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What is in the very core of your soul? Staggering around the room, scared and suspicious, you get to the peephole on your door.

Your door has 4 locks, you hold on the knob not to open the door, but to support you as you stare through the peephole. And on the peephole, you see through the hallway of your floor.

In this peephole no one can be seen. In fact, there are a lot of people who cannot be seen through the peephole as it limits your vision and angles.

The strangest thing is, we believe we can see everything in that peephole. We believe that our door with 4 locks will protect us from everything we believe is out there, out in the open and unruly wild.

And yet we do know we have to open that door sometime, and go out, survive. Something in us will force us out to the open, and open the 4 locks that we presume keeps us safe.

We stagger back to the living room, with the comfort that there is nothing out that door that could ever harm us.

How safe do we really think we are with a door with 4 locks? Does it need more? Or was one sufficient enough? How smart do we think we are keeping the world out to keep ourselves safe?

If the world is after us, it will haunt us, and the 4 locks will not be enough to keep us safe.

In the meantime, we have just jailed ourselves, with our choice to live our lives, we choose not to. Our door has more locks than a prison cell, as we pretend the whole world around is in jail and we aren’t.

And life will keep on haunting you, and haunting you, until you lock yourself in the casket, where you will be buried 6 feet below ground, by this time, there is no need for a peephole, as there is no need to open the door, and if there is ever a need, you won’t have the ability.

In this grim and silent comfort you can no longer move. It will be in this inability to move that kills a man, and not merely the end of life.

Life is, after all, lived through making waves in a pond, like a rock thrown to it, and not the rock in the bottom of the pond, of which we fail to realize exist.

Existence is to leave the door open, and walk out of the room, and breathe, the air might not be fresh, but in the very least, it is different.

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I tried this little test and this is the result:


Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 85% Spider-Man 75% Iron Man 70% Wonder Woman 63% Supergirl 63% The Flash 60% Batman 55% Superman 55% Catwoman 50% Hulk 40% Robin 30%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

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A once more popular phrase, "Looking for intelligent life in outer space? We still cannot find any intelligent life here on Earth!" always lived in the philosophy of Derek Schmidt, a tired, bureaucrat going to his research building and answering wide eyed college student dreams with brochure-worded questions on what are the plans for the space program and how far has the research gone for the extra terrestrials. Like anyone working for the government, he knew diplomacy enough to be promoted into a spokesperson for a space program research who has no real plans of flying a space ship out in the sky, but to only fulfill every employees' dream in that office, to keep getting their paycheck every 15 days until they retire, where they will get their pension.
It will be difficult to know what Derek really wants to say in his mind, as he keeps his false smile and sense of humor to answering our interviews, he seems to know how to evade all other questions, or make things vague, like a religious leader. But he knows something, and while he might not know much about what is their space program really doing, he has something in his mind he must have been keeping there, along with what all the other scientists think.
All it actually took was getting him out of the office, like a good friend, and two glasses of beer, he's off to talking.
Apparently, the space program has only gone as far as making paper and aluminum wrap renditions of a space ship, they filled the bottom part of the space ship with enough fireworks to send the space ship a good 3 miles into the air, and placed the first creature to be sent to space, a hamster, on the cockpit. 20 seconds after, when the fireworks bought from
Chinatownstarted to show its colors, was just wonderful colors in the morning sky, just like the 4th of July. The spaceship was definitely obliterated, and the hamster fell disgustingly dead into a cake of a 7 year old's outdoor birthday party. While this scared the kids, the adults ended up wondering where in the world did a blown up hamster come from, out the sky.
But more than the several attempts of shooting creatures from firework rockets, and the Lego model of "a more flexible way of making a spaceship" idea, was the ongoing philosophy found in a man who was once a wide eyed college student wanting to go to the moon, now, 20 years later, not seeing that happening apparently his whole life.
"What is the definition of intelligent beings anyway? We are not that intelligent, we are governed, like animals, in a more complex form of instinct, living off our need to survive and keep all the body organs happy. What would intelligence be, then?" Derek, like many rational scientists, do not seem to believe in free will. "In the infinite vastness of the universe, there had to be a more advanced group of beings somewhere, who also have a sky, and being more advanced, shot off themselves instead of hamsters into orbit, to visit other beings as well. But if the other creatures are not as intelligent, would they be visited? Is it possible, that in their search of intelligent being they have decided to skip our world as we are not as intelligent as we thought we are? Would we do the same?"
"What if they don't have a sky to look up to? Or they never did look up? Would they ever wonder what is beyond their planet? What lies out there? Or do they ever care? WHY HASN'T ANYONE VISITED US? More confusingly, why are Americans the only ones who are seemingly being abducted and prodded in the anus all the time?"
He has been a rather frustrated scientist, who has spent his whole life dedicated to raising his family, his only remaining purpose, with his dream not becoming a reality after all.
The drive home was rather usual, just like every drive. It is a little more wary to look up the sky, as you don't know what may fall on your face. But irregardless, when something would fall on you, it will fall on you, and you will still have to look up and wonder, like an idiot, on where it came from, without considering to properly go take shelter and watch from a safe distance, that it might fall again. But it is our hard drive on curiosity that has evolved us after all, the stupidity of going beyond our instinct to try to seek protection, and instead dream and wonder on what is out there, that has evolved us to who we are.
And it just makes us wonder, what was the hamster thinking a few seconds before the rocket blew up? Being miles from the Earth, looking into the sky.

