It's 3:31 am, and I cannot sleep. I've been up for a few hours now though, and I think I'm gonna at least try and rest some. It's not like I have to be up early for anything, so I can sleep later if I need to I guess. I missed a call from Edward last night, I had drifted off to sleep by the time he called. He left a message saying he loved me, to have a good night and sweet dreams and all that. I've been saving his voicemails lately because I know I'm going to miss the sound of his voice while he's away, and this way I'll still be able to hear it. He also said he's tell me about what happened when he calls again. Something happened? I wanna know if its good or bad. I've tried decoding his tone in the message to sense whether it's good or bad, but I can't. It could be either way. I hope it's good. I know he was feeling kinda depressed yesterday, and good news would've cheered him up. But I don't know what happened yet. I hope it was a good thing, I really do. Maybe he doesn't have to stay in Iraq as long as he thought he would! There's an idea. I don't know. I'm going to bed; I'll post more later.

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: Edward [t], Life In General [t]

I went to the doctor's yesterday. She ordered, like, 10 different blood tests because she wants to rule out the possibility of me having POS. (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). That sounds like so much fun! Not. And this morning, I got to visit the dentist. It wasn't so bad, and it's over with now. I don't got to worry about going to the dentist again until the end of March!
We did a lot of running around yesterday after my doctors appointment; my mom had an eye doctor appointment in Orlando, and then we stopped at Wal Mart. All of the driving around gave me plenty of time to read my textbook for class, so I'm pretty much all caught up there. While we were at Wal Mart, I picked up Justin Timberlake's new album, Futuresex/Lovesounds. It's not a bad album. But the track entitled 'What Goes Around'--I think it's about Britney...listen to it and decide for yourself. (Go to Napster or something legal, I won't be putting it on here illegally.) Or you can just view the lyrics here..
In other news, I talked to my fiance again last night. He asked if I wanted to go visit him in Texas next weekend before he leaves for Iraq. Hello! Of course, I want to. Whether or not I'd be able to is what I don't know. I'm going to talk to my mom about it soon, but I'm a little scared. Isn't always scary to ask your parents if you can do something very grown-up, like fly halfway across the country by yourself to visit a boyfriend/fiance? I don't think I'm alone on this one here.
We've still got some wedding details I want to have worked out before he leaves too. I know we've talked a little bit about some of the plans, but I don't think there's really anything definite yet. I'd like to set a date (my main priority), choose a definitive color scheme, etc. If I get to visit him in Texas, I think I'll have more of a chance to get those things decided.
Oh, and about the cd mix I want to give him. I have decided on a few songs, I just don't know what order I want to place the tracks. Each song has some sort of special meaning to us and our relationship, and I want it to be like a timeline of our love, but I can't think of a way to put it together and still have it flow the way a cd should. He's supposed to give me a list of some of his favorite songs, so that may help if I need to bridge some tracks together and make it flow. Does that make any sense? I think it does, but I'm gonna end this entry here since it's getting kinda long and I tend to ramble with the more I write.

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: Edward [t], School [t], Employment [t], Wedding Plans [t], Life In General [t]

I think I have cold feet, but I'm not really sure. I don't really know what it means to have cold feet. I mean, I'm panicking over what I know are tiny little things that I shouldn't worry about. But I keep worrying about them, and wondering how we'll be able to compromise a solution. I'm also dreaming of the honeymoon. I don't know where we'll go on our honeymoon, but I do know that I want it to be awesome. I think that's partly why I'd prefer a smaller, more intimate wedding. We could spend less money on the actual wedding ceremony, and more on the honeymoon.

Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: Wedding Plans [t], Edward [t], Life In General [t]

I talked to Ed again. I'm trying to come up with a list of songs he enjoys, so I can make him a mix cd and send it to him in Iraq. That way, when he gets bored or wants to listen to some music, he has a cd ready to go. He wasn't much help when I asked him what some of his favorite songs were. That's okay, I've thought about maybe 20 possible songs I could include.
We also talked about going back to Texas after our wedding. He suggested two things: I could wait in FL until he's found an apartment for the two of us and then fly out there and be with him or drive back with him and search for an apartment together. (I'd live in a hotel until we found a place.) The latter would be more expensive, but I think I want to drive back with him. I don't want to be apart once we're married, even if it would only be another few weeks or so. Plus, he wouldn't have to drive the whole way to Texas by himself. (He says he's still going to do that anyway, but we'll see..)
Bloomingdale's still hasn't called. I don't know if they will or not, and I know it's only been a few days, but something tells me I'm not going to be working there right now. Oh, well. Green Meadows Farm is hiring tour guides and people to give horseback rides. It wouldn't be a horrible job except that I would be outside for 4-5 hours a day. But it looks like the pay rate starts at $8.50 an hour! I don't know, I think I'm going to give it another week for Bloomingdale's and then I might apply at Green Meadows.

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: Edward [t], Employment [t], Life In General [t]

So, I went to Bloomingdale's yesterday and completed the second application. I forgot the name of the person who recommended me, and ended up putting that I'd found out they were hiring through the internet instead. I emailed her this morning pointing out my mistake..probably should have just left it as it was, and let it go. Eh, the emails already in her inbox now, not much else I can do about it.
I talked to Ed again. Apparently he has 15 days of vacations he can use next year between January and August before he comes home in November. He wants me to pick a month for him to come back so we can married, I think. I don't know, but he said he wants my input on when I want him to come home for vacation. We both agreed that it should be more toward July or August, cause then when he left he'd only have a few months left before he comes home for good. I'm leaning more towards June or July though. I don't know. I guess we still got a little time before we have to decide on that though.
In other news...wait. What other news? I don't think I have anything else to write about...I could talk about school, but what about it? Hm. My professor extended the deadline for one of our papers which helped me out a little bit. I turned in the assignment today (the deadline is tonight at 11:55), although I'm still not unsure of one of the questions. I don't feel like fixing it though, so I decided to be lazy and turn it in anyway. It's probably going to hurt me on a point or two. Ugh. Oh, well. I know better for next time, right?
I'm thinking of entered Seventeen's 'Be a Guest Editor' contest. I love writing, and I've always wanted to be an editor of a magazine. This could be my chance. I just have to think of something to write about. Any ideas? I was thinking of writing about my fiance going to Iraq, but that seems like it's overdone in the media nowadays. They have plenty of soldier stories out there, don't they? I want to do something different! Come on, people; give me some ideas!!!

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: Edward [t], Employment [t], Life In General [t], Competitions [t], School [t]

You know what's stressing me out the most right now? Ed. In different ways too. In one way, I'm stressing out about life without him. He's headed to Iraq at the end of the month, and all I can do is pray that he will return, safe and sound. I want more than prayers, I want some sort of sign to show me that he really is going to come home alive and well. I don't know what I'll do if, God forbid, anything happens and I'm forced to move on without him. I don't think I could do it. I really don't know.
On the other hand, I feel like our wedding isn't that far off, and I've basically got to do all of the planning myself. I know both our parents will help me out, but still. There are still some decisions I've got to make and some of them I don't know if he'll be okay with or not. Like the color scheme? What if I pick something he doesn't like? I know he's not going to Iraq until the end of the month, so I still have time to call him and ask him about some of the details, but what if I forget something? What if I think of something I need to ask him, that needs an immediate answer, but he's in Iraq and we can't call each other on the phone? It's not my wedding, it's our wedding. I want him to be happy with the ceremony too.
School is also very stressful. And I'm only taking one online course! It's more likely that I'm stressing over getting my schoolwork done and turned in on time while my laptop keeps crashing everytime I try to go online. Yeah, I got two other computers I can use, but what about those times when it's unavailable? Ugh. Why does life got to be some complicated?
Anyway, I'm fixing to head over to Bloomingdale's to complete a second application for a job there. I'd love to be a sales associate over there, I could work my way up to managing a Bloomingdale's department (in time)!

Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: Wedding Plans [t], Edward [t], Life In General [t], School [t], Employment [t]