nothing special happen today, except that i meet a very cute(or weird) kid.

i went with my mother to a dinner today.and there i met a about 2 1/2 yrs old kid.he was cute.but somehow,for a moment,he seems so stuck to me.and then he climbs all the way up from chair, to my laps, then to my neck just to play with my specs. ok.so he's curious about my glasses.

and then,when he finally wants to get down,he stand between my legs and keep smiling to me.he was so cute.but then,he did something.maybe he is just curious but he suddenly touch my breast playfully and then continue to smile.i did not react for he's just a kid.what's more can he be thinking.and then,he suddenly touch it playfully again and smile even happier.and then went off happily.

i wonder what was he thinking.i am curious what made him so happy.but he is just a nearly 3 yrs old kid,so i guess i will never know the answer.

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haiz...........

now that guy tell me he wants a death by eating panadol and sleeping pills.
i was freaked out by him.
but then,when i called his girlfriend,i realised he was picking a fight through the phone with her brother.
what the hell??
a dying person picking a fight???
then i asked him again if he lies....
"nonono,just stomach pain only" is what he said.
he dare not kill himself.
he is just irritating.
i am fooled again.
for fear i would lose a friend,i freaked out.
but end up he dare not do anything serious to himself.
like what my other friend said 'if he don't know how to cherish himself,there's nothing i can do'

so,
i am off this case.
want nothing to do with him now.
his problems are such a drag
i don't want to care about him anymore.

because of her jerky boyfriend.
a few days ago when he told me the last lie,i was so angry i say "i am waiting,for u to place the knife on my neck,and kill me."
because he sent me a lot of messages telling me i'll be dead or he wanna kill me.
so i challenged him 'kill me if u dare'.too angry.
then yesterday,my friend went to his house.he was angry her inbox is full of someone else's messages,not his.and he made her angry.
she also end up saying 'kill me la!since u want to kill my friend,kill me first la.' without knowing i challenged him before too.

so this can either prove that we are 2 good friends or that he is full of threats.

and i have decided i'll be there to kick his ass if he appears

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that matter about that friend who lied to me,i think i overlooked something:his feelings.

till now,i have been listening to my friend's description of him,therefore a bad image formed mentally.and because of that,i never really try to understand his feelings.

now,if i think about it again,he really is just a helpless person who could not control his emotions well.i know he is a harmless person when his moods are stable but i never give a thought about how he felt.

i knew he felt loveless,helpless and lifeless.i knew he never felt normal when he's with the others.i could feel all his moods when he was chatting with me.i wanted to help him,but i was so angry when he lied to me i chose to ignore his feelings.and then each time i wanted to help him,he lied to me,making me wonder if thinking of helping him is a right move to an untruthful friend.

maybe i should try to help him rather than keeping scolding him for his lies.

since i can easily make him say his thoughts,why can't i help him?

sometimes,its pretty cruel to uncover an injury yet not help to bandage it.

and now,i confused myself again:should i help?am i wrong?oh gosh,life is confusing

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hahahaha....

i finally know what was going on.

for twice he went out with my friend(for a date),i was there with my another friend.and each time he does something like strangling my friend or doing things that hurts her,we were always there to stop him.and somehow,maybe because we were there,he just can't do what he wants.

(forgot to say he's a freak;unless he thinks that his relationship with my friend is safe,he would be doing things that hurt her just to make her stay.she can just say a joking remark like she can sneak away from him through somewhere else and he's there to strangle her and not let her go.he tried gripping her hands till they are bruised,he tried pushing her very hard,he tried taking away her passport to not let her go home,he tried poking her chest till there are his nails marks and maybe a lot more that i don't know)

so i guess he found me irritating and finds a way to divert my attention, rather than be there to obstruct his ways and spreading rumors might just a way he thought might able to divert my attention.

nice move,except that he didn't see through enough to foresee that i will confront him and not spend my time to guess if the rumor is true.

hahahaha....how can a prankster not know her game?? checkmate!! :)

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i hate a guy that i just know weeks ago;a newly made friend. just these few weeks, he lied to me so many times.

