mood: drained

listening to: Cam'ron- Daydreamin'

watching: The Real World

Well I'm back afta a who knows how long hiatus. Things have been doin somewhat better. Kim and I are still tagetha and all in love ova here,haha... I've been gettin more focused with my music. I've expanded my skills I'm made some hot shit thats all original. Now jus to step my rhyme game up. But its all good though, I've been doin alot of movin in the past month. I've been chillin wit my northside nigga, my girl lives in east end, and my job and school are on southside. Damn. I might as well move ta richmond, cause I'm always there. I wanna move in with kim but that not a good idea,cause if we fight where am I gonna go. Definitely not back here lol. I need to be sleep but for some reason I'm still up jammin ta my Cam cd. And the sad shit is I don't really like Cam but his shit is addictive. He can say some of the worst shit you could hear but either "Mr. Goony Goos Goos Himself" Jim "Capo Status" Jones or Juelz Santana make it worth listenin to. Cam got some hot solo joints but not alot. Haha, well I'm done for now cause me lonely and me need sleep and me need extra bizness lol...

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mood: sore listening to: Juelz Santana- Santana The Great I've come to the decision that within the next two years I will be movin' out. Away from petersburg. Cause petersburg is full of fags amd dirty ass bitches. I mean damn when you can walk out ya own house and see a homo walkin up and down your street, and then go up the street to burger king you see another one strollin up and down the street in a dress. Now I know ya'll think oh I'm a homophobe, nah I aint scared of em'. I'm jus tired of seein em and hearin whine and complain about how they life sucks and how they worried bout goin ta heaven, well here's it in short, homo's won't make it lesbian's won't make it bi's won't make it unless they change. I don't got any real issue with em besides the fact that they disgust me. And I'm jus leavin cause there are no decent people left in this city. I get more respect in richmond and chesterfield. People bout they money and findin ways to make it. I'm debatin where to move tho cause I could move ta north side, south side, or chesterfield. I wanna move ta southside but then again I wanna move ta chesterfield but then again Iwanna move ta northside. Ah well I got two years to choose. I'll be glad when I can find a studio, so I can get some music recorded so when I move I got somethin for the ppl I'm movin near ta hear. Plus movin ta richmond puts me in the right position so I don't pay shit load for gas. Plus I can go ta kim's whenever I want. I can bring kim over whenever I want. Kim can come spend the night.*laughs* I can smoke when I wanna, drink when I wanna.

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mood: aight...

listening to: Diplomats- Built This City

I finally got majority of my online classwork up to date. I got some assignments I need to do and turn in but they jus some bull shit assignments anyway. I go ta get my permanent license in a few hours. I ain't that excited cause I gotta go to work right after so Imma be rushin'.

In other news, I was lookin thru some old shit and found a chain. It reminded me to much of somethings I hate so I jus broke tha lil piece of shit. It made me feel a lil better. But I'm still a lil heated that I found this piece of trash in my room. But its in pieces now so I really don't care anymore I should clean it up. But I'm lazy and don't feel like cleaning.

I was talkin' with this guy in Chesterfield, that has an independent label and I'm tryna work somethin out with him so me and my boy Harold can get our song recorded and get a couple more done. Hopefully things will go good with my music. I really ain't worried about makin it big. I just wanna put music out for ppl to hear, cause I know the fact that I take time and try and write a song with skill, it probably won't sell cause skill doesn't sell nowadays. You gotta be humpin on every hoe and wearin all these clothes and jewels to be famous now. I jus wanna be where common sense, mos def,jada, and nas are. They're known for the truth and not spittin wha' the white ppl and women wanna hear. I leave it up to God to move it cause I know the industry is garbage nowadays. So hopefully I can keep up the work I've been doin and get stuff recorded and maybe put out an independent cd.

