Oh, how I love my friends... lol... Weekend overview.... Friday I went to Kelsey's and hung out there for a while.... Went home that night and Saturday morning Laura and Neeco came and picked me up and we went back to Nicole's to hang out with Lucas and Ashley for a while... then Ashley pissed Luara off so me Lushus (haha), Laura and Neeco went to get cappichinos... And rode around for a while then we went back and we all gave each other fake tattoos... haha :-) and Ashley was still being a bitch so Lucas, Neeco me and Luara all went up to Laura's to watch movies and hang out... Steve was there with Dillon.... hes such a cutie... Dillon's ear hurt and he wouldn't stop crying so Steve said... "If you stop crying daddy will buy you something new tomorrow.." And he stopped crying and was like "what" It was funny... Then Steve rode Dillons little motorcycle around the house haha... wow... then I went home late saturday night and Sunday I went up to Amanda's.... Nothing exciting really happened there haha...

Over the past week I've realized something... Everyone that I've gotten close to... Everyone who has gotten to know the real me, I'm losing them... :-/ And there's no way for me to fix that... I just want those four ppl to know that they have made a huge difference in my life and I love them... you know who you are...

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Today was.......interesting... haha... I read my memoir about my aunt Shelby that died in the cafe today... :'( I hate crying in front of people. But I'm glad that we sung yesterday on stage cause it got me comfortable with being up there so I didn't screw up today....

There are many things that have happened lately that I haven't had time to write about in here... I got my hair cut on Sunday... They took off about 3 1/2 inches.. I like it... And Monday... Pasko got in a car accident.. That made me wanna cry too.... Cuz him and Shawn were talking about it and hes like yeah at least you're not laying at the bottom of a lake somewhere... No one would even know... I was like ahhh! :-( don't say that... I love Pasko :-(

Ok this new Novel and Drama class isn't gonna be as easy as I hoped it would... We have to read like 5 or 6 books in the quarter... And write papers and what not... And do summarys... But at least we get partners for that....

At lunch today, I was sitting there talking to Summer and... There's this guy who sits like three tables away from us... And everyday he sits there and stares at me... And today I finally started freaking out cuz it gets annoying after a while, having someone sit there and watch you eat everyday... It's like GOD GET A LIFE! haha so Summer is gunna go work out and get buff so she can block me from him...

Ok.... I think I'm gunna go up with Cornz this weekend to see Ryan... But I'm not sure yet... I know I have to go to Kelsey's on friday.. And I might have to go to my grammys on saturday to hang out and play with my little cousin that I loooooove....

Kelly Erin VanNote - You made me cry today hun. :-( But I am very very proud of you! It took a lot for both of us to get up on stage and do that... But I believe it's a way that we start to realize that.... They are still with us even tho they are gone... I love you bulby!

Buuurrrrtttannny - I think you lost a lugnut back there at the corner... haha omg we have too many good times together.... even tho you yelled at me today... I still love you!

Darren - I just wanna say thank you babe, for being there for me lately.... I really don't know what I'd do without you.. You are such a great guy and remember.... two years ;-) Love you!

Ok, I got a new cd today.... And here's some lyrics from the song "Fall to Pieces", I really like it for many reasons.... And I'm working on it :-/

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
Cause I'm in love with you

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Wow haven't had time to write in here lately... Now that Missie lives here too I'm never home cuz she can drive haha and she takes me places.... Anyway.. Weekend plans changed a little so here's what went down...

Friday after school... Me and Missie hung out here for a while... Then at like 7 we decided to run up to the mall.. well drive haha... And on the way there we stopped at Bilo to cash the check so we had money and we pulled a huge u-ey in the middle off the road haha... :-P It was funny... Anyway... When we were at the mall we went to Baskin Robins to get one of those latte things to share... and we're standing there waiting for the lady to give it to us and take our money and when she handed it to us shes just like have a nice day... so she stuffed the money back in her pocket and we hauled ass down the hallway... haha... before they noticed... Then on the way back we were racing ppl... Then we went to Nick's house for a while.... Then home... Didn't get to bed til like 12:30

Saturday I got up and got around then me and missie and cory went up to Mansfield to get a tire for the car... Then after we got back from Putnam's... Cornz came and picked me up and we went to the game... Omg me and Jen and Jess and maggie were walking around and there was this really hott guy and Jen went up and smacked his ass and when he turned around he goes WHOO! it was soooo funny... Then me and Jen went to get food and she ordered a pepsi and cheesefries and the one guy gave her a pepsi and then the other lady turned around and gave her one too and before she could tell em i took it and said shh! the lady behind us was like =-O that's bad... haha it was funnnnnny :-)Then Missie came and picked me up from the game after she'd picked up Paige and I came home and played with my niece :)

Sunday was my relaxation day I stayed home all day and layed on the couch and watched tv... it was great haha... just what I needed after such a long week... Anyway.... I guess I'm gonna get going....

I'm gonna be alright...

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I'm bout to have me some fun...!

Ok plans for the weekend.... Tomorrow Cornz is gonna pick me up then were going to the game to hang out with Mike and Ryan... Then we're going out to eat... then I'm gunna go back to her house and... well who knows after that.... With us... anythings possible haha...

All I can say is... I miss MANDA! :-/ It's not the same not having her around... I need my Manda...... AHHH! I'm gunna go insane... lol...

Ok I don't know what else to write cuz.... there's just nothing else to say... :-/


I miss you

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Ok so... things still haven't really gotten better.... maybe that'll change Saturday... I sure hope so...

I'm just sick of feeling like I'm not good enough. I feel like such an idiot sometimes because I was the one who let all the good shit slip through my fingers.... But i know I had reason for what I did... I just.... can't remember the reasons now... I don't know anymore... I guess all I can say... Is what's done, is done.... No take backs... No redos... it's over :-/

Anyway... I got a 106 on my english project... made me kinda proud.... Cept for the donut on it... hahaha Sierra ;-)... I'm so glad we're finally done with Ceramics... that guy was such a fricken prick.... I'm gunna miss my Manda and My Kristy and my Kisses tho :-(... I still have my Cheesebutt in english tho... so that oughta get me by... lol

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY CHEESEBUTT!!!!!

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Yesterday was okay I guess... I got up, went to school... I got to talk to Shawn a little bit which I guess made me feel better... But then again it just made me miss him more... I dunno... all I can say is I'm trying...

I got my English project done and handed in thanx to my Pumba and my Burrrrttany :-) and I think I did really good on it actually...

When I got home last night I talked to Mike for a few hours which put me in a better mood... so I decided that I should go to the dance.... And wow... was that a lot of fun... I forgot what it felt like to just go out with the girls and have fun... lol... and Arrell and I talked and I think we're FINALLY alright again.. which is a great thing because I missed having her as a friend... Tiffy, Amy, Diane, Erin and Brittnie... I'll never forget our little grind line... hahaha... I love it :-P

My neice was over last night too.. I love that kid... shes so cute... Cept when she starts whacking the keyboard and making it log me off aol in the middle of a very important conversation... haha...

Pasko... Once again I just want to thank you for being there for me lately... It's great to have a guys perspective on things.... thanx for the dance too :-)


Don't really know what else to say cept.... Bizzer... I really need to lay off the alchoholic kool-aide... hahaha.... :-P

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