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Tried to give you Summer,
But I'm Winter.
Wish I could make you Spring,
But I Fall so hard.

It is I, Tammi.


lucidblur
Age. 38
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Black
Location Petersburg, VA
School.
» More info.
What needs to be done?
- Finish painting
- File FAFSA
- Wash clothes
- Gather yardsale items
- Hang out with Levy
- Relax hair
- Unpack
- Buy Jimmy Eat World album
- Request credit report
- Close FSNB account
- Register for classes
Speak Free!




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Mood

Right now, I feel: The current mood of lucidblur@yahoo.com at www.imood.com
Inside my Mind

Extra Links
Lyrics of the Moment
In my fantasy I'm a pantomime
I'll just move my hands and everyone sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And it's way past time
To end in my mouth

Paint my face white and tried
Reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my voice and see the world by candlelight

I ain't afraid to let it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant garde
Show me your heresies
And I'll show you mine
We only speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride

I ain't afraid to let it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all

In my fantasy you look good entwined
In my hair and skin and spit and sweat and spilled red wine
You're my deep secret
I'm your pantomime
I'll just move my hands
I promise you'll see what I mean


Incubus : Pantomime
Shows!
Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Virginia Beach, VA
August 2001

Hoobastank, Incubus
Norfolk, VA
September 2001

Phantom Planet, Incubus
Richmond, VA
June 2002

30 Seconds to Mars, Incubus
Virginia Beach, VA
September 2002

Jepetto, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
March 2003

Lollapalooza: The Distillers, The Donnas, Queens of the Stone Age, Jurassic 5, Incubus, Audioslave, Jane's Addiction
Bristow, VA
August 2003

Mest, Goldfinger, Good Charlotte
Richmond, VA
October 2003

Alien Ant Farm, 311
Richmond, VA
November 2003

Y101 Birthday Bash: Steriogram, Marcy Playground, HIM, Puddle of Mudd
Richmond, VA
May 2004

Spooky Daly Pride, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
June 2004

Ben Kweiler, Incubus
Richmond, VA
October 2004

Copper, Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Richmond, VA
January 2005

Jimmie's Chicken Shack
Virginia Beach, VA
August 2005

Switchfoot
Norfolk, VA
November 2005
Damn it.
Sunday. 9.11.05 11:38 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Exorcism of Emily Rose.
Sunday. 9.11.05 11:24 pm
I went to see it by myself tonight. I may have nightmares. Great movie, though. I want to read the book.

I worked for more than four and a half hours today; I worked for almost eight. I wish they'd work me 9 to 5. I'd almost decide to stay here.

Speaking of that! I had this awful feeling a couple of days ago. I had this weird feeling that although I'm not very happy here, maybe it's where I belong. Also, that I may belong with James although he makes me feel so much lower than him and unhappy, too. I really hope that's not the case.

I mean, I belong where ever I make myself belong, I know that. But maybe it's what I deserve. I've always thought I deserved more, but maybe I really don't. I wonder if it makes me a greedy bitch for wanting more. I know very well that I appreciate everything I receive, but does it make me ungrateful for wanting more sometimes?

Don't get me wrong. There's no way in hell I'd stay here.

I had this idea of bringing Quint to the Switchfoot concert, but Mom's feelings were all hurt when I asked. "Well, you two can go without me." So that sucks. It'd be more fun with him there, but I can find something else to do with him.

lol, That sounded dirty, but that's really not what I intended.

v.v Yeah, that reminds me. A private entry awaits...

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Damn it, I did it again.
Saturday. 9.10.05 1:29 pm
I should've gone to the bank when I woke up.

Damn it!

I have $4.60 in my account. I went to McDonald's a few days ago and spent $7.90. It hasn't posted yet.

You do the math.

Now I have to wake up extra early on Monday morning to rush down there and make a stupid $4 deposit. Knowing my luck, it'll post before I can make it down there.

Wonderful.

I do not want to go to work tonight.

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May be sooner.
Friday. 9.9.05 10:36 pm
Looks like I may actually be moving on the 2nd. I found out my hours for next week and the following week also. I have thirty-five hours altogether on the paycheck I'm getting after next Friday's.

So. My notice is going in on Sunday or Monday.

James' friends Chris and Drea are on their way up here. Mm. Three days.

I really don't have much to say right now.

I'm outtie.

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I post too much.
Friday. 9.9.05 1:49 am
I have chills and I don't have the will to write. Do I have a reason to feel lonely? I think I might. I sense a fight before the night becomes dawn. And before my last yawn, a fued is bound to spawn. Yes, between me and James. See, we're in this game. He's playing Xbox, while I'm here saying what I feel. It's unreal. We're not speaking and haven't spoke in the last hour. But when I leave to take my shower, he'll sure follow. All this before tomorrow.

He will say I was leading him on.

This sort of thing here, it happens often. And if I continued to live here, I'll end up in a coffin. Soon. The moon being a witness of our battles. He wants to control, but my sensitive soul can't take much more. Which is why I'm moving. I'm proving to myself and others that I can make it. So I'm stripping everything naked and starting anew. There are still a few issues, but they're soon to be through.

I can do it. I can do it. I can do it.

When I leave.

I don't know what that was, but I'm bored as fuck obviously. So fucking bored. And tired.

Um.

Found the lyrics for "Admiration" by Incubus. I'm totally in love with this song, right beside "Here In My Room". I'm posting the lyrics in a module. (Download this song because it's great and Brandon Boyd is a sexy bastard.) I really missed this Stealth soundtrack when I was in Virginia. I wanted Mom to hear it.

Okay. I'm tired with a lot on my mind. A lot. I can't even sum it up; I have so many thoughts running through my head. I feel like someone's yelling at me.

I'm going to take that shower now. But before I go... I want to put a very short friend's only entry in livejournal.

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Switchfoot!
Thursday. 9.8.05 11:05 pm
Mom and I are going to see Switchfoot on November 4th. I just need to buy tickets. She says the only way she won't go is if she's sick.

She better not be!

*happy*

Well, about that anyway. Other things are disturbing me. That's my fault, though. I'll fix it.

I really don't want to work tomorrow.

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