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Blah
W day
My lips caress your cheek softly... they're wet.. you've allowed those traitorous thoughts to take over your body.. You've let them hurt you, my darling.. My soft whispers of love and amusement course through your veins and a soft laugh escapes your mouth, erasing those waterfalls of pain... My soft caresses faintly brushes your skin and again I kiss you, melting my lips into yours to caress that beautiful pink flesh.. You blush, my darling.. my beautiful, beautiful darling.. We lay back and dance, your body pressed against mine, the ring on your finger glinting in the firelight.. We are beautiful.

Aww, isn't it sweet?

Re-Action to the last post-
Liz- Hell hath no fury like a pissed off woman. She was livid! Number 9 wasn't true but the rest was!
Tony- Creeped out. COWARD!
Lara- Amused

^^;;; I tend to annoy people, don't I?

My Schedule For This Summah! -
11th June.. I dunno, some time in Aug.- ANNA THE COOLIO SISTERS COMING!!
20th-24th June- Going Up To Mass. I might see Tony but I HIGHLY doubt he wants to see meh ^^ He doesn't like meh, it's really obvious ^^
1-28 July- Going to England and Europe. w00t w00t for the grandfather!
30-1 Aug- Otakon!
31st of July- ? - Chiharu comes! She's meh family's coolio Japanese friend. We hosted her once as an exchange student and she's kept in touch with meh mum since then.
5th Aug- ? - Meh dads taking us on a 'mystery trip' >.< It's his and meh mums 25th anniversary or something and they're bringing meh and meh sister??!?!?! What the hell.
Aug 30/Sept 1- School starts >.<

Anyway, I got my cell back from Liz ( 443 - 520 - 4916 ) So gimme a call.

Joker Love ^_~<3 - Lemme A Message





I was counting the stars, naming each with a reason of why I love you.. It was all going great- until I ran out of stars.

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Pulls Her Head Back As She Screams...
Sunday
She doesn't own a dress, her hair is always a mess
If you catch her stealin, she won't confess
She's beautiful
She never compromises, loves babies and surprises
Wears hi-heels when she exercises
Ain't that beautiful

Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen

Her daddy wrestles alligators, Mama works on carburetors
Her brother is a fine mediator for the President
Well here she is again on the phone
Just like me hates to be alone
We just like to sit at home, and rip on the President
Meet Virginia

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna live this life

She only drinks coffee at Midnight, when the moment is not
right, her timing is quite-unusual
you see her confidence is tragic, but her intuition magic
and the shape of her body - unusual
Meet Virginia-I can't wait to
Meet Virginia

Meet Virginia
Well she wants to be the Queen
Then she thinks about her scene
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna be the queen

Well she wants to live her life
Then she thinks about her life
Pulls her hair back as she screams
I don't really wanna live this life

Yeah...

I cant wait to...

Meet Virginia...




-groans- Ohhh man, I was at Liz's last night, with Erin. We were REALLY hyper and shit, then.. something happened and Erin was crying and LIz and her mom were yelling at each other and ugh, it sucked... >.<. But it was fun after that, cuz I had to play peace keeper and we watched ROTK.


Before that though, Liz was being scary O.O. She was going ON and ON about Tony! She's freakily obsessed! See The Following

Liz- Tony is so hot!
Meh- -flips through magazine- Uh huh.. ohh, that purse is cute.
Erin- Yeah, it is!
Liz- Tony is so nice!
Meh- Mm hm, of course dear, that's n-Ohhh, that's awesome.
Liz- Tony is so naive!
Erin- Oh, nice underwear!
Meh- Aww, bunnies!
Liz- Tony is so cool!
Meh- Mmm... nice shoes, look a bit tight though..
Liz- TONY'S ONLINE!!
Meh and Erin- SHUT UP! >. Liz- Let's get on cam!
-All get on cam-
Liz- I have to look beautiful for Tony!!!
Meh- -glances at Erin-
Erin- -glances at Meh-
Meh and Erin- -tackle Liz-
Liz- NUUUU! MY TONY!!


