Peanut butter oreo cookies and a tall glass of milk are the best ever.

Just thought I'd inform you all.

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One good thing happened to me today that I forgot to put in my other entry.

David called me cute.

That made me smile from ear to ear.

It still makes me smile thinking about it.

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So I just tried one of those 'how well do you know me?' test things that some people have. I tried it on one of my ex's just to see what kind of questions he asked and if I knew him well enough just simply by guessing. Well, I signed up and it saved my name to his quiz thing. I doubt very much if he knows a lot of girls named Cheryl. I also know that he's not an idiot, so he'll more than likely recognize my name.

Ugh!

I know that he's not going to freak out like one of my other ex's did when I messaged him asking him how he was. I wonder if he'll even do anything at all. Maybe he'll ignore it. Maybe he'll tell someone. Who knows. I just wasn't expecting to actually ... I dunno. I guess I didn't really know what I was expecting. Oh well.

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I was thinking earlier about relationships. And I was thinking about the reasons me and the 4 boyfriends I've had have broken up. {I don't count the 5th boyfriend I had cuz he was just psychotic}. The first one I had we broke up cuz I moved. The second, we broke up cuz the school zone changed and he had to go to a different school {I might as well have moved cuz we didn't live too close together anyway}. The third, supposedly he just wasn't ready for a relationship and it ended on a weird, uncomfortable note.

Now my fourth boyfriend is the only one I was serious with, though it lasted less than a year {I have yet to celebrate a one year anniversary}. I was engaged to him at 17. I was young and dumb and he become my life. Three days after our 6 month anniversary, I moved. Long story short, the relationship obviously failed due to the 2100 miles between us.

Now, I'm going to be moving out of Tucson in just over 5 months so I don't want to get involved with anyone due to the indefinate fact that I won't stay here. Once I get to Las Vegas, I'm not going to be as avoidant about meeting someone, but I'm still going to be extremely careful. I'm starting to think that I'm afraid of getting serious with anyone. Once I'm in the relationship, I'm almost too committed, but its getting into one that I seem to have an issue with.

Another reason {though this isn't a huge reason} is the fact that my mom has been widowed, not once, but twice. I'm not afraid that the person I become involved with is going to pass, but I just haven't known much luck with relationships.

The only relationship, recently, that has seemed to work with very small issues is the one that my little sister is in. They have been together for over a year and a half and they're still going strong despite the slight age difference {she'll be 17 in May and he just turned 19 this past December}. I'm afraid for her, though. Not for any other reason besides the fact that she's my sister and I don't want to see her get hurt.

I'm also not the most self confident person either. I'm not as insecure and self-conscious as I was a few years back, but I do have my insecurities. I'm afraid of things that could go wrong.

Oh well. I'm sure that things will play out as they are meant to and I'll meet and become involved with someone who is meant to be with me. A couple meant to be together. But that's all in the distant future. The only things I need to focus on right now are not screwing up at the job I have now and saving up money for my move to Las Vegas in July.

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If you've never seen the movie The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you're sooo missing out. It is one of the best movies of 2005 and one of the funniest movies ever. I'm watching it right now and since I'm bored, I decided to share that with you. Here's a trailer {not your ordinary trailer} just in case you've been unfortunate enough to have never seen the movie. And if you have seen the movie, then you'll understand what's going on in the trailer. Either way, you'll find it funny.

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Two years ago today, I moved out on my own. I left the nest to start my own life. It was hard to get started, but I managed just fine. I only had to wait two weeks before I got a job. Three months after I came here, I had a place of my own. {I had been kicked out of where I was staying, hence leading to getting my own place; long story that I'd rather not get in to}

You would think that I'd be happy and celebrate my independence, but au contraire...

I don't like Tucson. It was not my first choice for a place to live on my own. Actually it wasn't even a thought until my friend in Phoenix suggested I come here. {My original plan was to go back to Florida to live with my boyfriend at the time; he turned out to be a douchebag}

I've only ever had the one job. I've managed to keep my first job for almost two years. Its a shitty job, but I like the people who I work with. Not exactly the most fair tradeoff, but it works. I can always just find another job, but I'll be moving in 6 months. Its almost pointless to find a job just to quit a few months later.

If it gets so bad at the job I'm at now, I'll look for something else. But with Joey gone almost for good {the new store isn't open quite yet} things should be getting a little better.

Anywho, here's to celebrating two years of my own personal independence.

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