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Who Am I ?!?
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Name: Wilson
Love Of My Love: Jacqueline aka Dearie..
Better Known As: Wilbie, Botak, 3-Balls
1st Smile into the World: 27th Jan 1985
Star I Represent: Aquarius
Affliations: St. Anthony's Pri School, Kranji Secondary School
Studying @: Singapore Polytechnic
Course: Business Admin (Marketing) 3rd Year

What I like
~Sports: Bball, Soccer, Pool
~Clubbing @ Black on a Friday
~Drinking during Chalets
~Listening to my mp3s
~Gathering with my AmenZ + Sec Sch buddies. Making HELL LOTSA noise!!
~Supper with AmenZ and Alvin Cheong Kai Rhan.. wahaha

Who My Buddies Are
~Primary School: Kenneth Peh!! haha.. one lame bugger whom we still keep regular contact with.
~Secondary School : AmenZ(Top 5) + the Rest of the Gang.
~Poly: The Crazy Boys of DBA1B/23, Special Thanks to Alvin, Gabriel, Wynn who've been around when i was down. Wahaha!! Lily, My Nutty Sista...Weipeng, a good friend..

Short Facts:
- Caffeine Drinker
- Microphone User
- Inspired Biker (On Da Way)
- Crazy 4 Wheel Driver
- In a way a Bballer

U smile I smile
Song of The Day: One More Try by A1

Could be your eyes, could be your smile.
Could be the way you freed my mind.

Your precious touch caressed my soul.
You gave me everything I need, and know I'll lost.
Lost forever.

Lost forever, and you said this is going nowhere, girl.
And you said I turned my back on.
You said I'll not the only one for you.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you.

Could be the lies, could be my pride.
Could be the days and nights so wild.

Could be the times I wasn't there.
And all the nights we didn't share, and now you've lost.
Lost forever
*Knock head*
Monday. 1.3.05 11:13 pm
ARgh.. Get out!!! Go away!! Shoo!!!!! Buzz off man.... argh...... *long pia*
*Scratch head* Was on the topic on letting go of the past with a couple of friends on msn.. I suddenly felt tt my heart is long gone and i guess it wouldnt be back till after 3 yrs? Its a sad thing man.. Having a dead heart.. haha.. cant help find it funnie, yet saddening.. mp3's playing "lian shang ling yi ge ren" by you hong ming.. Been a while since i heard this song.. Suddenly i was running thru the lyrics.. and felt tt i kinda was in the same position as the story it depicts..

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http://www.boxup.com/gb/music/album/2002/3/album1342.htm
Copy paste this link, Click on Disk 2 1st Track.. The song that says it all...
OR just go to "View", "Encoding", "Chinese Simplified".. To see the lyrics

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Ouchies...
Monday. 1.3.05 3:49 pm
In my ttp lab now, feeling all queasy and such.. This sore throat is killing me, guess this is the result of the aftermath.. Was shouting and screaming my hearts out during the Sg vs Myn match. Watched it at the National Stadium.. Sheesh.. parking was horrifying.. sho sho diff to park. sho many cars.. Lucky wasnt late for the match. Lao da got the tix on tt day.. Me chan laoda nich.. was a lil uneasy at 1st.. Drizzling...Noisy yalams... haha.. well during the match, guess we all shouted cheering for the lions and jeering the hooligans.. and also.. "Refereee KELONG!!" Well half time, myn was 1 goal ahead.. Some fools from myn fans came trodding in a very arrogant look.. Smirking at our faces. hur Hur.. Well they got responses from the sg crowd like ccb, f u..etc.. I went like "Go home Dig Soil..." hohoho... hurling abuses was kinda natural for me.. Its in my nature.. Well we shifted places.. Looking towards the myn goal post... 2nd half was frantic.. Red cards.. Fights.. blah blah.. Nearing full time, sg was winning.. faster walk off to avoid traffic jams.. Just den some fight broke out on the pitch.. hahaha even at the place we sat, one miny fight went on.. haha.. and here we are.. standing just behind the myn fans.. Lol.. some idiot was cursing at us, like i didnt notice.. Well.. as wad the hokkiens may call it, i started to "kan chor way" at them also.. hahaha.. monkey see monkey i suppose.. ANOTHER fight started on the pitch.. and just to my left.. one fight betweens the sg yalams and the myn giao tor.. HAHAHA... i had to calm this angry yalam uncle down.. "Ah Bang, relac.. i sg fan also, but police coming.." hehe.. he stopped shouting and awaited the arrival of the matas..