^^ Funny thing is, he barely notices she exists.

Liz is obsessed with Tony.
Tony likes Lara lots.
Lara is indifferent.

And I just watch and laugh, and laugh and laugh.

And choke on my popcorn.

Anyway.

Ways Liz Is Obsessed-
1.She stares at his pictures
2.She has PRINTED all his pictures
3.She has his address memorized
4.She tried to kill me cuz I might see him when I visit Mt. Holyoke -.- (ALL GIRL SCHOOLS SUCK BITCHES!)
5.She has his birthdate memorized (June 10th or something)
6.She screams in joy when he gets on
7.She wanted to call him (WITH MY CELLPHONE! >. 8.She has mental fantasies about him (Hey, I have fantasies about Torrey, so I can't talk :-p)
9.She ALMOST tried to get into YuGiOh, just to be like him
10.She talkes about him so much at Lunch that we hear her go "Well, Tony" and groan.

>.< I kid you not.

Aint no cure for the summer time blues

Days Since Torrey's been on- 5
Days Until Anna's Coming Home- 5!!
Days Until Schools Out- 9 (8 If You Count The Two HalfDays Together As One Day)
(This was KYLES idea!)
Times Kyle Has Fucked Corwin- 4
Times I've Missed Talking To Greg- Not Enough Space For The Number.

You Thought You Were There To Guide Me
You Were Only In My Way
You're Wrong If You Think I'll be
Just Like you!



Anyway, Joker Love and LEMME A MESSAGE!!

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We'll Survive One Day
Friday...
I refuse to cry.

I shouldn't cry.

I can't cry.

I won't cry...

I don't know how to cry...

Can I cry now that I'm done denying the tears running down my cheeks? 'Sides, I don't cry... My eyes just get red and puffy and I blow my nose alot...

This is so lame. I am so mad at myself and I'm taking it out on people I love.

I've screamed at Lara... and Tony.. and Kyle.. and I let go on Corwin.

Corwin- Hey!! ^^ What's up?
Meh- What the fuck do you want, you fucking gay piece of shit!?
Corwin- Yep, I'm gay ^^ Must you be so mean?
Meh- WOULD YOU FUCK OFF!?!? GO FUCK KYLE, you little SHIT! I fucking HATE YOU, AND YOUR DADS RIGHT! YOU DONT DESERVE TO LIVE!

Yep.. and I told Tony to make Lara give him head to shut her up. Why am I pushing people away?? I just want SOMEONE to love me.. and at the moment? My 'mother' is passed out on the couch, stoned drunk.. Surrounded by 18 empty beer bottles. There were 19 but she was straddling me and slammed my head into one and it broke. I really am hardheaded.. :-/

Oh damn... I was supposed to go to guidance because of Mary today. She put her blood in a vial and gave it to Sarah, who promtly drank it. Vampire... SO I dragged her up to the G.C office to talk to Mrs. P (Cool lady) and she said she'd call us down 'round 1:30. Well, she didn't. And I was kinda mad. But then I realized (And this was a startling revolution, I nearly fell out of my seat) I can NOT solve things for myself. Wow... I JUST figured that out.

DeadWandererSoul: I figured it out.
ind3c3nt3xposure: what?
DeadWandererSoul: I figured out what I dislike most about you.
ind3c3nt3xposure: That I'm a hypocrit, that I refuse to see the good in my life, I screw to much, I'm a rude little bitch, I blow thing out of porportion, or all of the above?
DeadWandererSoul: None of the above.
ind3c3nt3xposure: Ohhh
ind3c3nt3xposure: SOmething I didn't think of..
ind3c3nt3xposure: mm
DeadWandererSoul: *winks* You're too fucking ungrateful.
ind3c3nt3xposure: I think that falls under 'refuses to see good in life'
DeadWandererSoul: That makes me sad. What I said specifically displeases me.
DeadWandererSoul: The rest will come if you're patient. Being ungrateful is just bad manners and a poor attitude.
ind3c3nt3xposure: Ohh, I'm DEFINATELY rude
ind3c3nt3xposure: definately
ind3c3nt3xposure: and yeah, I have a bad attitude because I am really really really sick of seeing my mom drunk a
ind3c3nt3xposure: and then she calls me the stupid bitch
ind3c3nt3xposure: and really? I dont care any more
DeadWandererSoul: That's a problem. You're not going to live with your mom forever. It's actually for a very small fraction of your life that you'll endure that.



