Thursday. 3.22.07 3:03 am
Ever searched the stars for the purest music?
Colors and faint light,
Like a dream,
Nostalgic feeling of serenity comes into play,
Unifying the soul…
Faint lights of distant planets,
Reflecting the glory of quiet stars,
Reflecting silence,
Reflecting the sweetest melody at play…
Melody heard,
Melody playing all along,
A silent treasure,
Singing hymns of past and future…
In the beauty of its hymn,
In its mystery we wonder,
How was it that music so sweet,
Was playing all along,
And yet not yet heard…
And in the journey,
Through the celestial infinity,
Hovering past the astral landscape,
The music only gets sweeter,
As the melody gets clearer…
Standing in its bluish glow,
A wonderful hue never seen,
In its calming radiance,
The source of all beginnings and end,
He is embroidered in every being,
As every being is embroidered in him…
In his eyes lie the story of past,
Time immemorial,
Time yet unseen,
For there was no time in infinity…
Play the music,
Dear celestial player,
Play the melody sweetest,
As all I see is your bluish glow,
Calming me,
Unifying my soul to the source…
Comment! (0) | Recommend! | Categories: Literature (poem) [t], Haresh Daswani [t]
Sunday. 3.18.07 3:40 am
“Just relax, this won’t take long”, has never sounded reassuring. Neither has “Don’t worry, everything will be fine”. Putting trust on motherhood statements had been difficult, given the number of failure situations that has occurred in the past by others who have said the same. The slightly more specific term, “Just watch that fire burn!”, combined with the any of the above terms, makes it even more difficult for us to trust the person trying to reassure us.
This is the current situation of Mr. Turner, tired and bored from selling advertisements for the Yellow Pages, as he nervously stares at what his close beer buddy is currently doing, combining the above statements repetitively while performing a task that involves fire, fireworks, and other miscellaneous items, in one situation that could actually cause disaster in a wrong place, a wrong situation.
But being bored and drunk, this was the closest solution to their predicament. Nothing was on TV, nothing was on the radio either. People started to bore them, the world became really boring that they had to make a story.
But was this really necessary? There are now very nervous people surrounding them, and in any moment, the police, and the fire department will arrive, and will not appreciate their gesture. No excuse can get them out of this situation.
You too, now feel intensely curious of the situation, something that has all the bystanders watching all over them.
Their action has caused traffic, and others have found that this situation would actually be better off without them in the vicinity, for themselves that is.
And the fire is getting larger, more nervous. Mr. Turner has suddenly realized that he did not know his friend that well after all, and they have known each other for 15 years now.
15 years of believing he knows his friend changed in the span of 12.34 seconds. And now, he expects that Mr. Turner (let’s call him Jason from here on end) will trust him with his action. What got Jason’s friend to act this way? No one knows. No one will, as Jason’s friend jumps into the fire, and perishes.
And the crowd watched the whole spectacle in the middle of the bridge during rush hour, as all the yellow pages were discarded from the back of the car (these are samples being given to clients by Jason), and firework powder was mixed in to intensify the fire and let it breathe, let it live.
Jason’s friend thought he can also be a magician, but two weeks into the course is not enough to complete the course. Alcohol did not deteriorate his judgment. It did for Jason, as Jason’s friend was not exactly sane all along, Jason only thought so, as he was drunk whenever he got to talk to him. Today he has realized as he sobered with all the smoke and screams, and sirens, and now, water.
This was not a boring day for Jason after all.
Comment! (1) | Recommend! | Categories: Literature (Hmdaswani) [t]
Saturday. 3.17.07 3:47 am
Friday. 3.16.07 10:10 am
What is in the very core of your soul? Staggering around the room, scared and suspicious, you get to the peephole on your door.
Your door has 4 locks, you hold on the knob not to open the door, but to support you as you stare through the peephole. And on the peephole, you see through the hallway of your floor.
In this peephole no one can be seen. In fact, there are a lot of people who cannot be seen through the peephole as it limits your vision and angles.
The strangest thing is, we believe we can see everything in that peephole. We believe that our door with 4 locks will protect us from everything we believe is out there, out in the open and unruly wild.
And yet we do know we have to open that door sometime, and go out, survive. Something in us will force us out to the open, and open the 4 locks that we presume keeps us safe.
We stagger back to the living room, with the comfort that there is nothing out that door that could ever harm us.
How safe do we really think we are with a door with 4 locks? Does it need more? Or was one sufficient enough? How smart do we think we are keeping the world out to keep ourselves safe?
If the world is after us, it will haunt us, and the 4 locks will not be enough to keep us safe.
