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lwelizabeth
Age. 37
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Caucasion/White
Location , FL
School. Other
» More info.
I'm in a Mellow Kind of Mood..
Monday, November 20, 2006
So..my dearest fiance has woken me up the past two mornings by calling me at 5 AM. Considering he's in Iraq, and I can't always be with him yet, I think it's the perfect way to wake up in the morning. I uploaded new pictures to MySpace for him to view, hopefully he's had time to do so. He also got Yahoo IM, finally! Pray that he can get on tomorrow so we can chat. Can you save the conversations on there? I know you can on MSN/Hotmail, and I would LOVE to save the convos we have over the next few months. Also, he may be coming home for leave earlier than planned. Not sure how early, but he's still going to try and make it as close to our anticipated leave time as he can. (We planned on him being home for my birthday, he may be coming home a week or two before instead. He's also been offered the option of coming home for Christmas instead of waiting 'til the New Year.) I'm hoping it works out the way we want it to, 6 months in Iraq-15 Day leave-6 months in Iraq-HOME. That's why we picked the leave when we did. But you know, it's the military. They don't really get to pick and choose everything all the time.
Heather's coming home this week! Yay! We're going to have to go to lunch or a movie or something while she's here. I haven't seen her since August; we've gotta catch up. Esther also coming home next month, in December. Esther is my best friend in the whole world, and I can't wait for her to return! I haven't seen her since June! We gotta catch up on what she's been doing in Argentina, and what I've been doing while she was there. (We email constantly, but it's not the same.) Plus, she has to keep me busy so I don't worry too much about Edward. The Youth Christmas party is in two weeks, too. I don't know what I'm going to bring, but apparently we're supposed to bring something. Could be a good excuse to have some baked ziti...(my favorite meal).

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Damn MySpace.
Friday, November 17, 2006
My fiance just posted a blog comment and it won't let me view my blog or it's comments. Damn it!!!

Edit: Nvm. It's working now, although my fiance already logged off . He suggested planning the wedding in the gardens where he first gave me my promise ring if we can't get the theatre for the wedding. Joel needs to get back to me on that soon....

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New Zealand + Me = ???
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Ever heard of YWAM? (Stands for Youth With A Mission.) Esther is down in Argentina working in their base they have down there. Well, through our many emails, she has been telling me I should do something similar. And I'm not really against the idea. I've been kinda interested since she first told me she was doing it back in March. This past week I finally took a peek at the YWAM site, http://www.ywam.org, and found one that I would really love to participate in. The dates are perfect, I'd be home when Ed is, but I'd also have something to do for the 5 months in between seeing him. It's also in New Zealand...that's not really a huge problem, I've got a passport (I think...it may not be active anymore.), but it does bring up some interesting questions about the situation I'm in right now. (Ok, so situation isn't the best terminology for it, but I can't think of what else to call it..it'd be a 'situation' once I got to NZ though.)

Anyways, as I was surfing the NZ base site, http://www.ywam-oakridge.org.nz, I've been trying to find out about the financial-portion of the program, like how much it costs and I've been unsuccessful in finding it. Is there anyone who could help me find that out? I'd ask Esther, but she's a little unavailable right at the moment, and I want to find out everything I can about this as soon as I can. (Like in the next few days!)