I love you too, Tony dearest.



It's a pity he's right, isn't it? Ah well, life goes on, mother gets drunk, screams a bunch at me, calms down, goes to bed, wakes up, whines at my dad, does whatever, then gets drunk around 6 ish!

The fabulous life of my mother is SO beautiful, 'tisn't it.


Number Of Days Since Torrey's Been On Last - 3
Number Of Days I've Missed Him - 3
Number Of Days I've Wanted To Talk To Greg - Not enough space for the number
Number Of Days I've Been In A Bad Mood - 3

See connections?

Don't break my heart.

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Suicide
Argh, Day Before Friday
watching: My toe-nail polish dry
listening to: Radio. No Idea What The Song Is
mood: Piratin'




Hello boys and girls, todays lesson plan can be summed up into one word : Suicide And The Next Lesson : Sex

Yep you got it. Well, out of boredom in French class (We took an oral exam, what was I supposed to do, STUDY?!??!?! Come on, how unlike me would That be?!)

Ways we do Not kill ourselves-
Shotting - Come on, who wants to clean up after you? That would be wonderful, spending four hours scrubbing someones brains out of the corners. JUST the way I wanted to spend MY weekend, let me tell you.
Cutting - Another clean up thing. You gotta cut super deep and it takes a hell of a make-up to cover it up! No one wants to see you lying in your casket with half-sawed off wrists! Bleckisms
Poisonning (Namely, Drinking Bleach) - Whoo hoo, Auntie just drown in her own vomit from drinking Lye! w00t! >.< Angry Muffin.
Hanging - Nothing super wrong with this but not in the bathroom. Come on, your dad wanders in to take a piss and what does he find, his daughter/son swinging from the shower head?!?! Wow, great to sight to look at while holding yourself and pissing!
Drowning In Black Hair Dye - Poetic, but who wants to look at THAT in the casket?
Garreting - Another big bloody mess, and who wants to be the one sewing your head back on for the funeral? >.<
Jumping - ANOTHER bloody mess
Stabbing - See the above ^

THUS! We should not kill ourselves! (I know you're amazed and shocked, Lara and Tony, so drop dead <^> >.< <^>! ) We shall die naturally, die in a car accident, OR be murdered. Assisted suicide, no one swings.

-looks to see if there's a hanging smiley...- Not a hanging smiley, but it's the RABBIT! THE EVIL RABBIT! FROM MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!! -screams and bounces-

o.O Okay, I'm okay. ^^ ~sezzie~

Hey! Californication is on! Whoo! One of the two songs that I personally view as anti-pre-mar. The other being Avril Lavignes new song. -is stoned-

Californicate
I swear its every where now
It's everything thing

AngelOfHell0 : I luv u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^
RequiemForJokers : If I tell you to drop dead will you be offended?
AngelOfHell0 : Ur mean!! ;_;
RequiemForJokers : But you love me anyway :-p




Top 5 Sexually Tilted Lines from Disney


1. "Jaffar, get a grip! Good grip..." -- Aladdin
2. "It's a dinglehopper." -- The Little Mermaid
3. "Eat me." -- Alice in Wonderland
4. "Watch out, they spit." -- Aladdin
5. "You blow like my Grandma!" -- Pinocchio
<~~~ From Kyle

Help me, if you can
Just that this
Just this, is not the way I'm wired...

