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Hello Again Everyone
Monday. 2.11.13 7:30 pm
Went back to this less conspicuous name to start entries again. Deleted everything from that one, for reasons unknown of course.

Boyfriends dad is driving a truck through this area this week, so I'm going down back with him to Alabama to be with him unless a job calls before Wednesday.

A little scared of how this is going to turn out, but I'm sure God has only the best planned for me.

I may or may not be having a slight panic attack right now. What if his parents don't like me. What if he doesn't like me. What will I wear to meet him.

We won't be doing anything inappropriate because: a. he's not fixed. b. I'm not ready for that nonsense.

Anyway going to go back to watching Law and Order

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Previous Entries
Monday. 2.11.13 7:30 pm
Copied from my old account

Copied this from my myfitnesspal.com not sure if the pics will work.

I started this on 09/23/2011 (lol date edited since I started a year and 5 days ago, not five days ago XD) at 380 pounds, that was my real start, I started roughly, I restricted way to far down on week days (1200 a day) and way under restricted on the weekends (eating between 2-4 thousand calories a day) In March I started on Myfitnesspal I was at 340. I am now 280 pounds. I still have roughly 130 pounds to go, but this was a huge milestone and I wanted to share with everyone

(I may have to edit the pictures)
This was actually taken in January of 2011 but I really didn't change any up until September when I actually started. This is also the only photo in existence of me this big. I will not delete it because I now know what i Never want to be again.



I'm currently at 280.

This one is kinda facebooky, but I liked it.


Any way I've come a long way, I've walked to work most everyday since September, I started out walking that mile in an hour and a half, and today I made it in 22 minutes and 7 seconds. So yup, thats my bragging

--

Conversation with willow
willow: (this is our girl talk today)"its like when life gives you lemons that talk, you need to talk back like when life gives you a lemon named gary
and you were a lemon and I was a lemon we would both talk and say i love you cause we are both lemons like sister lemons and if the sister lemons can be rainbow girls I don't know what rainbow girls are..."

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Dear Future Husband,
Monday. 2.21.11 2:09 am
This isn't to a current person as I"m not engaged.
Dear Future Husband,
Since we are getting married, I must love you. But I am a very dependent, clingy person. Seeing as you proposed you must also know this already. I need to have someone to help me with decisions, but at the same time I need someone I can take care of. Someone who knows that sometimes I just want to feel useful, and be acknowledged as such. I'll cling to you like a life raft. I'll use your love to fuel my self worth.
Maybe by now, though, I have learned to love myself a little bit more.
Sometimes, love of mine, I will scream, its because I'm passionate, and because I'll think that if I hurt you first that you can't hurt me. Sometimes I will simmer quietly, because I don't know if I'm right or wrong.
Sometimes I'll stare at you, whether lovingly, or blankly, or angrily. Its because I think to much.
Sometimes I'll run away, Its because I'm afraid. Forever and never scare me. To be with you forever can sometimes be as scary as never meeting you.
And sometimes I'll write you funny little letters and never give them to you. Because as much as I love you, I never want you to think I'm stupid, (even though I have probably told you how much I love to stand outside when it storms, the wind whipping my hair around, The lightning making the hair on my neck stand on end,)
Yes, I must love you a lot, I wouldn't have said yes otherwise.
Always and Forever
Your Future Wife.
----

Ok so this started out mostly fictitious just to get some feelings out, then I fed real comments from someone into it and then I came to a conclusion. (and sometimes, future readers, I'll leave ya hanging, wondering what it is.)

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I got the Job!!
Friday. 2.18.11 4:56 pm
(thank you God!!)
I got the job this morning, it was so awesome. So I was sitting there filling out the application and the phone for this place rings. The lady answers and says
Lady: Sure I'll check on that application for you whats your name?
*Rustling of papers*
Lady: I do apologize sir but it seems we have no openings right now, you might try back in a couple weeks. *pause* Yes I understand your frustration, unfortunately we just have no openings for anyone right now. Thank you for calling.
Me *thinking*: Well fudge what a waste of 4 hours, a waste of make up, and a waste of getting up at 5am.
So I finish the application and turn it in. The lady takes it and says sit over there it'll be like 10 minutes. So I sit down and out comes a guy with my app going ok, time for your interview. (yes it was that quick, less than a minute)
So we head to the back he asks how I am, and if I've worked in a call center. (which is a yes) Then he says ok read that script. I read it and he says Ok you start on the 23rd.
I was like THANK GOD. this is so fantastic.
Then I spent like 2 hours trying to figure out how to ride around on a bus and look for a house. then decided to come home clean and ask my uncle to fix my car. but then I got distracted by the internet. And you're pretty much caught up :)

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