the first time he lied to me, i was angry.
my friend and i was suppose to meet each other and go out shopping and i was suppose to meet up with him because he wanted to buy a shirt from me.

and then,he made me go from johor bahru to singapore. and when i reach the custom, he sent me a message saying that he doesn't have the money to pay me,so ask me to go home first.

no biggy,i thought. because i am meeting my friend.

but then he sent me another message saying that it was from my friend and that she doesn't want to meet anymore because of the bad weather. he is her boyfriend,so i didn't think much about the message.

but that night, my friend called and she sounded so angry.she told me so much trouble was caused because i didn't turn up.her mother was shouting at her when she was suppose to go home and he wouldn't let her go.then her brother went to singapore just to hunt him down.and what's more is that he told my friend that i didn't want the meet-up anymore just because i have something on later.

he lied.i didn't say that to her.i went to look for her just to go shopping with her.how could i say that?then i told her he said it was her who cancel the shopping date.

i was so angry i asked him to call me and i scolded him for about 15 minutes.he told me the reason was because he was desperate,for he has not meet her for TWO days and there was no other ways to do this. hell!two days only and he resort to this.

ok,maybe i should give him another chance.

the next day,four people meet again.him,my friend,me and my another friend.then i saw that there are cuts on his wrist.i asked him what happened,just wanna know the truth and he told me his friend do that to him.i was so angry i pulled him to go the police with me(friends can't do this,and its obvious he did that to himself,and yet he put the blame on others.)then he 'ahhh' weakly like a girl in a corner.man!he's lame.

i was so angry each time he calls,he end up hearing me shout at him till he dares not call again.(he is the type of guy that calls everyone that knows my friend when he could not find her,and almost everyone hates him now)then my other friend has a chat with him,and told me to give him a chance.

i gave him a chance again.and then he started creating rumors,telling his girlfriend things that are not true.he said so much about what my friend didn't say.

at first,i did not believe he would lie to me again.but when i ask my friend,he told me all his words are not true.

i confronted him but he denied lying.until i become rather nasty,he admitted.and guess what he says."i said all these because i know he won't be online"what does he means by this?as long as my friend is not online,he can say all the rubbish he wants?and then he started dragging all the other innocent people into the arguement saying that since they can do this to him,why can he do all this to others?that is totally two matters and he mixed them in,just to make it into one matter to keep him clean from all the blames.what kind of man is he??

he keeps dragging people into the arguement so that he can make himself look innocent.he can make it as though the whole matter is not him to blame but others who do these to him is to blame?WHAT!!everything started because of him and he blamed the others??i was so angry with him i never what to be his friend again.i sincerely wanted a friend and trusted him so much,and this is what i get.what a jerk i've met!!

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adults...adults...adults...n then adults...

when i was a kid, i wanted to grow up so much. i wanted to have a driver's license, i wanted to spend my whole night out and most of all,i wanted to have no bedtime.

i believe there are a lot of kids out there that have the same dream as me.

but that was when i wasn't being shown the real world, the real adult life.

i never know adult life can be so complicated.

`they seems to be good friends,but were backstabbing each other in their backs.
`they can be smiling so heartily,but what they were talking about were never as nice as their smiles
`they seems to be enemies,but they were helping each other in time of needs.
`they seems so cheerful,yet deep in their hearts hold dark dark secrets.
`the reasons they do things were no longer 'i do it because i like it' or 'i do it because this is the right thing to do'.
`their reasons now are always its their jobs, and because of money or things like that
`the main reason they make friends is that friends can be made use of, not because they want more playmates.
`in their lives, there is no longer a black and white zone,but a huge gray zone.

i was not aware of this, until i read news about the bad being out there having fun while the good suffers in the jail.people are going to the wrong places.

i started asking my teacher why is it that some lawyers for the bad guys when they very well know that they don't belong out there?

i am confused, why people do things not with a simple reason anymore,but with so much so much excuses i never able to understand.i don't know why there is so much difference between the adult's life and the kid's life.and i don't know why people can get so emotionally tired as they grow older.

its the same earth,same place and a same life,but look,the difference is so big when you compare your past and your present.

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