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: Literature (Haresh Daswani) [t], Comedy [t], short story [t]

Ever tried to read a story with your eyes closed?
Ever tried to taste the spices in conversations…
Ever found sense in nonsense?
Lingering thoughts that go astray,
And was discovered to go somewhere,
A serendipity of dreaming,
Lines of thoughts stream,
Like the cloud on the windshield this afternoon,
During a trip unplanned,
And ended up in a bar,
All alone with nothing,
But table napkins,
In an isolated table,
And conversations,
Hundreds on tables,
Seem to dissolve,
And conversations,
Millions in the mind,
Seem to come alive…

How notorious could wisdom be,
When it hits you,
As you dream with your eyes open,
And as sense comes in,
There goes the cloud,
As just the cloud you found a similarity too…

Ever sang?
With your drink,
Your only listener,
Quiet,
Without applause,
Was is better than criticism?
Best drank than pondered???

And through the drive home,
The world was ignored,
As all that is seen is the bed,
In a few moments,
Dreams will continue,
Beautiful dreams,
As beautiful as the city at night,
The quiet city at night…

Comment! (0) | Recommend! (1) | Categories: Literature [t], Writings by Haresh Daswani [t]

THE HUNGER SITE


visiting the site draw revenue for them to donate food (or so they say)

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Hmdaswani (Confidentially hiding my name) January 12, 2003
4 EB


Breakthrough

Characters:

Ray
Mat
Dan
Kim

Scenes:

Left half of the stage contains a modern bar with the design idea used for bars which managers and bankers go to.

Right side is blank. Scenery materials are added according to plans in script.

(Stage is dark, light is focused on Ray only)

Ray: Define emotions, an irrational reaction to a situation, stimuli that has not gone through a thorough perspective check. It involves filtration to what the person wants to believe, thus causing exaggeration. People tend to put more beauty to what is merely a projection of one’s instinct to. There is the territorial and competitive instinct that people go through that causes all these negative behavior triggering instincts which provoke fights, confrontations, revenge and even death. What a wonderful cycle.
It does sound harsh, right? But that thought is emotions.

Now, all these “feel” gives you a reason you think validates anger. The clouded irrational perception gives reason to extremism. Suddenly, things that make sense, ethics, was removed and replaced with emotions. ETHICS AND EMOTIONS ARE DIFFERENT THINGS. In the end, following the objective good was replaced with subjective good, which can be messed up all along. OK, example, Concentration camps, Religious extremism, rallies against men and women taking their clothes of for peace.

(bar becomes lively)
Hey, are you guys even listening? Was I just giving a monologue? Did I suddenly look like a schizophrenic?

