not much happened today. i jus hope i didnt scare off my crush (look to last entry) last nite. i talked to him 4 like 15or 20 minutes last nite. he seemed nice and he didn't seem bored or scared, but if you think about it, i scare alot of people, so i cant b sure. he did seem to be almost avoiding me. from what i saw, he was sort've watching me from afar...u kno he wouldnt come over and talk 2 me, but he watched me like whenever i passed him. which can b good, but can b bad. i didnt really look at the way he looked at me, i was sorta looking, but if he looked at me, i turned away. (if u've read the Angus thongs and full frontal snogging series glacerosity) kinda playin hard 2 get, hinting that i liked him, but not giving it away (at least that was what i was going 4, i dunno if thaz how it came across, but thaz what i hope 4) i wish i could figure out y i like him, but im not quite sure. I'll figure this out eventually...i hope.. thats jus how weird i am. one day my life will sort itself out (i hope) im jus hoping that this long weekend will let my oddness set in, and hopefully it'll make it so that this is less confusing. maybe he likes me, maybe he dosent. it all depends. what will come will come, i jus gotta meet it when it does. Come what may...i jus gotta keep going. (ok enuf with the mature crap) ok, im done.
ttyal

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Jebus i havent been here in a while! so....4 all who care this is what has happened lately.... i like this guy, who has a brittish accent, and is in my debate class, only problem....hes a senior. well i was told yesterday that some1 blabed, and that he didnt like me. SO im takin it slow...and supposedly (im not sure i can trust this source) he has a gf. BUT i havnt seen him walkin with any 1 girl. he does talk 2 girls sometimes, but not all that much, and never any 1 girl. (maybe they jus like 2 hear him talk)well any way on to the more...interesting...subject.
today:
1st thing this morning i saw him in the commons, and i waved he waved back. later (about 20 minutes later) i saw him again, but he didnt wave back, he jus watched me walk bye. i was kinda sad that he didnt wave. So i decided id talk to him in 8th flex, but sum1 started a fire in the boys bathroom (d wing) and we had to go outside, when we finnally came back in, sum1 pulled a false, and we went BACK out. SOOOO 8th flex was cancelled. i was ok during english, but when 8th pd came, i was excited, but he wasnt there. he came in 1/2 way though the class, and once the speaker was finished he was like "Amanda" i turned around, he continued "sorry i didnt say hi to you this morning, i had seen you the first time, and then like 10 seconds later i saw you again, it was your sister" i laughed and replied "yea, were twins, so we look alot alike" he smiled, and we started a conversation. the same person who said he had a GF (yea rite) looked a little jealous (but he doesnt seem interested in her tehehehehe) but i ignored it. on the bus she said she needed to talk 2 me, and she said "sometimes i wanna have a private conversation with him io kno u like him, but its hard 2 do a 3 thing" i nodded as if i agreed, but YEA RITE. not even she could bring me down. lol well im gonna go, ttyal
bye

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Skool has been bak 4 wut 3 weeks?? and i already miss summer. I HATE waking up at 5:30 am everyday, and i hate teachers, and i hate the building, its a prison, there r like NO windows in that skool!!! god it sux, and i am NOT a moringing person, i can stay up till 4 or 5 am, and b happy if u let me sleep till noon, but if i gotta wake up at a certain time, i cant stand it, i hate waking up!! its not fair. but i would b happier if i had sumthing interesting o do in the 1st period of the day. Biology on blue days, Spanish II on grey days. and im not allowed soda in spanish!! god i hate sra. King!! but im allowed soda in biology, so i guess it could b worse. but i hate those classes!! its 2 early (7:20am) to concentrate on anything!! but i like my Wrld hist/geog 1 teacher. she couldnt remember all our names, so we get DOUGHNUTS!!!! tehehehehe i like that. and then ummmmm my algebra class is ok (which is a BIG thing considering its algebra) we get 2 use laptops alot. and gym is cool, ive got friends in my activity, so its all good, especially since we go bowling in our activity classes, so its all good. i cant complain about the "sights" at ffx, there are some REALLY good lookin guys!!!! lol. but after a day of all those stupid classes my brain feels like . but hey, itz all good rite?? lol well ttyl
bye

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i am so lucky so far this year, i sit by a cute guy in algebra (sophmore) and rite in front of a REALLY hot guy in debate (senior i think) and he is from south africa, and he gots a brittish accent!! and hes SOO funny!!! (tehehehehe) but John, my ex-chrush is in my spanish im not to happy bout that. but o well. and my 1st bf deserves this: and yea.
bye

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ok well today was...ok. till the game. it was kinda fun wanderin around w/ friends, seein old ones, gettin hugs (i got lots) an all, but then, near the end, my 1st BF (who btw, CHEATED on me jus like my dad) came up 2 me and asked "r u goth now?" i replied "no", but then he turned around to leave and i said "i am me" now im all confused. Y did he ask that? its none of his busness rite? its not fair, this life sux ass, and i wish it were over. (no im not gonna kill myself) i wish it were easier, simpler or u pick another word, im to lazy. so well im lost and confused, so
ttyl

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Were bak in skool now, and its borin. i made a new friend, and shes cool, and i have only had 2 ride the bus home once, thnx 2 my senior friend (THNX if ur readin this) the junior still REALLY likes me, and he likes to pick me up, or throw me around. he really flirty, but he knows that i dont like him in that way, but he still likes me ALOT. well i sit next 2 a cute sophmore in Algebra. he failed the 1st time, but hes cool!!! i also gotta sit next to Greg Larsen, but i can survive. i jus cant go 2 sleep. o well. i like it alot more than i liked lanier. it sucked there, FHS is SOO much better.
i get 2 go 2 evanesscence on the 13th. i CANT WAIT. i like them alittle 2 much. but o well. well im gonna go now.
ttyl

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