My bad. It's not on purpose or anything. I'm just working all day and by the time I get my food back to the office, I start doing stuff and then I get around to maybe one bite. One hour later, another bite. Twenty minutes, two bites. Half hour later, one bite. Three hours later, stomach gurgles, but not in the mood to eat anymore. >.>

It's actually quite common among my co-wrkers and I. Rather, this one co-worker and I do the same thing. I need to eat. I just got home and I'm starving! >.<

Mom's in the kitchen cooking now...

Anyhoo, My stalker has been scaring me. For one thing, he's on a watch-out for me on AIM. Obvious bc he'll im me ONE SEC after I sign on. And last week he told me he went to the area where I work everyday to try to spot me after work. He really wants to see me, call me, etc. SCARY. I've been ignoring his IMs and going invisible immediately after signing in. I DID answer one im last week but that's how I found out abt the whole hanging around where I work thing. But of course he doesn't know the ACTUAL place where I work. *sigh of relief* This guy...when I first met him, I gave him a nickname to call me bc "who the heck are you and why are you talking to me?". He went on to find out my full name, my school, my Facebook, finds out his cousin knows me and dug around until he found out we used tolive in the same area and get babysat by the same woman(through the cousin, of course). >.> FREAK.

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Okay, so now I've watched Twilight. It's what I expected. Shrug. 'Nuff said.

Question: What's the best site/service for handling monetary transactions? How is PayPal compared to other services? Is it possible to use such services to, let's say, shop online? Any way to better protect personal information (credit/debit card info., etc.) but still able to perform transactions online.

I do want to re-read the books now though. But I can only find Breaking Dawn at home. Hmm...

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Hey, guys. I have a job, been working there for over a month now. I'm on contract for seven months. Uhhhhm, what else...I have a dog. But you all knew that. Oh, and I might not be able to keep him anymore bc my building might have decided to go pet-less. Making room for new tenants paying higher rent for 'luxury' apartments--which aren't all that luxurious, believe me--by telling people they can't keep their pets. I really doubt people are going to be kicking their beloved animals out for the apartment. Except me. I kind have no choice. I ain't rich, people, and this is an awesome rich-people neighborhood with all kinds of easy access to EVERYTHING. Stores EVERYWHERE, everything is just steps away. I went back to barre class this Saturday (barre = that bar thingy you hold when doing basic ballet) for the first time in two years hooray and now I'm horrible old-lady-sore. My hip bones/hips/leg muscles especially. No surprise there!

BTW: please disregard the prev. entry. >.> I already knew it was fading, but it's always good to have some documentation for your life. Like a journal or diary, not that I've ever actually kept one up. That one was called teenage angst. These are only useless seconds of my days. That one probably took up all of 300 seconds. Thank god I don't get them often. Pretty rare. Whew. I would never forgive myself it if I turned into one of the few [insert noun] I hate...And I don't hate a lot.

Okay, since you people have no intention of reading past entries, here's a summary:

I. Check out FeelYourBoobies.com. NOT what you're thinking. It's a site dedicated to spreading the awareness of breast cancer, especially to the younger generation. Young women below 45 don't think they're susceptible to it, but we are. Mammograms are routine for health checks for women 55 and older. Breast cancers have been diagnosed in those as young as sixteen years old. Be aware and spread the news ppl.

II. 'Oriental' is not a word. Stop using it. By the way, I AM NOT ORIENTAL, guddurnit.

III. Check out SavetheInternet.com Do you believe?

IV. Oh, and I bartended for the first time. $31 in tips for two hours. Good or bad?

Oh! AND: if I can't say THE N WORD, ya'll can't say CHING CHONG/CHINKY/CHINK/CHINGLISH/GOOK/etc.

Oof, this has been long. I swear I didn't mean for it to be. _{i am sorry.}

Plugs: the-muffin-man, randomjunk, Nuttz, invisible, ikimashokie, crz4manga

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I don't know what to do.

I'm confused. I don't know what my heart wants. I can't hear my brain reason and argue about logic and what I want, or should want.

I'm tired. Tired of running away and just doing nothing, but wait. Tired of this feeling of loneliness. Tired, just tired.

Should I give it a try? But I've always told myself from the very start that it wasn't right. There were maybe two days, maybe three, in which I settled myself. Resolved to give in--no, agree. Smile and answer with a positive. But in the end, the expected came too late and that resolve broke away. I didn't do it. A non-answer and I was free to think, to pore over everything. To come to the conclusion that it was best that time had passed.

Best for me.

Now I don't know again. I just don't know. I can feel doubt eating away at me and the new resolve I had thought so firm.

This is the problem with unstable hormones. You never know what you really think, because it always changes. I can depend only on this: I will feel differently tomorrow. *chuckle*

I had truely thought it was right. I was READY. For the first time in my life, I was. Then time passed and I thought the opposite was reality. I thought myself so cool-headed, logical, and realistic about myself.

Haha, I can feel this strange new twist melting away right now as I type.
I'll feel different tomorrow. Let's see what a new day brings.

listening: The Climb

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I was reading an article in Yahoo! when I came across a comment: "I especially love it in oriental foods."

Just say Asian for goodness sakes! What does it mean to be oriental? Usually it's associated with Indian/Hindu/Chinese style rugs, vases, etc. And people. I'm TIRED of it. It means Asian so just say Asian.

What about this Mandarin nonsense? Fashion: Mandarin collars. For goodness sake, Mandarin is the name of a dialect. At least they don't (or can't) say Oriental collar. Who knows what that would mean?

Want to hear something funny? A NYC Councilman once asked his Chinese colleague (only Asian of all 51 representing the city) to translate something into Asian. When asked which language he'd prefer, he said "Just Asian." I don't think I need to comment on that.

Re: title -- I'm just saying 'oriental' is not a word.

By the way, check out the mod on the left. Feelyourboobies.com, a site spreading the awareness of Breast Cancer to the younger generation. A very good effort as most young women under 40 don't get mammograms and aren't aware that they are also at risk. As young as fifteen years old. Spread the news.

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I bartend-ed for the first time yesterday.
First time touching alcohol. Came home smelling like alcohol, just slightly and just my fingers. I was sitting on my bed when I realized it. Me and a corkscrew, who wins? Well, I think me bc I pretty much got the hang of it by the end of the night. He gave a good fight though.

And! And! I was actually allowed to keep my tips.

I was actually there to help out with the set-up and was asked to stay as bartender. $31 in tips for two hours. Not bad, not bad at all.

By the way...


HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!


And a Bah Humbug from me. Where's the guy with the flowers for me? I much prefer flowers over chocolates. But of course, I don't see guys often so how would I get any? 'Tis the difference between reality and fantasy.

I had Taylor Swift's Love Story stuck in my head all day yesterday. All week actually. For no reason whatsoever.

Good bye. Have a good one, babes.

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