Dan: No no, I was listening, you WEREN’T a schizophrenic. YOU WERE JUST BORING! I mean, COME ON! We came here to drink MAN! Just don’t say those things to me again, let’s savor the moment and the chicks. (passes a bottle to Ray and Mat)

(all) CHEERS.

Mat: Ray! Dude! Check out the bitch in red! Hehehe! I think I’m in love man! Ever fallen in love Ray?

Ray: Love? An emotional response based on infatuation, dependency, and the idea of egoism? Falling for beauty based on culture and experience telling you what you find beautiful? While you think she’s your perfect chick, you filter away all her flaws, and when you take all that good for granted, BOOM! She’s the last bitch you wanna be with. What’s the question again?

Mat: Uh, shit I forgot. Heck, let’s drink to that! Cheers!

(all) Cheers

(light goes dark. Light focuses on Ray and all is silent.

Whisper: Over at the side! Over at the side! Woman in white! Woman in white!

(another spotlight opens focusing on the girl)

(ray is staring at Kim who is looking elsewhere for 5 seconds, then they stare at each other for 5 seconds)

(bar becomes lively and noisy again)

(mat notices Ray staring)

Mat: What is happening to mr. Rationality eh? What’s this? Lust? HAH! Even you fall prey to the face of an angel you sick dick!

Ray: Even rational men do have appreciation for beauty, the symmetry of the face, the preference of facial bone structure, complexion, and… (sighs) the eyes.
But where did lust fucking came from? Heck, that didn’t even cross my mind!

Dan: Ray Ray, are you redefining love now? Hehehehe! You even became fucking speechless when she came in! You’re the one who started all these nonsense that you can’t even answer.

Ray: There is always an explanation to this point. Men do have their preferences when it comes to the opposite sex. Due to culture they get “conditioned” to what they would define as beautiful. Beauty is something that makes you want. We are programmed to want what our culture conditions us to choose. Thus, causing our definition of beauty. If beauty was on the eyes of the beholder. Then why in the world do we have supermodels huh? Why do many people find certain people appealing? Instinct just kicked in, there is this instinct insisting us to try to win the person supposedly “superior” in their breed. We look at body and face. End of the day it is to come up with the most appealing offspring. Nature’s wonderful facts.

Dan: You’re starting again Ray, lets just drink!

(all): Cheers

(lights all go off)

(lights go on again, signaling the next day they meet up, green carpets looking like grass is added on the right side)

Ray: (tired, sitting down, sighs) Another day of monotonous routine. When will we graduate?

Dan: One more sem! Just one more sem! Lets enjoy it while it lasts! We won’t be going here as often anymore when we’re busy with work!

Mat: We won’t? Shit man! Fuck you you bastard guy! I mean, I’ll still make it a point to meet up at least thrice a week.

Dan: And

Mat: Do what we always do man! Dig out the chicks! Drinky winky! Boys will be boys!

Dan: Mat, Mat, Mat. You won’t realize how tired you’ll get after work man. You’ll end up at home, staring at the TV, wearing a toupee, just like your dad! At least, your dad has a wife.

Mat: Hey, my dad ain’t bald. There’s just a lot of skin on his head I won’t end up wearing a toupee. Or even stay at home. But getting lucky is another story. I got this chick last night man! She was quite a sight except for the Adam’s apple.

Ray: Adams apple?....

Mat: Don’t interrupt! Anyway, I was just chatting with her until the night passed. I brought her to my place, and I was getting romantic and all. We were French kissing for an hour man! I was touching her everywhere, but when I wanted to go further, she backed out and said she has her period thingy. She said if I’d still want to do it, it better be dark, and only in the ass. Well, I was feeling x-rated, so… what the hell!.

Ray: Yuck! That’s disgusting!

Dan: Yak!!! Waiter beer

Mat: What? What’s wrong with you guys? She’s my new love man!

Ray: You are fucking stupid!

Mat: Have you even met her?

Dan: Her?!?!, do they call them her now? I think shim is the word.

Mat: Fuck you Dan! I never insult about your 15 year old chicks dude. You’re the one who’s sick! You pervert, pedophile!

