College is a cruel mistress. -The End-

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It'd be funny if:



1.) blades on ceiling fans were extremely flimsy...like rubber or something...they just spin in every direction when the fan is turned on


2.) they made "see-through" wrapping paper...like you can easily tell what the gift inside is


3.) pencils felt pain when you wrote with them.....like you hear them screaming every time you touch it to the paper....AHHHRAHHHHHAHHH!!!!!! *really high pitched*


4.) fish tried to catch people when they were out fishing....like you are out on the water...and out of nowhere a hook with a piece of bacon lands in your boat...you just stare for a second...and even though you obviously shouldn't take the bacon because there is obviously a hook going through it, you just bite on it anyway


5.) ice cream melted ridiculously fast....like as soon as it hits your bowl it just melts and evaporates into the air instantly


6.) cell phones self-destructed after every call....*nuclear explosion...mushroom cloud*


7.) staplers didn't have staples in them....instead it like.....oozes white out..but you're never expecting it....so you try to staple this important essay for school...and white out just seeps out of the stapler and covers all the work you just spent days on...and it dries instantly


8.) grass was able to withstand being cut....like your lawnmower blade just shatters instantly when you try to cut it *shhinnnng*..oh, and after the blade cracks, the mower explodes...obviously


9.) the point of baseball was to get out...but it was redesigned so it was extremely difficult to get out...like the bases are moved so they are only like 6 feet apart....and a homerun only has to go like 50 feet...pitchers can't throw it harder than 20 miles per hour....and if you ever swing and miss completely you automatically lose the game


10.) a law was passed that forced all food to contain 30 percent garlic...and at the same time outlawing all forms of gum, tic tacs, and breathmints...like the government just decides to abuse its power in some country...they enforce it ridiculously....like if anyone is caught with food that doesn't meet the garlic requirements or they are caught with any type of breath enhancing agent...even like scope.....their whole family is executed

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It would be funny if.........


1.) mosquitos were ridiculously huge and you could clearly see all of them flying around at night coming after you...like about the size of a bowling ball



2.) a drive-thru carwash was just a guy wiping off your windows when you pulled through



3.) ostriches could fly...just imagine it



4.) the bases in baseball were active landmines



5.) it literally rained cats and dogs



6.) toilet seats could talk



7.) lightbulbs burning out created nuclear explosions



8.) CDS were serrated



9.) spaghetti retained its hard structure after it was cooked



10.) paper self-destructed 30 minutes after you used it




Ha, I know, I know......but you KNOW it's funny....trust me, just picture the ideas in your head......ha, that's all for now....more to come...maybe...

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I may actually have some free time this weekend if my english teacher decides not to be a bitch today. I have a few items of homework to accomplish this evening, but other than that...I should be set. I've worked hard all week just so I can participate in whatever awesomeness occurs. It kind of sucks that it is supposed to rain on Friday and Saturday. It's like rain refuses to fall until you have an opportunity to do something enjoyable...the clouds fucking talk to each other...they're all like "Oh shit, Mike is about to go do something...we better fall out of the sky right now." The bastards...ha, anyway...as I was starting to say earlier...my english teacher better not give us any more homework for this weekend. If she does, I think I may destroy her. It will be some kind of violent, overly elaborate death like something from one of the Saw movies. Only this time...I will make it so she has no chance to live. Oh yes, there will be blood *tobin bell's voice*

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So the corn maze turned out to be a really interesting experience. It was definitely the closest I've ever been to such a large quantity of corn. Before we entered the maze, we were given a map and told that there were six poles with hole punchers hidden throughout the maze...each one with a differently shaped hole...every time you found one, you had to punch one of the six spaces at the bottom of the map. So of course Christine and I found them all because we have an outstanding sense of direction. It took us about 45 minutes to find all of the markers and make it back out of the maze. I'm not sure if that is a good time or not...I think we did pretty well. Anyway, I would definitely go back again...apparently on Friday nights you can bring a flashlight and do the maze in the dark...that would be insane. I just hope next time we go it isn't soaking wet. Our shoes were completely covered in mud by the time we finished. However, I think this is the best opportunity that I'll ever have to almost literally mean what I'm about to say..."the trip was sweet pickins"

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It's corn maze day! That's right...I said it..."corn maze day!" The day when millions of corn lovers across the nation (or just me and my g/f...not sure which) travel for many miles until they reach the land of corn. The journey will be a dangerous one...full of many hardships and hideous three-armed beasts. Some may view this endeavor with skepticism.....they will look at me and shout...."Are you some kind of loser!?" I will look back at them with understanding eyes. The answer is "no...no my friend...I am not a loser....for in the land of corn....everybody wins."

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