Its was a well deserved 6bucks spent, even thu i lose 20 bucks on tt match.. pui... Throat's pretty bad, didnt even go for my morning classes.. Oh.. peiyoke had to suan me in the lift.. i guess the peeps would noe y.. tmd.. nvm lah, couldnt care less.. Throat's too sore to bother abt anything.. haiz.. i think i go back to boring ttp again..

Just another thing, feel so damn DOWN....

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1st Day of 2005...
Saturday. 1.1.05 7:00 pm
*cough...* 1st day of new year and i am sick.. down with fever and a sore throat.. sigh... bad omen.. Well was haivng fun at md's hse playing Fatal Frame.. den wynn picked me up, went to west coast.. Relived childhood memories by playing catching.. Me kelly werner wynn and huimin.. Felt very weak at md's hse le. still ate potato chips.. the spicy kind.. Thus exerting my body and subjecting it to more viruses ard, finally i couldnt take it. on the way back, ask wynn to drop me off at my hse.. Slpt at 4am.. immediately went into slp mode.. Woke up at 230pm.. Lol.. shiok.. Everything was like a blur to me.. Head's heavy.. Saw there were like 5 missed calls and 4 smses.. All asking me whether were i gg to makan bao.. Sorry my buddies.. Fever brought me down this time.. Paiseh ah..

Come to think of it, 2005 doesnt feel any special to me.. Cos my feelings were still stuck at 2004.. Sigh.. my mind wondered here and there, thinking wad if like this.. wad if like that... That aching feeling just sap thru every part of my body.. haha.. just feel that my body is but like a vessel, containing all those irritating spikes which just never seem to stop piercing..
I am not asking for sympathy, just need someone to listen... These kinda things cant be consoled, it cant be forgotten with just a snap of the finger.. All i ask is for someone to knock me on the head and let me faint for eternity... Eh wait.. i thinking too much le.. Hhahaha... i just need a person to rely on, listens to moi, and create meaningful conversations to help me thru this bad patch..

Well a good start to get pass the memories of 2004 was a new hp on 31st dec 2004~ Finally got my 7260.. Gone are the memories i have with my nokia 8250.. i shant be exposed to the logos and the msges.. even thu their keep in a folder somewhere in my new one.. Tried recording xing yang ai qing into my hp.. sounds a lil querky.. but o wad the hack.. just use it lah..

Wo neng bu neng gou fang de xia, Yi jing bu shi yi zhong xuan zhe.
Wo bu de bu fang qi, Ying wei ni yi jing zhao dao yi ge bi wo gen hao de.
Wo zhi neng di sheng de qi dao, Xin wang ta neng dai ge ni xing fu.
Shui ran wo hen nan tai qi tou, Dan shi wo hui mo mo de bao hu ni de.
Hui xiang qi wang shi the jing li, Zhe..Kong pa shi nan yi bi mian de.
Ying wei ni de xin, shi zhong, zhi neng shu yu ta ren de.
Xie xie ni dai gei wo duan zhan de kuai le, Xi wang ni ye zhe mo jue de.
Ru guo you ji hui de hua, Wo hai shi hui xuan zhe ai ni.
Yuan ying hen jian dan, Ai ni shi wo yi sheng lai zui kuai le de shi. I love u...

While typing the above para.. i couldn't hold them back.. i've broken the very 1st thing i promised myself.. Looking ard the 4 corners of my room, my emotions are screaming to be let out..
This is one swear i will stick by it.. Never will i let myself be subjected to such sadness.. never...

