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You Smell Funny
quote for the day
"You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"
"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth. "
-- George Bernard Shaw
song of the moment
The Hand That Feeds
You're keeping in step
In the line
Got your chin held high and you feel just fine
Because you do
What you're told
But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold

Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

What if this whole crusade's
A charade
And behind it all there's a price to be paid
For the blood
On which we dine
Justified in the name of the holy and the divine

Just how deep do you believe?
Will you bite the hand that feeds?
Will you chew until it bleeds?
Can you get up off your knees?
Are you brave enough to see?
Do you want to change it?

So naive
I keep holding on to what I want to believe
I can see
But I keep holding on and on and on and on

Will you bite the hand that feeds you?
Will you stay down on your knees?
Tuesday. 10.19.04 8:43 am
V45HTheStampede (5:46:17 PM): I You!

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yawn...
Monday. 10.18.04 10:05 am
Good morning sunshines! How has everyone been? Welcome to Monday morning. I know, depressing. But at least the weekend was good. I went out and did some hardcore playing on Friday night. And I puppy-sat on Saturday and Sunday. It was good. Oh, and I got to cox on Saturday at practice. That was an interesting experience. So, the weekend was good. There was play time and sleep time. And grocery shopping time. Shea and I had the most amusing trip to the grocery ever on Friday. We plan on going about once a week from now on. So, how was your weekend?

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and I kicked its ass back!!
Saturday. 4ish.
So, I got a 94% on my chem. test!! O.o Yeah, I rock the casbah. The class average was in the low 70s. And, Danielle talked to Maguire and said he will drop one of our test grades at the end of the semester. So, in conclusion, there is hope. Another amazing thing of the past few days...I got 15 hours of sleep last night. It was pure bliss. And I had Sonic. So, all I have to do for the rest of the weekend is workout, sleep, eat pizza from somewhere and have Chef Chan's Chinese food. Then my weekend will have been successful. Oh, and I think I have to fold my laundry. But that only takes like 10 minutes. So, all is good in my world.

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shecanery!!
Wednesday. Late.
So, I was sitting there and I suddenly hear "equals a cubic me-ter." What? What equals a cubic meter? What are you talking about? This makes no sense!! "Now everyone put up your notes." "Pop-quiz? Can't be!! We just had a test on Monday. There can't be a pop-quiz!" Dan laughs, "No, actually this would be a test." "A test. No, you don't understand! We just had a freaking test last time we were in here! And it took me an extra 30 minutes!!" Dan - "Well, we have another test." So, the test comes, and I write my name, sign the thing and write my seat number. Then I count the pages cause the thing seems oddly thick. 10 freaking pages!! I could barely finish 3! What is he trying to do to me?!? I browse through it a little and the entire test looks like Greek. I run up to Dr. Maguire and tell him I didn't know there was a test and I have no idea how to do anything. He smiles and says, "Well, sure you do!" I go back and spend the next hour working on chunks of problems. I have no idea what I'm doing. None! I cannot fail another test in this God-forsaken class! After the class if over, he tells those of us not finished to go to the lab next door. It's ok though because now I can really ask him for help. So, half the class piles into the lab, and I find a small spot on the floor by Maguire. After about 30 minutes Kevin comes running in. "Tisch! Where have you been? You were supposed to be at the Loyd Center 30 minutes ago!" "What? We had practice this morning. I ergged! I died! I have class in 20 minutes. I can't go down there." He grabs me by the arm, and I barely manage to drop my half-finished test in the pile. We run to the Loyd Center, up to the third floor and I see about half of my team dripping in sweat as they erg. "You have 3 ten-minute pieces pyramide style and 3 sets of 10-minutes on the stairs in between. Then we'll be doing some race pieces. Better get moving, you are behind!" Kevin laughs. What!! Why? I am so confused. "Move it Tisch. Move it! Pull harder! Harder!" Leslie's voice drones on and on in the background until it turns into an obnoxious beeping in my head. Beep beep beep beep beep. I sit straight up. "Damn alarm clock! Damn dreams!!" Talk about dreaming of a personal hell. That was it kids. I was traumatized beyond all belief last night! And then I tromped to practice. We ergged just like above, but there were no stairs so I was almost alive in the in the end. And, as a side note, we have two chics who are varsity but have been practicing with us for the last week or so. They think our practices are way harder than vasities. Damn the Kevin! If only he wasn't so freaking nice!!

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if i had a peanut brain i would kill myself.
Friday. Afternoon.
I found the debate last night highly amusing.

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life is a mystery
Monday. 9.27.04 10:36 pm
(the point is at the bottom)

thelaughinfish (10:35:25 PM): there are just some battles you can't win
DC 1CE (10:35:39 PM): haha, but at least you always try and you fight your best
thelaughinfish (10:35:58 PM): but what's the point if it isn't going to be enough?
DC 1CE (10:36:45 PM): jess, we have have known each other for forever now. and you know that it doesn't matter whether or not it's enough. you are a fighter, and there is nothing wrong with that
thelaughinfish (10:37:05 PM): there is today. sometimes i wonder if it just wouldn't be better to give up
DC 1CE (10:37:20 PM): you don't know how to give up
thelaughinfish (10:37:22 PM): maybe there would be less damage.
thelaughinfish (10:37:30 PM): haha. but i can try right?
DC 1CE (10:37:59 PM): no, you know that. fight for what you love and at the end of the day you will be happy whether or not you lose
thelaughinfish (10:38:26 PM): how do i know i'm fighting for something i love and not just an illusion of what could be?
DC 1CE (10:38:45 PM): hmm, out with the tough ones tonight aren't we?
thelaughinfish (10:39:10 PM): sorry
DC 1CE (10:39:12 PM): just do your thing. j, you always seem to know
DC 1CE (10:39:19 PM): don't be. that's what i'm here for
thelaughinfish (10:39:50 PM): gary - tonight i really don't know. i jsut know that i dont' want to anymore
DC 1CE (10:40:31 PM): then don't if you think you shouldn't. but don't give up just cause you want to run yourself into the peshtigo river
thelaughinfish (10:40:41 PM): hahaha you jsut said peshtigo river!!
thelaughinfish (10:40:50 PM): that was awesome
DC 1CE (10:41:08 PM): and you can't spell just what's your point? ;-)

and the moral of the story is that i do have some of the best friends in the world. and right now my life is absolute awesomeness with a hint of bittersweet. but so goes the good life i suppose. oh, and i do know how to spell just.

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