Remember how we were walking around downtown Saturday night? And I was singing at the top of my lungs? I may not have been anywhere near on key but you must admit that there was a fullness in my voice. Well take that voice and think of the exact opposite. Then rape it, chop it in a hundred pieces and burn that sonofabitch in hydrochloric acid for about an hour and you'll have my present voice. I blame you. Yes, you my friends. You didn't do the hookah forcing ranor and I to finish an entire one each on our own. I have finals next week ppl! How is it that I'm always able to fuck myself over at vital eductaional moments such as this? I don't really blame you, you healthy pinked lunged smooth esophogused bastards. I'm such a dipshit. grr. Actually I'm unable to go 'grr' or breathe for that matter. *cough* ouchy ouchy ouchy

This is not a cold. I don't have a runny nose or chills and my lymphs are not inflamed. So I'm thinking this is the beginning of a respiratory infection. great . . . Nyquil can't help me now but that didn't stop me from popping those lovely green gel capsules one after the other. I like the numbness. I can't feel the raw dry tissue in my throat burning with every breath. In fact it has almost been 6 hours since my last dose, I think I'm ready for another. . .

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Finally,  the guys side of the story.

      We always  hear "the rules" from the female
side. Now here are the  rules from the male  side. These are our rules!
Please note...these  are all numbered "1"  ON  PURPOSE!

      1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big
girl. If it's up,  put  it down. We need it up, you need it down. You
don't hear us complaining  about you leaving it down.

      1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or
the changing of the  tides.  Let it be.

      1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,  we are
never going to think of  it that way.

      1. Crying is  blackmail.

      1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on
this one:   Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
hints do not work! Just say it!

      1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost  every
      question.

      1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help  solving it.
      That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are  for.

      1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a  doctor.

      1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible  in an argument.  In
      fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

      1. If you won't  dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
      us to act like soap opera  guys.

      1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.   Don't ask  us.

      1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
      ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other   one.

      1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
      done.  Not both. If you already  know best how to do it, just do it
      yourself.

      1. Whenever possible, please  say whatever you  have to say during
      commercials.

      1. Christopher Columbus  did not need directions   and neither do we.

      1. ALL men see in only 16  colors, like Windows default settings.
      Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a  color. Pumpkin is also a
      fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

      1. If it  itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

      1. If we ask what is wrong and  you say "nothing," we will act like
      nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but  it  is just not worth the
      hassle.

      1. If you ask a question you don't want  an answer to, expect an
      answer you don't want to hear.

      1. When we have to  go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
      fine...Really.

      1. Don't ask  us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
      discuss such topics as  baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
      trucks.

      1. You have enough  clothes.

      1. You have too many shoes.

      1. I am in shape. Round is a  shape.

      1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
      couch tonight, but did you know men really don't  mind that, it's like
      camping.

      Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a  laugh.

      Pass this to as many women as you can - to give
them a bigger  laugh!!

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Just got home. Great night. Thanks for coming everyone. Dinner was great. Hookah was fun. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves as much as I did.



11 more days to go!

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The Bond Between Sisters is so hard to break

VeggieGirl100: ok its not cool to talk to blood related ppl online, so no offense but go away
Joiboi83: :-(
VeggieGirl100: yeah yeah get over c ya
Joiboi83: ok
JoiBoi83: I'm just going to sit in the corner and slash my wrists now
VeggieGirl100: hey thats wut i do dont copy me
JoiBoi83: lol
JoiBoi83: . . . ?
VeggieGirl100: then again go ahead
JoiBoi83: thanks
VeggieGirl100: yeah sure bye i dont like talking to two ppl [simultaneously] anyway

god I hate her

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I was talking with a friend the other day about those missionary agencies that send people to 3rd world countries to help teach the kids there and build homes. I talked about someday adopting a child from a 3rd world country and bringing him here. She asked my why I would adopt a child from another country and not here. I told her that the child that was born in the United States already has a great start on life. That child has every opportunity available at his or her fingertips. As for the 3rd world child, he has nothing. At very least I would feel that I would be making a bigger difference in the life of 3rd world child than in the life of one lucky enough to be born on this soil.

Her father was hospitalized last friday. We were suppose to go to a formal event but I wasn't sure if I should go without her. I didn't want my other friend to think I was only going because of my first friend. But I figured that I couldn't do anything for her anyway so I went. I had nothing to say. No words of comfort. I can't even imagine what she is going through. I want to send her flowers or chocolates. I want to take her out to dinner or to the mall. But that all seems trivial. Ridiculous that any of those things would make her feel better. So what do I do? Wait and Listen and Be there when she calls? Ok, I can do that.

On another note, he called and left a message, wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and to see if I was busy over the holiday weekend. Luckily i'm uber busy or I just might have called him back. Don't worry, I'm not planning to call him or see him.

Fortunately enough Andi will be coming back one last time and she has a way of taking my mind off things. I'm so excited!

What a boring entry

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Once again my mother has decided to move things around the damn house. Actually I'm the one moving most of them- shelves, books, tables, plants, beds, boxes, animals, chairs, computers, tvs . . . And to top it off, my grandma is here.

She's mad at me again. I'm not quite sure why. Wednesday she got a call from the computer lab at school saying that they found a cell phone and the number they called was listed under Mom's Cell. But she didn't even tell me that they had called or that I had lost my cell. Seannie told me on line Thursday afternoon. I don't think that's it though. She was upset with me before Wednesday. I know she doesn't like it when I go to the gym late at night. She's convinced that I will be raped and murdered or that I'll gt into a car accident. Usually as I leave the house she'll say something like, "If it is really worth your life." Is going to the gym really worth risking my life? WHAT RISK? I have done so much shit that she knows nothing about. And I came through all of it without her. Without her support. without her advice. without her interest. Even in high school she didn't think I could start a club that people would be committed to, I guess she was right about that. But was that on me or on my classmates? Why did she make me feel like it was all my fault? That it was one more thing I could add to my list of failures? The one thing I love aboput my NASA Internship is that I found out about it all on my own. I sent in the application. I wrote my own resume and went to workshops to polish it. She may have driven me to the interviews, but it was me answering questions, it was my skills, my personality. I opened my own bank account, I pay for my own gas and food. She doesn't think I'm saving anything- Hell I have money put aside for retirement already.

I should prolly get a job lined up for next year. My internship ends in December. I can't support myself witout a job.

I can't recall my mother ever telling me that she believed in me. That she thought I could accomplish anything on my own. She reminds me that I am independent, that I always have been. But what does that really mean? I've always relied on myself because there was no one else there for me to rely on. Except my friends. But I don't live with my friends. You could argue that I don't live with my family either. Did you know I'm the only Pascual in the house. Everyone else carries the last name Arce. Seannie use to be a Fennely, but mom had that changed when Seannie was still very young. Why wasn't I made an Arce? I'm also the darkest and have the straight hair. I'm a square peg in a house full of round holes. I am the question mark.

I wish I could hate her. I wish I could make a difference in the way she sees me. I wish I didn't have to wish for anything.



It is cold in this house


and lonely

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