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I'm Disappointed.
Friday, November 3, 2006
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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One Really Long Entry...
Friday, October 27, 2006
I wish I were employed. I really do. Or in school full-time instead of Part-time. That will change next semester, but for now, that leaves me a lot of free time to sit here and think about Ed. Which also means, I have plenty of time to sit here and worry about whether or not he's okay, and if he will call today. Last I heard from the troops over there, they were in the middle of a blackout period. I don't know exactly what that means, but it sounds as though they are cutoff from calling and emailing their loved ones back home. Well, if they're in the middle of a blackout, how come his friend can log in to her MySpace everyday? I'm just frustrated by that. Couldn't she just leave a quick comment to tell me he's okay? I know it might seem like a lot to ask of her, and maybe it is. She's busy too, and has to let her own family and friends know she's ok. But still. I'm a worrier, I come up with the worst possible scenarios and actually convince myself, sometimes, that they're going to come true in the next few days. You know how they say bad things come in threes? I've kinda already had two, I really hope that saying isn't true. He hasn't logged in since the 21st, and his sister didn't log in between the 22nd and the 26th. I noticed this and immediately played out a horrible fantasy that they'd gotten word of his death and the news had yet to reach me. I was planning on going over there yesterday, but I got no answer when I phoned them. I emailed his sister to let her know I wanted to come over, and since I wasn't able to yesterday, I'm going to try and visit tomorrow. She logged on to read that email..so maybe there is hope?
I made a promise before he left that I would move on if anything should happen to him. I don't know if I can keep it. He is my whole world; I can't imagine my future without him. But you know, I have these two voices in my head. One keeps telling me that all hope is gone, and that he's not going to come home. While thee other voice tells me to keep praying, and just to have faith. (I know whose voices they are too--Satan and Jesus.) I'm clinging to Him more now than I ever have.
Speaking of which, my church is having some sort of Unhalloween event on Sunday afternoon. I'm really looking forward to it, for the simple fact of having something to do. Well, besides schoolwork, which is getting really behind. I've only been going the church for a few months, and their previous 'events' have been a lot of fun, so I'm hoping this will just be another fun activity I can participate in. I know my the time Ed returns, I'll have or be in the process of leaving the Student Service and attending the Adult Service. You know what though? I really wish there was College Student Service. We're not really in our teens anymore, but we're not really adults either. We're close to being adults, yes, but we're still inbetween the two and there is no church service for those of us that are inbetween those age groups. I guess I'm lucky because my church doesn't really kick us out at any particular age, but they do encourage us to explore the more adult side of things. (Not that I'm complaining too much, but wouldn't this be a big reason why Christians stop going to church when they get to be college-age?)
Ed, to me, is a man. He takes responsibility for everything he does, good or bad, and accepts that life isn't always going to give you what you want. I don't know of anybody else our age that does that. I know who guys will take responsibility for something that's going to give them some sort of priveledge, like a promotion at work. But those same guys will blame others for their actions when they feel they're going to be in big trouble with their girlfriends, parents, teachers, whoever. And I can't believe that this man is mine. He makes me happier than almost anything else in my life (I say almost, cause I gotta give that #1 spot to God..), and I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell him just how happy he makes me, and how proud I am of him because there are no words to describe how happy and proud of him I am.
Maybe I am bragging about him a lot right now in here, but I don't care. I feel like I bragging about sweet he is. You know, the very first time I saw him, I knew there was something different. At the time, I guess I didn't really connect it with love, but looking back on it, I'd have to say that's what it was. I knew he was going to be in my life for a long while, hopefully forever. (And a day.--Inside joke of ours.) I remember the day after we first became girlfriend and boyfriend, officially. He brought me a rose just because he could. All of the other girls in my class were so jealous. And I loved it! I still love when he does things like that, which I guess is more often than most other boyfriends. He's bought me a couple of Teddy Bears, a ring, and a blanket in the time that we've been together, which is close to three years. Yes, we have had our ups and downs, but what couple hasn't? God, I can't wait to be close to him again. I can't to hold him in my arms and comfort him and just watch him sleep. I miss watching him sleep. And I miss cuddling with him, and sort of playing house when I visited him in Texas. I can't wait to do that again, except next time it'll be the real thing.
I'm going to end this entry here, cause I can't think of what else I had planned on writing...

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Everythings Gone South..
Monday. October 16, 2006
Wow. I haven't blogged on here in almost two weeks. Sorry, I've been busy trying to catch up on schoolwork (unsuccessfully). And I've got a major paper due tonight that I am having a really hard time finishing. Can you start a paragraph with the word 'Which', or is that bad grammar??
I actually don't care. I probably should, but I don't. My grandma passed away the other night on Saturday and I can't stop think about her. Mostly about how she's not going to be at my wedding, which is something I really wanted. Yeah, she'll be there in spirit. But it's not the same. I can't even imagine my wedding day anymore, even though I still want to get married. I don't know. I just feel like I've lost control over everything. Emily wants me to use fake flowers at my wedding; I think fake flowers are ugly. She wants me to get my hair done by someone she knows cause it'll be free; I don't care about the money when it comes to my hair, I want to be able to trust the person doing my hair. I can't trust someone I don't know; Cindy, the girls who's been cutting my hair since I was nine will be doing my hair. I don't want the same photographer that Eric and Xiomara had at their wedding; I know plenty of photographer who can take way better pics. My dress? It's going to look good. Trust me. Just stop telling me how to plan my own wedding! It's my wedding, what I want I'm gonna get. Well, as long as Ed's okay with the decisions. It is his wedding too, isn't it?
Which reminds me, I finally got an address to mail him care packages and things! As soon as UPS drops off my MilKit...it's been 10 days; you said 7-10 days for delivery. I'm gonna complain if it's not delivered today. Actually, I shouldn't count the weekends, but still. He mailed me something within the last month (don't know what..and he won't tell..), I want to mail him something too! Aye.
I'm gonna go try and finish my paper now..wish me luck! (I need an 'A' in this course!)

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