrrOw is Our shOwcase!!!
i can't wait! good luck everyone!

the cOmes COMPETiTiON on SATURDAY fOo!

omg yahhh

babe...u better come see me cuz imma be sad if u don't get to watch me!
oh and speaking of YOU...its great at least just getting to see you everyday and alot just to say hi to you and give u my hug <3

ily...

so yeah i can't wait...dont be nervOuse! be EXCiTED!

omg me and my parents are singing HOMEWARD BOUND for church anniversary as a TRiO!

and i talked to cashews/stick figure afterschool today. just us alone. i mean i guess she isnt that bad. i never wanted to hate her. she can be okay. its just the way she is when shes NOT talking to me or around everyone else...she seems so "i'm badass type". i've been saying over and over again. but i guess she's okay

and sometimes i feel messed up because she doesnt hate me and she thinks were friends and i talk crap behind her back all the time....but i have reasons why i do that. but she's been kool around me with me. so thats the only thing that makes me feel bad...you know?

so yah thats all i gotta let out.

ttyl! ^_^

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this week is gOing by Okay =]
i mean yesterday babe and i hung Out and i gOt tO tell him some Of the things that have been bOthering me.
then today we didn't really talk but i still haw him and said hi to eachother!
sO yeah....imma gO trick or treating later with mari and sarah! yaaay sarah! its her first time trick or treating ^_^
but that kOOl thats y me and MARi are here =]
sO yah i dOn't have much to cOmplain abOut tOday cuz u know im happy and all =]

Thank You So Much Lord ^_^

but i am a little worried about DTASC! i mean sOme (i wont mention names) didn't narrow down their lined and its getting me frustrated!
i mean performance is tomorrow night and we dont have much practice during class time and yeah...
im excited and everything but i'm verry WORRiED iNDEED! i'm afraid if we get up there we'll crack and make a fOOl of ourselves! sO i'm just gOnna PRAY for hOpe and cOurage for the whole grOup and the whole CLASS! =]

ugh and then biOlOgy. i turned in sO much incomplete work assignments! i just hOpe i did okay on the test today because report cards gOnna be mailed home this time and i can't afford to get a C!!!!!! so yeah

well thats all i have for now. im gonna trick or treat sOOn ^_^

ttyl

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i'm tired of feeling like this. like i can't be myself for the stupidest reasons. it's tearing me apart.

i don't mean to be emo but what am i supposed to do about it? how is passing through gonna help me. how is crying or feeling like crap gonna help me.

theres no physical or mental way to fix this. theres no way out at all. am i supposed to sit here while the whoile world continues to progress making me feel this way?

name a choice. and if u do....it's not gonna work.

i'm not being negative i'm being logical.

i'm massivley unhappy. how else can i put it? what do i do without having anything to do about it?

that's exactly what i mean.

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