In the meantime, we have just jailed ourselves, with our choice to live our lives, we choose not to. Our door has more locks than a prison cell, as we pretend the whole world around is in jail and we aren’t.
And life will keep on haunting you, and haunting you, until you lock yourself in the casket, where you will be buried 6 feet below ground, by this time, there is no need for a peephole, as there is no need to open the door, and if there is ever a need, you won’t have the ability.
In this grim and silent comfort you can no longer move. It will be in this inability to move that kills a man, and not merely the end of life.
Life is, after all, lived through making waves in a pond, like a rock thrown to it, and not the rock in the bottom of the pond, of which we fail to realize exist.
Existence is to leave the door open, and walk out of the room, and breathe, the air might not be fresh, but in the very least, it is different.
Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: Literature (Haresh Daswani) [t], short story [t]
Thursday. 3.15.07 2:03 am
Tuesday. 3.6.07 10:52 pm
Tuesday. 2.27.07 1:10 am
Saturday. 11.4.06 8:36 am
Hmdaswani (Confidentially hiding my name) January 12, 2003
4 EB
Breakthrough
Characters:
Ray
Mat
Dan
Kim
Scenes:
Left half of the stage contains a modern bar with the design idea used for bars which managers and bankers go to.
Right side is blank. Scenery materials are added according to plans in script.
(Stage is dark, light is focused on Ray only)
Ray: Define emotions, an irrational reaction to a situation, stimuli that has not gone through a thorough perspective check. It involves filtration to what the person wants to believe, thus causing exaggeration. People tend to put more beauty to what is merely a projection of one’s instinct to. There is the territorial and competitive instinct that people go through that causes all these negative behavior triggering instincts which provoke fights, confrontations, revenge and even death. What a wonderful cycle.
It does sound harsh, right? But that thought is emotions.
Now, all these “feel” gives you a reason you think validates anger. The clouded irrational perception gives reason to extremism. Suddenly, things that make sense, ethics, was removed and replaced with emotions. ETHICS AND EMOTIONS ARE DIFFERENT THINGS. In the end, following the objective good was replaced with subjective good, which can be messed up all along. OK, example, Concentration camps, Religious extremism, rallies against men and women taking their clothes of for peace.
(bar becomes lively)
Hey, are you guys even listening? Was I just giving a monologue? Did I suddenly look like a schizophrenic?
Dan: No no, I was listening, you WEREN’T a schizophrenic. YOU WERE JUST BORING! I mean, COME ON! We came here to drink MAN! Just don’t say those things to me again, let’s savor the moment and the chicks. (passes a bottle to Ray and Mat)
(all) CHEERS.
Mat: Ray! Dude! Check out the bitch in red! Hehehe! I think I’m in love man! Ever fallen in love Ray?
Ray: Love? An emotional response based on infatuation, dependency, and the idea of egoism? Falling for beauty based on culture and experience telling you what you find beautiful? While you think she’s your perfect chick, you filter away all her flaws, and when you take all that good for granted, BOOM! She’s the last bitch you wanna be with. What’s the question again?
Mat: Uh, shit I forgot. Heck, let’s drink to that! Cheers!
(all) Cheers
(light goes dark. Light focuses on Ray and all is silent.
Whisper: Over at the side! Over at the side! Woman in white! Woman in white!
(another spotlight opens focusing on the girl)
(ray is staring at Kim who is looking elsewhere for 5 seconds, then they stare at each other for 5 seconds)
(bar becomes lively and noisy again)
(mat notices Ray staring)
Mat: What is happening to mr. Rationality eh? What’s this? Lust? HAH! Even you fall prey to the face of an angel you sick dick!
Ray: Even rational men do have appreciation for beauty, the symmetry of the face, the preference of facial bone structure, complexion, and… (sighs) the eyes.
But where did lust fucking came from? Heck, that didn’t even cross my mind!
Dan: Ray Ray, are you redefining love now? Hehehehe! You even became fucking speechless when she came in! You’re the one who started all these nonsense that you can’t even answer.
Ray: There is always an explanation to this point. Men do have their preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. Due to culture they get “conditioned” to what they would define as beautiful. Beauty is something that makes you want. We are programmed to want what our culture conditions us to choose. Thus, causing our definition of beauty. If beauty was on the eyes of the beholder. Then why in the world do we have supermodels huh? Why do many people find certain people appealing? Instinct just kicked in, there is this instinct insisting us to try to win the person supposedly “superior” in their breed. We look at body and face. End of the day it is to come up with the most appealing offspring. Nature’s wonderful facts.
