I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.

I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart:

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
Something's different
And i don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends -check- Money -check-
A well slept -check- Opposite sex -check- Guitar -check- Microphone -check- Messages waiting for me, when i come home
-check-

How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means

How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries
What do you think it means
~John Mayer~

---------------------------------------------------------------

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
~Switchfoot~

---------------------------------------------------------------

I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming
Monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops
As they’re falling tell a story

[Chorus:]
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me

Don’t say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos- your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape

[Chorus]

Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light
~Evanescence~

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wow, i didnt think i could do that...haha, well anyway the left side was getting a little too crowded so um..yeah i miss the other one now...




*sigh* so bored...nothing to do... what do u guys do when ur bored?

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...awful today. last nite i over heard my aunt talking with my uncle and she told him that when she sends the stuff over, like boxes full of clothes and food and stuff, that she has them have my grandma go to that person (who she sent it to)'s house, and that she tells them not to bring any food to my mom :( thats the most awful thing ive ever heard her say. then my aunt takes her anger out on us by asking if we want to be sent back, and we say no, cz we both want to have good educations, thats wut our mom wants too..and she tells us that the way our mom treats her is the way she should treat us...NO! i dont think so, that was the second most awful thing.

anyway then theres the time where i keep checking to see if the letter to become a citizen or wutever comes in the mail yet, and she keeps telling me that maybe "they dont want you" i cant believe she would say something like that...sometimes i feel like maybe i should go back and live with my mom, but then i wouldnt have anything to eat there and stuff...which is just bad...but i think she should be sending food and stuff that my mom needs to her...she shouldnt treat her sister like that, even if they are fighting, i mean me and my sis fight but we wouldnt not send food and stuff if one of us needed it really badly...and my mom does need food and stuff really badly.

last nighte she made me write a letter to her signing it as my uncle's name...she made me write the most ugliest things in that letter...then they both had me rewrite it, cz i was doing it word for word, and so they had me rewrite it so that it didnt sound like she wrote it. i really regret writing that letter for her...it sounds like i hate my own mom and i dont...i have no reason to...anyway i dont know what to do about this situation im in. having my aunt tell me what to write to my own mom. and before she told us what to write and she would read it to make sure we didnt change it, and then she would send it to our mom...i felt really, really bad doing it too...im just glad that this coming december ill be 18, but im not sure if ill be a citizen just then, so that means that i cant move out until i turn 18...NOOOO! i think i might have a nervous break-down or something...so yeah thats all for now...

writing this out and having you guys read this and help me out with my problems helps me out in so many ways you guys dont know. i think of you guys as my family... :)

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today is going slow, but whatever. not sure what else to put, i just feel like putting in lots of new entries today, whatever comes to mind. i was supposed to help my sis with her econ, but shes not logged in so yeah no way of helping her now. hopefully shes not mad...

im still in class and theyre till working on their poster projects. i remember doing those last year...i liked doing them, its just nerve-racking when we had to present them. i mean i didnt have to tell the class about it, but just standing in front of the class was nerve-racking. but i did enjoy the class.

anyway dont have any idea how im going to pass my vocab. i did a quick study and yeah ive got most of it down. i dont know whats the point for me to study when im just going to forget most of the ones i know...so yeah

... ... ... ...

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so yeah the title says it all. the class is working on all of their poster projects. actually some are already finished, and others are finishging their posters. and i just remembered that ive got a vocab to study for...so yeah, L8ers

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well right now its 917 pm and yeah well im tired. and i missed north shore...noo!! oh well. anyway, im about to get to bed, so yeah, and DiZfLyPnOy hasnt responded to my ims so yeah, any way hell respond sumtime tonight if not then i dont know. oh well, doesnt really matter. anyway i shoudl really get to bed now, since ive got skool tomorrow...good night everybody, and sweet dreams :)

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