Having a great day so far... Got my Manda back... Damn I've missed her... And everything has just been going great.

I'm almost done with my English project... which is good cuz I was stressed that I wasn't gonna get it done.

Omg yesterday me and Chelle and Adam were in 149... and I took Adam's pencil and threw it so it went down Michelles shirt. Well she got it out and i put it up to Adam's mouth and I was like.. LICK IT! haha i thought chelle was gunna piss her pants... its was so damn funny... Then I took her pig eraser pencil thingy and put it down his shirt.. and i pushed it down and tryed to get michelle to get it and he pulled it out and i was like.... Adam! You're supposed to let michelle get it. God you suck at being a guy... Chelle started crying she was laughing so hard.. it was just priceless.

Last Night, Cornz got her friend Mike to talk to me... He was being so sweet... it was great. I don't think there was one point during that conversation when I was sad... He actually took my mind off everything. It was just great to have someone to talk to.

Can't wait til November 19th... I'm gunna make Phil come get me so I can go watch Dan play bass for his first real gig... I can't wait.. I love those boys! They're just so great... haha

Ok this morning I wrote a poem... so I'm gunna put it on here cuz I like it...


Life is too short
To spend it pleasing other people
You've gotta live for yourself
Even if you have to push and pull
There's just too much in life
To live it on the safe street
You've gotta live a little
Walk on the forbidden concrete
Never let anyone
Tell you that you're wrong
Never let them quiet you
When you wanna sing your song
You'd better live it up now
Cuz life goes by too fast
Before I have a future
I wanna make sure I have a past


Ok well that's all for now... I think I'm gunna go see if Mike emailed me :-D

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Ok so yeah... me and shawn broke up... kinda my fault... but :-/ I dunno.. theres nothing I can do about it no it's too late... so... yeah... I really don't feel like talking about it... or writing about it so... Im gunna go...

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I miss my Manda so much... :-( It sucks not having her around... damn teachers... I should get kicked out with her.. haha... sure it wouldnt be too hard....

Ok today was a bad day... I think what everyone didnt expect to happen the first time... is happening again... God I hate this... There's no one in the world who could hurt me more right now then this person... :-( and i let them do it... i set myself up for it... why do i have to be so... nice :-( It just seems like everything everyone warned me about is coming true... I don't know who to trust anymore...

Angel - Thanx so much for being there for me today... You have no idea how much you mean to me.... You're one of the best friends I've ever had... and I trust you with my life... I love you!

I just give up... :-(

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Levon and Ames... Wow... I do not know what I would do without you two.. and Levon... I don't know what I'm gunna do without you when you go.. I really think I should go with you... kidnap me... remember :-D.... And Ames... you have ALWAYS been there... even when we were just little squirts... when i'd get mouthy with the teacher and she'd write me up and you'd go up and steal the paper off her desk and eat it so I wouldnt get in trouble... Now that's a true friend... risking getting ink poisoning to save my arse... haha once again.. you two are a huge part of my life and I just hope that I don't lose either of you... Muah! :-*



AMY is a sexy bitch..
(Amy wrote that )

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i woke up this morning with this feeling i wish would disappear...i wanna be carried away, but i know something is coming, and i dont know what it is...but i'm afraid...my time is coming, i wont find my way out of this hole...it feels like today, is my end, today is my meeting with all that i am...all that i'm missin, all that im wishin, doesnt exist, but in my mind she'll be there for all time...

will this storm ever break, the pressure of my heart breaking, wont it ever just go away...it feels like today is my end, today is my meeting with all that i am...it feels like today is my end..." <~ From My Big Old Gay Loser's (anthony) info. I like i tho... cuz in a way it explains how i've been feeling the past few days and... i dunno it just made me feel a little better when I read it...

Anyway... today... Well... it was an okay day i guess... pretty normal... This morning in French we were supposed to be doing a worksheet and im like "I don't wanna do this!" and I thought i thought it.. i didn't mean to say it out loud... but brittney was like too bad do it anyway.. I was like... did everyone hear that =-O... that was supposed to be in my head... haha I felt really dumb...but accourding to my mom I am stupid and dumb.. so it makes sense :-\ then i was sittin on the floor and brittney hannah and me were studying they were in chairs... anyway... i untied brittneys shoe and shes like dont tie my shoes together and im like "Oh, I'm not..." O:-) I tied her shoe to the chair pole... and when she went to get up it yanked and shes like uuuuuh... im like MUAHAHAHAHA! it was so funny tho.. anyway... then at lunch i went and sat with Bry and Chuckie... and i was trying to get brys envelope so i could read the papers in it and hes like noooo and i was yanking and he let go and i smacked tyler in the face.. I was like =-O HAHAHA! Im soorrrrry! I felt bad... but it was just so funny...

To My Manda.... I'm sorry for today babe... That was so uncalled for and totally gay... He can say whatever he wants to us but if we say something back... even just jokingly and we have to go to the office... its fricken gay... I hate that guy... he can slap me across the face and all that but you cant even write a poem that was for fun.. Uhh... he better be prepared for hell from us til the end of the quarter cuz were going balls out now ;-) haha

Phil - You are just so awesome... haha don't know who I'd act dumb with if I didn't have you... Much love :-P

Anywho... I was talking to Pasko last night... And I fricken love that kid.. he always makes me feel so much better when I talk to him.. Cuz he actually makes me feel important... like he cares... it just feels good to know that I have someone to go to that isnt a girl... Thanx Deary! :-D muah!

Lesson of the day.... The higher you rank... The more important you think you are... and the more blind you are to what an asshole you are and how much people hate you!
^gee wonder what that could be about... Manda ;-)

Forgiveness is something that is you must have to be in love...

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