Dan: You’re starting again Ray, lets just drink!
(all): Cheers
(lights all go off)
(lights go on again, signaling the next day they meet up, green carpets looking like grass is added on the right side)
Ray: (tired, sitting down, sighs) Another day of monotonous routine. When will we graduate?
Dan: One more sem! Just one more sem! Lets enjoy it while it lasts! We won’t be going here as often anymore when we’re busy with work!
Mat: We won’t? Shit man! Fuck you you bastard guy! I mean, I’ll still make it a point to meet up at least thrice a week.
Dan: And
Mat: Do what we always do man! Dig out the chicks! Drinky winky! Boys will be boys!
Dan: Mat, Mat, Mat. You won’t realize how tired you’ll get after work man. You’ll end up at home, staring at the TV, wearing a toupee, just like your dad! At least, your dad has a wife.
Mat: Hey, my dad ain’t bald. There’s just a lot of skin on his head I won’t end up wearing a toupee. Or even stay at home. But getting lucky is another story. I got this chick last night man! She was quite a sight except for the Adam’s apple.
Ray: Adams apple?....
Mat: Don’t interrupt! Anyway, I was just chatting with her until the night passed. I brought her to my place, and I was getting romantic and all. We were French kissing for an hour man! I was touching her everywhere, but when I wanted to go further, she backed out and said she has her period thingy. She said if I’d still want to do it, it better be dark, and only in the ass. Well, I was feeling x-rated, so… what the hell!.
Ray: Yuck! That’s disgusting!
Dan: Yak!!! Waiter beer
Mat: What? What’s wrong with you guys? She’s my new love man!
Ray: You are fucking stupid!
Mat: Have you even met her?
Dan: Her?!?!, do they call them her now? I think shim is the word.
Mat: Fuck you Dan! I never insult about your 15 year old chicks dude. You’re the one who’s sick! You pervert, pedophile!
Ray: Adam’s apple? Women don’t have Adam’s apple.
Dan: Did you ever wonder why she wanted it in the dark?
Mat: Soo? What’ your point?
(3 second stares)
Mat: SHIT! FUCKED UP! AAAAAAHHHH GODDDDD!!!! (exits the stage)
Ray: I bet you he won’t leave the shower for a week.
Dan: What an unlucky man. It looks like the other guy who blew his arm off during new year’s will still be more thankful.
Ray: Hehehe! Cheers dude!
Dan: Cheers (toasts)
(Kim enters, Ray stares blankly)
Dan: Cupid hit you again eh! Let me see (stares). Good! No Adam’s apple. Fine specimen you got there boy! (hits the arm, shocks Ray and stares at Dan) What are you waiting for? GO FOR HER MAN! (Screamed loud, everyone kept quiet and stared at them)
(Ray stares at Dan)
(Everyone resumes)
Ray: That was pretty loud. But what do I intend to get out of the whole thing? A night of orgasm? Or a person who I will end up spending the rest of my life with on a monotone routine? Pride for getting her? Another person who will help pay the rent? All these relationships don’t make much sense. It is like…
Dan: You sitting down here analyzing what excuse to give me doesn’t make much sense does it? Either you go there and get her number and start making noises on the phone or you finish what seems to be a bottle of warm beer here and bore me to death… forget it, even I won’t even listen to this, I’ll go there and get lucky with ms. Smok-aholic! (goes to a woman smoking on the bar)
Ray: (all alone on the table, staring at the bottle) Fuck! I’ll just go for it. (walks to Kim and stares at her in the eye)
Kim: Oh hi there. I’m Kim. (smiles)
Ray: (Grinning, staring) Uh. Kim! Nice name! (blankly stares at the floor for what to say)
Kim: Right, nice to meet you! (walks away)
Ray: Wait! My name is… (walks to Kim)
Kim: Yes?
Ray: Ray! Me… Ray! I mean… I’m Ray! Nice to meet you!
Kim: Well! That took a little time. You should keep a card with your name written on it.
Ray: Sorry about that, just got lost there for a second. Let me get you a drink!
Kim: Thanks! But I can’t stay too long, got to work on my paper tonight.
Ray: Sure sure! Tell me more about you.
Kim: Well! I’m taking up a major in literature, I’m on my final year. My parents want me to go into law but I just don’t feel like taking it, it looks long and boring. Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with all that nonsense. I just watched Father of the Bride on HBO last night and it was so beautiful. I finished a box of Kleenex crying when she was finally gone from home and, and, it was…. SAD! (cries a little) to leave her family, the people who really loved her and took care of her and the next day, poof! Gone, sayonara, adios, gone… But the way the wedding looked, beautiful. I want my wedding to be like that. How about you?