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The Arrival of 2005
Friday. 12.31.04 7:00 pm
2004 is coming to an end in 5 hrs time.. cant say whether i will miss it.. or cant wait for it to pass.. Its a new yr but i dun feel anything.. 1st time i am apprehending such a feeling.. so duh..
Spending the last few hrs of 2004 later with my AmenZ... 2 have gals to go out with... with the bachelors getting tgt and mourn the sorrows of the tsunami..
Well at least be4 the end of this yr.. i think things are looking to get better for the 2 friends.. Things are looking gd.. at least its something i would like to see be4 i start numbing myself.. Its sad tt i am forced to make such a decision.. Nv ever tot tt in my lifetime i'd do such a thing.. diao.. So it has it.. be4 the ending of 2004.. i will feel sad all i wan... When 2005 comes.. regret will begin but i am too far out to turn back..
Wish my family well
Wish my friends well
Wish them both well
And finally, i wish myself to get well..

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My Resolutions..
Thursday. 12.30.04 10:47 pm
Resolutions:
- To completely quit smoking
- To keep fit and prepare for NS
- To treat my friends and family better
- To overlook the bad and carry on with my life as Wid
- To social engineer myself into the world, the world of suffering...

New Year is coming, and i wun be smiling when the clock strikes twelve.. Its pains myself to even see myself in such an emotional state... Who am i to the ppl out there.. Guess i was just a fool.. I tried to be strong, i cant.. This sadness is gradually overcoming me.. I seriously dunno how long i can last.. Faking a smile.. Cracking jokes.. Luffing at jokes.. Its a mess..
Now as i listen to Josh Groban's "To Where You Are".. Very nice sentimental song.. I've been thinking lately am i a good bf to my gfs... Was i treating them well or am i just an idiot.. Think my mind has lost it.. My foolishness has gone far enough and i think its time to stop.. Whatever i do, is not my choice anymore, i may live to regret it but i have no other way out.. The familar piercing of the heart is aching so bad its choking.. The trembling of my veins are deafening.. I am on the brim of insanity.. Exaggerating but sadly, true
I just wanna break out of the bustling city and scream.. exasperated... totally.. BUT... i always have this ironic feeling.. there is always a weakness...soft spot or simply dumb .. which ever way ppl call it.. I dunno hoe they see me as now.. My intentions were always clear.. simple.. but its wonderfully amazing how ppl can twist it ard...
I aint no pillar of support, i am not a friend.. I am just a stinking Wid.. Social engineering the lads.. Without hope, the heart just lies.. Above the broken skies, where Wid can see the light..
Freaking slpy right now, couldnt get to slp till the wee hours of the morning.. Tmr will be a long day.. shld be gg out with the AmenZ... As the new year approaches.. I naturally wonder what it would be like if.......

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I Am Wid...
Thursday. 12.30.04 1:12 am
Hm.. i've decided to change my name to Wid.. luff at this name for all i care.. But hope u guys can get used to calling me Wid.. Sigh.. Its been a bad yr end for me.. very bad.. I cant imagine the feelings i have inside me.. God Damn It.. I've been a stupid stupid fool for so so long.. It pains.. It hurts.. Saw a friend feeling very sad in the lecture hall today... Affected me in a way.. sadded too.. Hahah.. and i cant imagine tt after so long, my vexness is still lingering.. and i know y.. Ho Ho Ho.. Cant stop thinking tt i've been a fool.. So stupid.. Utterly stupid..
Next few nights will be rough.. extremely rough in fact.. Just feel that my world came crashing down.. I was in no position to bother about other things, but i did.. Now i find out tt i aint needed.. it was all along a one sided affair.. Guess i asked for it.. It hurts and i think my guts are choking me.. I am just too sick to think about it.. True i am weak.. Weakest amongst my AmenZ, Weakest amongst my poly friends, Weakest amongst my family... I almost couldnt hold back my.... haiz..
Hao Ben Ah... Did all those thinking.. even wanted to call ppl i dunno.. even this even tt.. haha.. its been a wild ride.. now wilson has come to a stop.. wilson is over.. now only wid is here.. Good nite..

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