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Who's this Gal?


alexxasick
Age. 44
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. mexican
Location Chihuahua, Mexico
School. Other
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My Readings/writings are not for minors please be careful
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    the weather
    The WeatherPixie
    A little tale called: Hope
    Thursday. 4.12.07 2:21 am
    watching: Wonder Boys
    mood: depressed

    She walked out the door thinking I was asleep, but I saw her grabbing the coat she left folded in the chair by the door, and then walk outside without even a second look inside of the miniature apartment where I live.
    You know how in movies a damaged person meets another damaged person and they know each other in unfortunate circumstances, and they understand the other in ways nobody understood them before, and then they find the way to repair their lives?

    Well, in real life you meet another damaged person, and she or he understands, but cannot help. She is the damaged person I think I understand, and who is the closest to understand what I've been through. No damage in this world is the same to different people, even if their experiences are similar.

    She left her watch by the sink and her smell in the sheets of my bed. I felt so relieved when I see the cheap little piece of jewellery, yet I feel more relieved about her absence. I hope she won't call yet, I hope she won notice her watch is missing, I hope I don't have to see her again soon, even though I know I'm always the first to call.

    In the street downstairs a drunk pisses leaned on a telephone pole.

    The night arrived with the sound of the cars racing, and the cheers of the drunks, and the fights from the bars, and her legs entwined with mine.

    She spoke to my ear all the evening, in her slow, lazy voice, the one she uses with the persons who sleep with her, so different to her classes voice. And different too to the voice she commands the waiter when she orders in a restaurant. I sometimes wish that this kind of voice were only for me but I know I'm only one of many, many damaged people she sleeps with.

    II get dressed and go out a few minutes after she left, giving her some time so I won't run into her.

    I need a drink. The air is sweet and cold. Night starts early in this part of the city, and there's already people puking in the corners.

    I need a drink so I won't feel the need of calling her.

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    lately this is how I feel
    Monday. 4.9.07 4:56 am
    Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

    I feel so different in this city >_< everyone in here thinks I'm crazy because I dont want to get married or have children, because I like forensic psychology instead of child psychology

    bleh I just feel lonely...

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    treat
    Saturday. 4.7.07 9:02 pm
    a friend treat me into this:
    http://www.i-doser.com
    It has been a very interesting experience xD

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    The Circus
    Wednesday. 4.4.07 2:34 pm
    My father is very fan of the circus and yesterday this circus arrived a few blocks from my house and nobody wanted to go with him xD not even my niece and nephew, so I volunteered I hate clowns but I like to see what human bodies can do and I can't do, so I went.
    It was pretty depressing, it is a small very very low budget circus, run mostly by the sons of the former circus crew, the older was a guy 19-20 years old, the younger was about 7 years old, and there were like 3 old fat guys, prolly the fathers of all the kids, they looked more like playing to make circus than having a circus per se, most of 'em were 14-17 years old.
    They had this elephant.... oh my god the poor old thing, it was so thin and sad, he entered the stage backwards I think he was afraid of his trainer... Poor poor elephant
    they also had a goat and a llama they looked better but not entirely happy animals.

    Man, I'm still depressed.

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    :(
    Monday. 3.26.07 7:59 pm
    Last year I applied for a contest for goverment money to do my research, my research is about child friendship, and results came out yesterday and my research is not in it, just because is social science, they preferred investigations about materials and engineering, and gave money to only two social science related investigations, and both are about things we already know, and things that have already economic backup. they didn't saw my research is unique, that there's little and almost no literature on the subject.... I'm disappointed and sad.
    _Fucking close minded dinosaurs, they'll never let México grow.

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    I have a new writting
    Thursday. 3.22.07 10:50 pm
    It's a little story I wrote about 8 years ago, but the first time I wrote it was in Spanish and was a little less believable...
    It's not for minors since it has violence and rape. Its not a cute story is sad but I've been thinking about this character for like a week and wanted to rewrite this story

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    did you know
    Tuesday. 3.20.07 2:00 am

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    freaking out
    Monday. 3.19.07 5:31 pm
    I have so much to do and I don't feel like doing it
    too much work without pay >_< I hate it

    Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories:

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