Ranor did a great job explaining things and showing how they may be incorporated in our everyday lives. He was always more than willing to help and answer questions. His enthusiasm made coming to class fun. He wasn't like some of the TAs I've had before who treat the students as inferiors. He was eager for us to learn the material.

Honestly, our TA was really great. He was well-informed on almost every topic we discussed. He knew how to relate to his students in a way that allowed us to understand him as well as respect him (but still have a little fun too).

I think Ranor did a good job connecting with the students. He was always very friendly and made the experience of microbiology very enjoyable.

Ranor was a perfect example of what a TA should be like. Ranor was very good at not only presenting the slides through Powerpoint, but he was also very good at explaining the complex material further, so all students could understand it. He was always available to students for questions and concerns. I feel because of him I learned more than I ever thought I would learn in a class like this. (I took this class before and the first time, I was intimidated and almost scared of my TA. With Ranor, he related to the students but was still able to get the materials across clearly.)

He is the best TA I have ever had in all of my science classes.

Ranor was very prepared with pre-lecture slides and explanations of what we were supposed to learn to do in every lab. Ranor was also a hella cool person to teach the class. We laughed every lab and he let us make nicknames (ex. "Rain" haha) for him. How many TAs do that? He also was so good that we didn't know it was his first year until he told us during lab one time.

He connected with the students well and it also seemed as though he has done this before.

Showed that he really cared.

I'm going to miss these kids next semester! My friend Jenny (not wing-woman Jenny--another Jenny) told me that she heard people outside the lab talking about how they hate this part of the semester, especially when they have to say goodbye to a TA they liked so much. I'm getting the warm fuzzies inside!

Hearing things like this from my students further confirms to me that I want to work towards being a professor. I thought about whoring out to industry, and maybe I still will, but I want to be able to teach a class at least once a semester even if I do. I know academic jobs are hard to come by these days, and I'll probably be underpaid for the rest of my life if I stay in academia, but I like doing this. I like that feeling when someone understands something for the first time.

This also gives me a much-needed confidence boost. It's not news I tend to emo-out sometimes, especially when certain boys are concerned. But you know what? I don't need to do that all that much, dammit! I'm an awesome person, I'm good at lots of things, and I don't need to worry about being perfect all the time. I shouldn't need external validation to feel good about myself--especially when it comes to my academic performance and when it comes to Nicholas... but I think until I get to that point (and I'm trying to work towards it dammit!), things like this will help me get by.

:)

Comment! (2) | Recommend!

...I might be going to Vegas this weekend. With Nicholas in tow.

EDIT: He can't go, which means my obligation to Jenny (per our agreement) to go is nullified. I would have considered going if I wouldn't have had to drive up to Vegas by myself... Oh, well. I have things to work on anyway. Would've been impossible otherwise.

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

I finally got my new laptop. It's not flashy, but it's super-light and fast and powerful and that's what matters to me.

Staying in tonight. I initially invited Nick out tonight, then the plans fell through, and I had to break it to him. He seemed like he was eager to go out even though he had a ton of stuff to do tonight for his part-time job. He thanked me for inviting him and told me that we're definitely going to hang out sometime this week. (Hopefully more than once.)

Little victories.

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

...you're ready to fiesta.

This is advice suitable not only for the proper application of prophylactic devices onto the phallus.

Might go out tonight. It's not like I have anything to do tomorrow, so yeah. Maybe I'll try to get Nicholas to come along.

Oh, Nicholas. Why does every scenario I run in my head inevitably lead to my own heartbreak? Why can't I just enjoy every moment for what it is and try not to let my overactive, over-planning mind ruin it for me? This is how I get into trouble; this is how I hit rock bottom.

An active brain is good for so many things. Love isn't one of them.

Comment! (0) | Recommend!

I feel like I kinda hit rock bottom this past weekend, so there's nowhere to go but up.

It's Monday. It's the start of a new week. I'm going to make this one a great one, and I'm going to make myself the best I can be.

And nothing--not my advisor expressing disappointment at my presentation, not Nicholas acting hot and cold, not the amount of grading I have to do this week--nothing is going to drag me down!

Comment! (3) | Recommend!

Well, most of it. And I don't want to talk about why right now.

The good: Nick was genuinely concerned about me today. He's bringing me a bottle of vodka; I'm bringing him my liver, and possibly my heart.

EDIT: Last night was... well it was awesome, up until the end, when I asked Nick for a ride home and he kinda was an asshole about it. I didn't quite know how to react, so after he left I emo'd out (not just about him, but about all the other shit too) and vomited out my insides. There was no way all of that was food; I've been barely eating these days. I'm sure some of that emesis was my heart.

I occasionally stopped breathing while the world was spinning around me. I thought I was going to die. At that moment in time, with all the emotions from the darkest recesses of my mind rushing out and encircling me, I thought that death might be a gift of mercy.

I texted him this morning--against my better judgment--saying I was sorry for putting him in an awkward position like that. He got back to me apologizing that he thought he came off as a bit of a prick, but he had a lot of fun last night. In a fit of naked and brutal honesty, I told him that it kinda caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react to his prickishness. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. I don't know.

My head hurts and I'm going into lab to atone for all of my academic sins.

Comment! (4) | Recommend!

FML.

Comment! (1) | Recommend!

And most definitely not in the good way.

This presentation is going to kill me. Well, I should be more specific. Not the presentation for immunology--that one's fine. I'm talking about this presentation I have for a class that's taught by my advisor.

Did I spend too much time thinking about Nick yesterday... or the entire week so far, for that matter? Maybe. I should have started working on this presentation over the weekend, but I didn't.

And now I'm getting Swedish doubled.

Again, most definitely not in the good way.

I just need to make it through tonight without sleeping and then somehow muster enough strength to confidently deliver this talk and I'll be good for the rest of the semester...

The semester most definitely needs to be over.

How else am I supposed to wholeheartedly devote my entire life to the pursuits of knowledge and of love when those have to contend with school work?

Comment! (1) | Recommend!