Lying to myself again
Suicidal episode
Think about it
Cutting life....

Self-Destruct
One bullet at a time...

Medicated Drama Queen
Such a perfect number
Nacasistic Drama Queen
Craving Fame, to be remember

Lying to my face again
Suicidal episode
Think about it
Cutting the lines...

What's the hurry
Everyone will have his day to die...


Blargh.

Let's see... Society says: Conform! Consume! OBEY! I say: KISS! MY! ASS!-Sir Wolfe(Aka Cliff) Stolen from Renee's profile...

Let's see, Renee, Kaiser, Dylan, Jet, Ashley, Richard, Kelly, Shanks, DarkSide, Darksides OTHER s/n, Dylan (number TWO!), Dunno his name, or hers, Dani, Anna, Rika, Pawel, Scotti Cums Lotti, Kelly, Ashley E. ,Gabe, Tyson, Morgan, Dunno who he/she is, Morgans other s/n

(Bold being those away. >.
I am SOO bored! My streaking Clan (Lara and Liz) are not online! Arrgghhh... -goes off to be a pirate-


Leave Me A Message. NOW, or I'm blowing up ye ship and stealin' yer booteh.










As Requested- MEH LUFF BRANDON! IN A NON-COMMITING, NON-ROMANTIC WAY!!

Request Your End Note Today ^^




And Lemme a message!

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<^>-.-<^>
<^>-.-<^>

Would you cry for me?
Yeah, would you cry for me?


FUCK YOU!

Yeah, I mean that.

When I pretend
Everything is what I want it to be
I look exactly
What you had wanted to see....

so I pretended up a person
Who was fitting in....


I'm lying in my way from you...
I want to be pushed aside
So let me go..
Let me take back my life
I'd rather be all alone
Anywhere on my own
The very worst part of you
The very worst part of you
Is me!


I hate Shawn. Yes, I mean that. Look, I'm fucking sick in the morning, puking up my guts, and when I slowly crawl in for the end of third period and all of fourth, I feel like shit. So I go outside, not in the mood to pick a fight with Padro, waiting for Locke. I see Shawn and say Hey. We get to talking and I ask what we did in French class. Conversation goes somethin' like that-

Shawn- We played Jeopardy. Oh, and I read your blog.. And so did most of the class...
Meh- Like who!?!?
Shawn- Kevin...
Meh- And?
Shawn- Robert...
Meh- And?
Shawn- Meg...
Meh- And?
Shawn- Jessica...

JESSICA OF ALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE SHITFACED WORLD!

-screams in a voice loud enough to make Helen Keller cringe-

Ohh, this is good.

According to Jessica, Meghan told her about fingering. (See two posts ago)

Ohhhh, wait until tomorrow. -giggles slowly-

‘Do you know why you’re sad’
Asked the doctor one more time
‘Without a reason, you’re going mad’
And this is just a game to play

Queen to L4,
Knight to L6
All your mental illnesses
One little bullet will fix

Ignore the people, they aren’t there
They’re just figments, in the air
It’s not there, you shouldn’t see it
The hopsital deserves another visit

Pawn to E4
Rook to D4
Take your medications
Until you plead for more

So if love is what we live for
Remind me again why
The feutility of it hits us to the core
And leaves us in the corner to die

A8 shifts
To A1
Who are we playing
And is it for money or is it for fun?

Stand up, look at the people next to you
Not to your body, but closest to your heart
Do you include yourself in this thought
Or does your own love not play apart?

Queen to the left
Her wicked appetite for your hate
So she moves onto the black square
And then declares a Checkmate


And Meg says I get to go to Guidance tomorrow. Whoo hoo.

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.....
watching: Torrey type to meh
listening to: Radio
mood: >.>
Well... Torrey got online.

And read the message.

And dumped me.

And I broke his trust and I deserve to die.

But... he's forgiving me...




!

YAY! ^^! ^^! ^^! ^^! ^^!

I'm gonna go scream in happiness.

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