Ray: Adam’s apple? Women don’t have Adam’s apple.

Dan: Did you ever wonder why she wanted it in the dark?

Mat: Soo? What’ your point?

(3 second stares)

Mat: SHIT! FUCKED UP! AAAAAAHHHH GODDDDD!!!! (exits the stage)

Ray: I bet you he won’t leave the shower for a week.

Dan: What an unlucky man. It looks like the other guy who blew his arm off during new year’s will still be more thankful.

Ray: Hehehe! Cheers dude!

Dan: Cheers (toasts)

(Kim enters, Ray stares blankly)

Dan: Cupid hit you again eh! Let me see (stares). Good! No Adam’s apple. Fine specimen you got there boy! (hits the arm, shocks Ray and stares at Dan) What are you waiting for? GO FOR HER MAN! (Screamed loud, everyone kept quiet and stared at them)

(Ray stares at Dan)

(Everyone resumes)

Ray: That was pretty loud. But what do I intend to get out of the whole thing? A night of orgasm? Or a person who I will end up spending the rest of my life with on a monotone routine? Pride for getting her? Another person who will help pay the rent? All these relationships don’t make much sense. It is like…

Dan: You sitting down here analyzing what excuse to give me doesn’t make much sense does it? Either you go there and get her number and start making noises on the phone or you finish what seems to be a bottle of warm beer here and bore me to death… forget it, even I won’t even listen to this, I’ll go there and get lucky with ms. Smok-aholic! (goes to a woman smoking on the bar)

Ray: (all alone on the table, staring at the bottle) Fuck! I’ll just go for it. (walks to Kim and stares at her in the eye)

Kim: Oh hi there. I’m Kim. (smiles)

Ray: (Grinning, staring) Uh. Kim! Nice name! (blankly stares at the floor for what to say)

Kim: Right, nice to meet you! (walks away)

Ray: Wait! My name is… (walks to Kim)

Kim: Yes?

Ray: Ray! Me… Ray! I mean… I’m Ray! Nice to meet you!

Kim: Well! That took a little time. You should keep a card with your name written on it.

Ray: Sorry about that, just got lost there for a second. Let me get you a drink!

Kim: Thanks! But I can’t stay too long, got to work on my paper tonight.

Ray: Sure sure! Tell me more about you.

Kim: Well! I’m taking up a major in literature, I’m on my final year. My parents want me to go into law but I just don’t feel like taking it, it looks long and boring. Anyway, I don’t want to bore you with all that nonsense. I just watched Father of the Bride on HBO last night and it was so beautiful. I finished a box of Kleenex crying when she was finally gone from home and, and, it was…. SAD! (cries a little) to leave her family, the people who really loved her and took care of her and the next day, poof! Gone, sayonara, adios, gone… But the way the wedding looked, beautiful. I want my wedding to be like that. How about you?

Ray: (staring with indifference) Human beings do represent this emotion based on immersion on fiction and exaggeration. They are connected with this sort of dependency where the parental instinct takes care of the child and the child feels the whole obligation to reciprocate. Now with the absence of somebody, they tend to look at it as if the person passed away when they are a mere phone call away. What’s the difference when she went to study abroad and now that she’s married? On both occasions she wasn’t home, but there was a phone, email, video conferencing. End of the day, they can still talk to each other.

Kim: (staring in disbelief) Where are you from? K-Pax? You’re very insensitive you know. I’ve never met a guy who talks like that.

Ray: I’m just stating my opinion

Kim: Well you shouldn’t! (crying) Leave me alone

Ray: (trying to figure out how to comfort her) Uhhhh… There, there??? Should I pat you on the back? Will that help you stop crying?

Kim: (looking at Ray in disbelief, stops crying, laughs hard) That’s funny! I like that in a guy! You’re cute! By the way, gotta go, thanks! (leaves)

Ray: (stares in confusion) What? (sips beer)

(Lights go off, bench added in right stage)

(Lights go on, only Ray and Dan sitting down)

Dan: Hey, What happened to Mattie boy? He didn’t come to class today either. Still in the shower eh? (drinks beer) What happened to you last night?

