Well, I'm back to editing my novel. It just is a matter of getting things moving again. I think I will have to create more side plots, but for the time being, it seems to be chugging along.

My homework is going the same way. I don't want to work on it, but at least I have a start on it.

I volunteered at the shelter again. I helped this little pup calm down. We stayed in the same room for about two hours to get him to do it. I taught him how to sit and we are getting good at making him lie down, too. The concept of the leash still escapes him, but I think that we might eventually get that part down, too. It was sad to leave him though. We had played for a such a long time, but when I started to leave, he started to howl in that heart wrenching way that made me feel like I was abandoning him. He probably felt like I was. He had just started to figure me out and there I was, walking out of his life, maybe forever!

After that I went to one of those make-up buying parties. It was weird... I put all this expensive makeup on and I... looked exactly how I normally do. Its like, "oh wait.. looks like you have dust on your face." So yeah, I feel bad about not buying from this poor girl, but I just don't think I have room in my budget for non-functioning makeup and auxillary lotion/face cleanser.

In summary: nothing extradordinarily good or bad. Of course you know what they say, "no news is good news" so... I suppose all of this is good news!

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So, I finally got back to editing my book! Hurray! The novel, which should have been completed months ago, has been occupying the back burner territory of my mind for just as much time as I have been ignoring it. The only problem, however, is that I am making massive revisions on it... only to realize why I didn't want to write it in the first place. The interal conflict goes as follows:

Me ed.: Okay, so if we put these scenes in this order, we can create a character arch that goes as follows. This will allow the scene written later to fit into the general flow of the story, does that make sense?

Me writer: That sounds really cool!

Me ed.: All that leaves us is a couple more scenes to write with these specifications here, here and here!

Me writer: That won't work.

Me ed.: Why not?!?!

Me writer: because those characters aren't doing anything interesting.

Me ed.: can't you make it interesting?!?!

Me writer: no... they aren't doing anything! This is what they are doing, you can't change the facts!

Me ed.: ... yes you can.

Me writer: Well YEAH! But it won't be REALISTIC?!?!?!

Me ed.: Oh.. right.. and vampires and werewolves are?

Me writer: shut up.

Me ed.: (shakes head) You are never going to finish this.

So yeah... it's a mess and I can't figure it out. Not to mention, I keep adding subplot to keep myself interested. This book will come out finally and everyone will fall asleep on the first page. You'll see me on a street with a sign being like, "hey! does anyone want to buy a book! Please? PLEASE!?" Yeah... and then you will walk away because you feel bad but you don't feel that bad. I mean of course people will read it! Because I am an optimist?! Yeah... I need sleep.

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So, I heard in book arts class today that they are going to ask for your DNA and stuff in the future in order for you to get an ID...

I don't know if it's true. I googled it and it barely even came up except on forum sites. I know they have the technology, but... creepy. I don't think people will stand for it. I know that it shouldn't be a big deal but... NO! It's my skin cells, blood cells, eyelash cells and you are NOT using it to track me! I mean, it's like one big future horror story. In fact I may write one:

"In the future... everyone is forced to release their DNA just to get a driver's liscense... cloning... rising crime... and people are not just stealing you ID number anymore... they are stealing you life!"

Seriously though, I feel safe being identified by a number. I mean the number doesn't really have any control over me and what? Someone is paying taxes under my name? I mean, you don't give out you ssn to get a credit card, so I don't see why identification is such a big deal. Oh look, you need it to leave the country, oooh noooo! Someone forged a passport to get out of the country!!!... and get back in. The point is that I don't see why they have to steal my DNA. It may not be my right to drive, but it is certainly important and its almost... extortion to steal your DNA.... come to think of it though, they did fingerprint me when I got my liscense renewed... oh goll.

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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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Wow... it's really amazing how much HTML you remember. I mean... I still don't know how to make this text go to the top... but I will just write enough to make it work. Anyway, I guess I should tell you how my project went. Bleh... So yeah, here are the pictures. So, I am going to try to be more patient. We were reading the end of the Ephesians, you know the part that says that you really just have to stick it out and be the best person you can because it's about God, not about them? Yeah... and that's what we were talking about in bible study and it made me feel a little bad. Okay, so a lot bad. I mean, it's not like I'm "quick to anger" or anything? I have been fighting off bad feeling about her since a month after she got here. Sucks when you can't start over with people, you know? So yeah, I'm going to just be REALLY nice to for the next couple of weeks, for God... because He deserves a little effort on my part.

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So I'm in the basement of the graphics room... and then mac next to me has its screensaver on. Innocuous enough, except out of the corner of my eye, it seems like there is someone there and I look over there... nothing! It's like the computer is breathing, this nearly organic algorithm.

So... I'm not happy with either of my projects... I said to myself, "I am going to stay up all night and get these things looking good... but I'm beginning to think that art just doesn't work like that... or I don't, who knows. Am I lazy? I worked over sixteen hours on one of my projects and about five hours on the other one and I'm just burnt out. This is one of those occasions that I wish I could pause time and just decompress for some time.

The funny part about all of this is all I want to do is for school to get out so that I can really focus on my book. I want to live like James Michner, get up every day, work like a crazy person all morning, go play tennis and then work on research for all of the afternoon. I mean how cool would that be? I mean, I already try to do that. I'll go all the way to the library to look up books on blood diseases to create some sort of reality for my characters. I want to learn more about hospitals and vampires and how fast a person can run and how many days would it take for this to heal and how long would it take for that to heal and write source sheets for how werewolves work! I want to go outside and spend three hours just taking pictures of squirrels and crows and rabbits and writing about how all of them come together for a potluck and how the squirrels bring the nuts and the rabbits bring the carrots and the crows bring the french fires! And then I get to draw crow dragging around these full cartons of McDonald's french fries except without the logo...

It's my secret life, my all consuming passion that I get to spend... oh 3% of my time doing, if that. :( So, I am going to go home and write. If there is anything brilliant that comes to me about my project... so be it.

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