Ray: (staring with indifference) Human beings do represent this emotion based on immersion on fiction and exaggeration. They are connected with this sort of dependency where the parental instinct takes care of the child and the child feels the whole obligation to reciprocate. Now with the absence of somebody, they tend to look at it as if the person passed away when they are a mere phone call away. What’s the difference when she went to study abroad and now that she’s married? On both occasions she wasn’t home, but there was a phone, email, video conferencing. End of the day, they can still talk to each other.
Kim: (staring in disbelief) Where are you from? K-Pax? You’re very insensitive you know. I’ve never met a guy who talks like that.
Ray: I’m just stating my opinion
Kim: Well you shouldn’t! (crying) Leave me alone
Ray: (trying to figure out how to comfort her) Uhhhh… There, there??? Should I pat you on the back? Will that help you stop crying?
Kim: (looking at Ray in disbelief, stops crying, laughs hard) That’s funny! I like that in a guy! You’re cute! By the way, gotta go, thanks! (leaves)
Ray: (stares in confusion) What? (sips beer)
(Lights go off, bench added in right stage)
(Lights go on, only Ray and Dan sitting down)
Dan: Hey, What happened to Mattie boy? He didn’t come to class today either. Still in the shower eh? (drinks beer) What happened to you last night?
Ray: I just went to start a conversation. She started crying, then she laughed. I didn’t get it.
Dan: Hehehe! Mr. Genius in confused! That’s a first.
(light darkens, spotlight goes to both Ray and Dan)
Ray: The female species can be confusing. They can easily forget something for the moment and change to another mood. I do find it quite strange that a slight opinion can change the whole aspect of her judgment and exaggerates her view of a person and his personality. What are they looking for in a guy anyway?
Dan: Love
Ray: Love? That’s a superficial statement of talks and dependency, infatuation…
Dan: Fuck Ray! Don’t analyze love! Just love!!! Just ask yourself, could you see yourself with her 50 years from now side by side on the park at night? Sitting on the bench, looking on the stars? You can be smart and everything but there is more to it than just numbers and if statements. Life is not just choosing options, you should let the boat drift and enjoy the view.
Ray: But what’s the point? Stars are mere hot rocks out there in the universe
Dan: (Interrupts) Fuck that and all your science Ray! Fuck the whole love analysis and just love! Fuck your definition of beauty and appreciate God’s work! Do you think that all these things in life, all these complexities, all these science, all these emotions, the moon and the sun, THE SUNSET! Do you think they will exist without God? They can’t! And he made the world beautiful, but with math to keep it running, but math doesn’t matter when you are with your loved one staring at the stars… Just hold her hand and don’t think numbers, feel what they are making you feel, and just sit there. Fuck the whole dependency and infatuation shit, just sit by her. If she wants to be with you forever, and you don’t mind sitting there, watching the stars with her forever, then you’re meant for each other.
Ray: Just when I thought I know everything. I know nothing. Just when I thought you know nothing, you know what I don’t know.
(lights go back to normal)
Dan: No one knows anything Ray. No one. And that’s what makes life worth living. The challenge of discovering more. The challenge of perfecting oneself. And you can make yourself more perfect with a complement. Go for her dude… I will just go there and make the girl in black scream in delight tonight at her place… (winks, exits)
(lights go off, lamps are added to the scenery, and backdrop of starry night)
(moments later, Kim enters, 2 spotlights)
Ray: Will you join me?
Kim: Sure
Ray: Forever?
Kim: What???
Ray: I mean, I want to spend my days, sitting with you in the park at night, watching the stars, until the sunrise that God has created.
Kim: I barely know you. And you barely know me. We don’t even know each other! And you, the man from planet K-Pax, should think about all that stuff you think about before getting into a commitment.
Ray: I don’t have to. Strange enough, I feel it, 50 years from now I want to still be beside you on a bench beneath the stars, holding your hand. I want to marvel at God’s creation, as he is taking care of us with his math.
Kim: Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard…
Ray: (a little confused) I’m still learning emotions, I am willing to learn from you forever…
(Ray stands up and leads Kim from the chair to the park scenery at the right, he sits her down and sits beside her)
Ray: I don’t mind doing this everyday for 50 years.
Kim: Staring at the stars, holding your hands (holds Ray’s hands)
Ray: (confused) I have this strange feeling in my chest and these… butterflies in the stomach, it feels good… What is it?
Kim: Love?
Ray: It must be (hugs Kim as they both look at the sky)
Comment! (3) | Recommend! (3) | Categories: Humor [t]
