What up!? I'm working and am severly bored!!! I have nothing to do....wtf! Oh well, at least i get money....that is if my pay check can hurry the f*ck up and come!!!! I am SO broke! And i'm going through shopping withdrawl!! I haven't been in like more then a month! I wanna go to the city and shop, or Boston like i did last yr when Lena was at school. Always a good time. I started a new job at Circuit City too, I work in the car audio dept. (aka the Roadshop). Its fun, James and Phil and Jimmy work there too and my manger and other people are cool too. Yay working 7 days a week though. New truck?!?! Hopefully soon. Yeah so I am also once again going out with Chris. Very weird..... I hope i made the right decision, i really don't feel like being screwed over again. I am being very careful. And Chris did promise me he never wanted to go through that again. (I do miss Phil a little to and I feel really bad, he is a really nice person and it def made for a hard choice) Well i hope this turns out to be right. Chris is already talking about going on a cruise for Spring Break. YAY! i've always wanted to go on one!! We'll see, gotta have money. Well that means I should once again get back to earning some. Later about this and more! It's LUNCH TIME!!

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So i said i would explain the whole boy situation in my entry below....yeah it's somewhere in that 200 questions lol. Anyways here we go. So pretty much the jist is is that i'm stuck between Phil and Chris. Phil and I have been friends for around a month or two and have been hanging out. Well i guess he liked me and about a week ago he asked me out. I had no idea what to say and so pretty much was like let me think about it. Well since Chris and I have also been friends for some time, i talked to him about it and he was really sweet and tried to help me out. I didn't come to much of a conclusion at that time. WEll so it all comes down to Phil being really sweet to me and Chris telling em he loves me and wants me back... there are more details in between but i don't feel like typing them all. So...what the fuck am i supposed to do. I'm stuck. Phil has been sweet to me and he's someone new without a past that has hurt me. But I still love Chris and know i always will. I want to believe him so badly, but i have that little voice in the back of my head warning me to be careful. I don't ever wanna feel as shitty as I felt for the past few months. But at the same time i don't wanna lose his friendship or him. AH! wtf boys! way to suck!!! well that's the situation for now, i will keep it updated probably. But tonight i'm excited for a fun much-needed night out with the girls! U guys are the best!! So glad ur all home!! And it's my B-day in 2 days!!! YAY!!!!! Ok well, catch ya'll later!

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001. What is your name: Merritt Williams
002. Spell your name backwards: smailliw ttirrem
003. Date of birth: 11/27/83
004. Male or female: Female
005. Astrological sign: Sagittarius
006. Nicknames: Mer, Parkway, Rte. 15, Whitesheet, RT, Badge
007. Occupation: Westport Mag & hopefully soon Circuit City
008. Height: 5'7-ish
009. Weight: ~120 lbs
010. Hair color: blondish brown
011. Eye color: drk brown
012. Where were you born: Tampa FL
013. Where do you reside now: Weston, CT
014. Age: 19 - 20 in just a week!
015. Screen names: NYYis300, Prkwy1420, Mer1514, Yaay8
016. E-mail addy: jadelujayne@hotmail.com
017. What does your screen name stand for: NYYis300- New York Yankees, only the best baseball team ever! And is300 is a hot Lexus that i'd like to have. Prkwy1420 - The Merritt Parkway obviously, 20 my soccer number at the time, 14 my lucky number. Mer1514 - My name shortened, rt. 15, lucky # again. Yaay - well that should be self explanatory! 8 - i dunno....Jr's # & he's hot?!
018. What is your Journal name: Mer14
019. What does your Journal name stand for: me!
020. Pets: 2 cats
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: i dunno
022. Piercings: 3, one in each ear normally, and cartilage
023. Tattoo's: no
024. Shoe size: 81/2 - 9
025. Righty or lefty: Righty
026. Wearing: Jeans and a white tank top.... starting to get dressed after the shower
027. Hearing: Ian Van Dahl - Forever...... Techno
028. Feeling: a little bored & VERY confused about the current situation! lol
029. Eating/drinking: nothing cuz my fam doesn't know what shopping is!!!