Ray: I just went to start a conversation. She started crying, then she laughed. I didn’t get it.

Dan: Hehehe! Mr. Genius in confused! That’s a first.

(light darkens, spotlight goes to both Ray and Dan)

Ray: The female species can be confusing. They can easily forget something for the moment and change to another mood. I do find it quite strange that a slight opinion can change the whole aspect of her judgment and exaggerates her view of a person and his personality. What are they looking for in a guy anyway?

Dan: Love

Ray: Love? That’s a superficial statement of talks and dependency, infatuation…

Dan: Fuck Ray! Don’t analyze love! Just love!!! Just ask yourself, could you see yourself with her 50 years from now side by side on the park at night? Sitting on the bench, looking on the stars? You can be smart and everything but there is more to it than just numbers and if statements. Life is not just choosing options, you should let the boat drift and enjoy the view.

Ray: But what’s the point? Stars are mere hot rocks out there in the universe

Dan: (Interrupts) Fuck that and all your science Ray! Fuck the whole love analysis and just love! Fuck your definition of beauty and appreciate God’s work! Do you think that all these things in life, all these complexities, all these science, all these emotions, the moon and the sun, THE SUNSET! Do you think they will exist without God? They can’t! And he made the world beautiful, but with math to keep it running, but math doesn’t matter when you are with your loved one staring at the stars… Just hold her hand and don’t think numbers, feel what they are making you feel, and just sit there. Fuck the whole dependency and infatuation shit, just sit by her. If she wants to be with you forever, and you don’t mind sitting there, watching the stars with her forever, then you’re meant for each other.

Ray: Just when I thought I know everything. I know nothing. Just when I thought you know nothing, you know what I don’t know.

(lights go back to normal)

Dan: No one knows anything Ray. No one. And that’s what makes life worth living. The challenge of discovering more. The challenge of perfecting oneself. And you can make yourself more perfect with a complement. Go for her dude… I will just go there and make the girl in black scream in delight tonight at her place… (winks, exits)

(lights go off, lamps are added to the scenery, and backdrop of starry night)
(moments later, Kim enters, 2 spotlights)

Ray: Will you join me?

Kim: Sure

Ray: Forever?

Kim: What???

Ray: I mean, I want to spend my days, sitting with you in the park at night, watching the stars, until the sunrise that God has created.

Kim: I barely know you. And you barely know me. We don’t even know each other! And you, the man from planet K-Pax, should think about all that stuff you think about before getting into a commitment.

Ray: I don’t have to. Strange enough, I feel it, 50 years from now I want to still be beside you on a bench beneath the stars, holding your hand. I want to marvel at God’s creation, as he is taking care of us with his math.

Kim: Those are the sweetest words I’ve ever heard…
Ray: (a little confused) I’m still learning emotions, I am willing to learn from you forever…

(Ray stands up and leads Kim from the chair to the park scenery at the right, he sits her down and sits beside her)

Ray: I don’t mind doing this everyday for 50 years.

Kim: Staring at the stars, holding your hands (holds Ray’s hands)

Ray: (confused) I have this strange feeling in my chest and these… butterflies in the stomach, it feels good… What is it?

Kim: Love?

Ray: It must be (hugs Kim as they both look at the sky)

Comment! (3) | Recommend! (3) | Categories: Humor [t]

I have added horror poetries in my Reading area. Be warned, I wrote these things around 4 to 6 years ago... The same time I was very much into horror movies, they might scare some kids.

I was very much into horror movies, stories, and all the other stuff... Learned my first major lesson - Do not watch the Exorcist, or the Omen, or The Ring, alone...

Do not think about who might appear in your mirror when you shave or brush your teeth

Do not think that someone might stick their hand up your ass from the bowl while taking a crap

Do not think that someone will grab your bedsheets when you sleep

Do not think of funny noises coming out of the sink at night while sleeping

If you do, you will be a pretty messed up person later...

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: Horror Stories [t], Poetries [t]