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listening to: Juelz Santana- Back Again

mood: tired/bored/sleepy/horny/angry/depressed

I got payed to day but this lil money isn't enough to get me wha' I need. I need to move out of this city cause this city is full of suspect ass niggaz and dirty ass bitches. I mean not nann nigga in tha burg got heat. But yet I hear niggaz talkin reckless bout havin' D.E.'s and 38's and shit. Now how is this nigga in my class gone be from tha burg and posed ta be all high and mighty and well known but I don't know em. And I know mostly every well known nigga in this city. I may not associate with em all but I know of em all and he aint one of em. He is from the home of suspect ass niggaz, Berkley fuckin' Manor. Not one real nigga lives in tha Berkley Manor. But enough about that wack ass hood. Back to the heart of the matter. I'm jus tired of livin in a wanna be gangsta city. Niggaz in this city is not real and all the real niggaz in this city is either dead or in jail or moved somewhere else. I don't have any friends in this city and its not cause I ain't popular its jus that niggaz in this city is so fake I can't associate myself with em. And bitches in this city is dirty and I ain't jus sayin that. Niggaz that stay on Northside can tell you the same. Don't come to tha burg lookin fo a bitch cause they all dirty. They either burnin' niggaz or they trife or they jus plain dumb. I need to get outta this city fast. If I gotta grind it out ta help me move then so be it but this city isn't wha' it used ta be. This shit is trash now.

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mood: tired

listening to: Nas- Take It In Blood

Fresh off from work, I'm bored as shit. I come home thinkin' Imma eat wha's left of the pizza and cheese sticks I bought but thanks to my sister, grandma, and nephew they killed all hopes of eatin it cause all my shit was gone. Not one motha fucka asked me. They jus took my shit and I aint even get a cheese stick. I need ta lay down cause I aint get any chance to rest before work cause I got outta class late. Once I move I won't have this problem cause I'll be livin in between where my school is and where I work so I won't have to come back and forth between petersburg and richmond.

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mood: ... listening to: Mobb Deep- Crawlin I am tired of trilfing hoes. I'm sick of bitches. I'm sick of em. I am tired of having to jus let my emotions subside for the good of man. Its so easy for everyone to jus forget shit that happened and act like it neva happened. But for some reason I have issues tryna forget and act like shit jus aint happen. I've been lied to on some many occasions and all I've asked to do is forget it and move on. When Danielle got me locked up and had me on house arrest for 2 whole years of my life I was asked to jus forget it and move on. She gets off w/ no problem. She can live her life no problem, no making up for lost time. But I get stuck with not having a 16th birthday cause of this bitch. I couldn't go to any activities at school. I couldn't even fuckin go to church. I had to stay here all the time and do nothing. My friends at the time couldn't come visit. But she gets to live her life with no consequences for wha' she did to me. And I'm supposed to jus let it go... And the same goes for Amber, she gets away with lying to all these niggaz jus to please her sick ass. And each nigga has to sit there and eat that shit and move on. It's easy for some but not me. I can't stand being lied to. No matter the reason why. A lie is a lie to me. I gotta sit here and eat the fact that she lied to me and jus move on. Well I can't I want this broad dead. She had my heart and tossed it like it won't shit. And I'm posed to jus move on and let it be, nah shit don't work like that w/ me I hate this bitch for wha' she did and the fact that she can jus move on like it aint shit doesn't make me feel any better. I want both these bitches to understand and feel wha' the fuck I feel. But I guess since theres nothing I can do bout it these bitches can go on livin' there happy lives. I'm tired of this shit on some serious shit. I get treated like shit in every relationship I've ever been in and then I'm posed to jus let it go and forget it happened. I'm tired of these bitches playin victim, no one does it better than Amber though. She can lie to a nigga and then be like it was his fault or put the blame on some one else. She can never step up and admit her mistakes. I know I may be typing this out of anger but its the fuckin' truth. Matta'z fact I don't even wanna continue this cause I refuse to speak these bitches names eva again...

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