~Guys/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff~

061. Have you ever been in love: once was and always will be.....
062. How many people have you said I love to?: 2
063. How many people have you been in love with: 1
064. How many people have you kissed: i dunno like 5-7 maybe?
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex: no
066. How many people have you dated: 2... well 3 if u count Nathan for a week back in the day lol!
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl: mostly a good personality and humor
068. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes, attitude
069. What type of guy/girl do you usually go for: i don't know...lol i've liked people of all types
073. Do you have a crush right now: sorta
074. If so who is it: well it's quite complicated, i will probably write an entry about it soon so read that!
075. Do you believe in love at first sight: i dunno, maybe
076. Do you remember your first love: yes, quite well....maybe a little too well :/
077. Who is the first person you kissed: Nathan lol!
078. Do you believe in fate: mostly
079. Do you believe in soul mates: yeah
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: i thought i did....well i will find out if i'm right some day i hope.......

~Family Stuff~

104. How many siblings do you have: 2
105. What are/is your parent('s) name(s): Molly & Jack
106. What are/is your sibling(s)'s name(s): Morgan & Molly
107. How many siblings does your mother have: 4
108. How many siblings does your father have: 3
109. Where are your parents from: Penn & Cali
111. Does your family get together for holidays: sometimes
112. Do you have a drunk uncle: lol UNC!!! sorry.... not really
113. Any medical problems run through your family: alcoholism i think and cancer maybe
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee: not that i know of
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews: no
116. Are your parents divorced: no
117. Do you have step parents: no
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: not that i'm aware of
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country: i don't think so

~Music Stuff~

121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life: let me get back to u on that...
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own: Japanese animation CD's
123. What's the best cd you own: the ones i make biatch!
124. What song do you absolutely hate: ugh there are too many
125. Do you sing in the shower: not really, if i had a radio in my b-room i probably would
126. What song reminds you of that special someone: Heaven - DJ Sammy or Bryan Adams

~Favorites~

152. Color: green
153. Food: everything!
154. Song: too many
155. Show: Degrassi of course!!! Simpsons, South Park & family guy are good too!
156. School subject: Lunch????
157. Band/singer/artist: too many to list
158. Animal: cats, panthers
159. Outfit: Jeans, cute shirt, sweatshirt if it's cold (big & comfy!)
160. Radio station: depends on what i wanna listen to
161. Movie: 10 Things I Hate About You
162. Pair of shoes: My sneakers, my reefs, my A&M sandals
163. Cartoon: simpsons, family guy and south park
164. Actor: none really
165. Actress: same here
166. Potato chip: mmmmm...chips!
167. Drink: alcoholic??? Mudslides, White Russians, MGD?
168: Soda: Dr. Pepper!
169. Holiday: Christmas i guess & Thanksgiving cuz i get to eat!!!! And my B-day is on it this yr!!!
170. Perfume/cologne: perfume- Coolwater ...cologne- Hugo
171. Pizza topping: Bacon, Pepperoni
172. Jello flavor: cherry
173. Lunch meat: ham, bologna
174. Card Game: Circle of Death/Kings, War!
175. Video game: Old Skool Mario!!!!
176. Website: mine....if i had one that is
177. Book: i dunno
178. Computer game: Civilization & the Sims!!!!
179. Number: 14
180. Cereal: Frosted Flakes, Rice Krispies
181. Comedian: There are a bunch
182. Dessert: ALL!! YAY!
183. Disney character: Eeyore, .....i dunno
184. Clothing store: so many.... mostly shop at Guess, A&F, Express, Wishlist when i can afford it!
185. Past time: Sleeping, hanging out around with everyone!
186. Teacher: MARK o: )!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yeah lena!!!)
187. Childhood toy: my little pony, BUBBLEGUM!!!!
188. Carnival game/ride: not a fan of those that spin that i can tell u
189. Candy bar: mmmm....so many!
190. Magazine: cosmo, Car mags i steal from my friends :)
191. Salad dressing: Thousand Island
192. Thing to do on the weekend: Hangin out with my crew!
193. Hot drink: hot chocolate
194. Season: Spring and summer....i like warm!!
195. Sport to watch: baseball...NAKED FOR NICK!!!
196. Person to talk to online: People that actually talk to me!

~Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits~

197. What color are your sheets: they have flowers on them....i want just white ones
198. What color are your bedroom walls: whitey/creamy-ish - i want them green
199. Do you have posters: a bunch
200. If so of what: softball, Yankees, 2Pac, DMX, a bunch of cars, pics.... tons of shit
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom: no but i might just invest in one soon
202. How many pillows are on your bed couch: 3 - i only use one...sometimes
203. What do you normally sleep in: shirt or tank top and sometimes PJ pants or boxers
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: my hooters boxers and a tee shirt or tank
205. What size bed couch do you have: twin
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: no
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: no, that's what my cell is for
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: i don't remember
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: yup!
211. How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed couch: 2 maybe
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions: just on my stomach
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: no but i have 2 beds
214. Do you snore: i don't think so
215. How about drool: everyone drools sometimes
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room: yeah
217. What color is the carpet in your room: wood floors with a cream flowered carpet
218. What's under your bed: my cowboy hat box, clothes, some other samll shit

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YAY for the weekend, it was actaully a pretty good one. We went down to PA for Fri and Saturday! It was good times. WE saw a mobile chapel on the way down and took pics. Some hottie was like u sould go inside. We didn't but maybe next time around. lol. Susquehanna was a good time. Gotta love walmart at 2 in the morning and monopoly until like 6. Me and tahl fell asleep on the lounge couches and we left her there when we went up to bed. lol! Also, it's walways a good time when the school radio station plays songs about enormous vaginas and fake penis's. Yay Susquehanna! We managed to wake up at 3 pm the next day, haha we're not lazy! WWe went to DD's ans got breakfast and the sun was laready going down. It's funny to order breakfast and here have a good night. Wish we could have stayed longer, i felt bad cuz i had to be back in CT for Fire I on Sunday morning. YAy 8 hour long classes, especially those on no sleep. Oh well, i got to know some of the kids ion my class a little better though. We went to the diner after the drill. Yay for new cool people. I saw Brother Bear with Chris that night and Elf with Burnz, JAmes, Phil, and people. Don't go see Elf, it wasn't very good. Brother Bear was cute though. Grrrr....i hate boys, they are confusing!!! Wtf, i hate being confused. oh well, Thanks for a great weekend Rory!!! We had a great time in PA!! Hopefully she is comin home this weekend, gotta love hanging out with the girls. Lol and sadly i don't mean Sunshit and Savanahh. LOL but we did get a nice pic of a sticker that said Mish on it!!! Ok well, catch y'all later!!!

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So nothing too exciting, i am home bored as usual, waiting for everyone to get off of work. Hopefully something fun and interesting will be goin on. Ha right.... Well maybe. Last night was funny. We did the usual diner run and hanging around places like the movie theatre. We went back to Burnz's later, but it was funny cuz since some of us had missed himself lighting himself on fire like 2 yrs ago that he'd do it again. So we all packed into Tim's Bronco and went to burn burnz. hahaha i thought it sounded funny. YAY! So i realized how much i missed hanging out with the crew and just doing really stupid, random, insane stuff. I miss those night drinking at construction sites being sketchy, parties at Joy's, stealing stupid shit and fucking with other stuff. It might have been stupid, but it sure was funny. We need to have night like that more often. I don't want us to stop having stupid fun now that high school's over. I know i'm never gonna grow up lol!!! so hoepfully tonight will be fun. We need some people back though. Our stupidity misses Sam and Pete before he got more uptight. And burnz leaves soon so that sux, the crew won't be the same w/o everyone. Well there's always next summer and stuff. Until then we'll have to make do with who we have. :) YAY!!! Ok well if something fun and interesting happens or whatever, i'm sure i'll be back!! Peace for now!!!

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Ah i'm so frustrated with people that act one way and then totally different the next. What is up with that? Sometimes they are an awesome person and then you look at them and think what the fuck? Maybe i'm more frustrated at myself for falling into this shit again. I was doing so well. But i guess i give people too many chances, have too much hope and maybe even faith. I need to pick one side or the other and i'm pretty sure that i know which side that i'm gonna end up on. Now i just have to decide whether to take a shot at that other side one last time. And knowing me i probably will, i know it's most likly a dead end, and i don't want to wreck stuff once again. I dunno, i just hate this shit. I can't go through all this again, i've finally pulled out of it. If only those who cause it could see what it's like, could experience it to see what they have done. I need something to tell me clearly whether to stay or run. Nothing's been clear yet and i don't know shit. Grrrr....why must life be frustrating? Somebody please tell me something! Oh well, i'm lookin forward to a trip to Pennsylvania to visit Rory for her B-day! I miss everyone being home, yay CT girls. I'm sure it will be awesome times and i'm definately excited. Got somethin good to look forward to!! I'll end on that good note! YAY PA!

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