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im backk Friday. 5.25.07 9:09 am im gonna start writin in this thing to get my feelings out. But first lemme update you guys on shit.... I work at tops now..which is pretty good.. i work 12:30-9:00pm today I work in the deli part..its cool. I'm 18 now, and live in Elmira again. and been livin here for over a year. Friends...well i dont have many now. like i talk to most of em, but dont chill wid em. My dad has cancer and he is fightin through it, well trying too. My aunt only has half a lung workin, one kidney workin, and doesent have half the blood ur supposed to have. She signed herself out the hospital and said she is gonna die, so she wants to do it at home. It scares the fuck out of me. With all the stress im in, i dont think i can go through a death. I dropped out of school, but im tryin to go back... workin on paperwork and shit. I dont have a permanant place to live, im stayin with my father. All high school bitches are tricks, and idk why i get myself caught up with em. Now time to really talk... I'm gettin really depressed in this fuckin town.. i really fuckin hate it. I wanna move up to skaneateles But i have no place to live up there n i doubt my grandparents would take me back in. I dont wanna leave cause my dads not doin soo good, and my aunt is doin real bad and i have this feelin that she will pass soon. I hope she doesent... cause she is one of the only two aunts i have left, that really care for me. And plus i have a really good job. But then again, I am gettin wayy depressed in this town. Everything in my life is fuckin up. I lost quite a few friends for no reason really, and i lost the girl i was recently madd good friends with. Now i aint got shit. I have no place to live, nuthin in this town. I just wanna break down n cry, but i cant because i feel i have to be strong, so i fake this smile on my face to not be asked many questions and people worry bout me. I'm not gonna do nuthin stupid cause i already went through that and i realized that was not the right thing. I dont wanna be in a psych center either. These school plans here arent goin as planned, my dad has to sign this paper but he wont cause im not really livin with him. uughh I also have to pay this fuckin bill due to one of my parents usin my name for somethin..and i dont want bad credit, so i godda pay that next week. Not that i have the money to spend on bills from somethin i never had. i dont know, my lifes all kinds of fucked up.. i dont think i really deserve it either.. but hey maybe i do... oh well, i guess im gonna go shower and get ready for work. not that i wanna go. but i need the money. ill write some time. Comment! (2) | Recommend! yooo Wednesday. 6.8.05 10:57 am i got alotta writin to do in the next hr. haha Friday night was cool i guess. It was really hott. I played basketball in that crap. ahhh Missy got attacked by a dog :D nuthin special happened. oh yea and ann came over for a lil. I love that girl to peices. I've known her since i was like 3 and we r still close friends. We were home alone for a bit too:D. Dave spent the night too. hes hott. : x Saturday, i sat around n watched the marathon of next, then i watched romeo and juliet. cause im a loozer. I sat in front of a television all day since it rained and poof wasent around. She went to her grammas all weekend. Sunday was okay. ' I got up, and went outside. It was nice out. I watched television too. whats new though? haha I went to wal-mart with the cousins and G'rents. We spent a good 2 hrs in their, no lie. I broke somethin in that store, but dint get caught. I was gon steal somethin too, but then my cousin told me their was a camera right over me so ya, i couldent do it. :( I finally got to talk to jenn too. woot woot. that was the longest weekend ever. Make sure ur best friend has a cell phone when they go out of town, haha It was depressing. Monday i went to school. that was cool...not I came home and i passed out. then we had 2 go do some things at the church. So we did that, god i love bein strong sometimes. :) haha,,then we went to skennelis. It was yummmyy Then we got some ice cream. i got a m&m mcflurry cause i missed em. Then we came home and i called poof. We talked for an hr and a half. woot woot. It was really funny towards the end. haha. i love u poofy  Then we went to work. then i came home from their. i worked out a lil [too much] and ya. i went to bed. I woke up and omg my arms are soo sore. they still are. I didnt do nuthin much yesterday. Jus school, BJ's, food then my lil cousins baseball game. hes a nice baseball player. He's better than me and he is 10. They played against the JE school and thats where i go, i was cuttin up on JE. I was rootin for my cousins team, weedsport. I tried gettin a tan but..psh..ima be white all my life :( haha oh well. Maybe i got a lil tan. I worked out again. So i woke up again [obviousli] and my muscles hurt more. oh well. My diet is goin pretty good, ive lost a whole 3 lbs. haha, and i started this thing on monday. Its been a pretty good day. i sat in the library for 2 mods cause yano, my Earth science class was takin part of the regents and i couldent do it cause im dumb. oh well. haha. Me and jenn are goin through a weak spot, but thats okay. We will get over it. We are startin too now. *No Matter The Situation* Me and jenn are finally hangin out this weekend. woot woot. bousta be the best weekend ever. haha. yes sam, im sorry to say this but, u werent as cool. haha jus kiddin. that face scared me and im still scared of it, so ya :( My brother isent movin to Florida :D Which means he wont be leavin sat. Which means he is commin up at the end of this month. My dad is movin back in with my gramma which is idk. i wont be stayin their i dont think. My grams and I dont get along. If we live together it jus cause too much drama. sooo yaa.. Imagine if i stayed a week there. haha. I called some old friends back. Like amanda and jess. awww I missed them oh so much. I got to call madd ppl tonight. For instance: stacey, jess, amanda, and of course POOF :) God im so bored right now. My cousin is bein gay and doin quizzes She is distracting me from my nutang. I've been in this school for 2 months and 1 day. Me and poof became friends 2 months and 1 day ago. In like 8 days will be 1 month for me and someone:) ^suprised that i kept someone this long? haha i am!  Saysha is leavin the 26th:( i hope we hang out b4 she leaves. haha im gon miss that girl so much. I miss heather too. I cant wait till the summer. Our lil pot smokin record. and the street corners. Oh ya and partyin in elmira Its gon be fun heather ;) I have alot of things planned this weekend. I have ashley to hang out with friday[after like a year almost] Poof to come over and spend the night[er weekend] and Sam said she would come over. But i doubt she will. Shes too busy with andrew anymore. ahh well. I know im deff hangin out with Poof, and ashley. its supposed to be nice out this weekend. i hope it is! Holy hottness...this hot guy is sittin across from me. omg he is hott! i would tap that ;) haha jus kiddin. im not a hoe. Well im gon go get more water. Since you know, its fillin me up. Since im not eatin lunch. Its nasty and all fat. ewww. I love you. Almost one month. Im so happy with you.   ^woot woot i wanna toke it up. good times, good times. :) Comment! (0) | Recommend! ahhh Tuesday. 6.7.05 10:58 am dont think i forgot bout this, i jus have been spendin my time writin poof notes. haha..which i godda do now..so i will write in this next mod. -peace! Comment! (6) | Recommend! woohoo Friday. 6.3.05 1:50 pm study hall right now. last period of the day, i cant wait until 2:10. Weekend officially begins. Poof wrote me a short note. it was soo cute. haha. i wrote her back. We did a regents practice test bout that and it counts as a reg test score. no comment bout that. lets jus say..me and some kidds=cheated. oh well, i should pass this one! :D wow, they r in here talkin bout rednecks. no comment. The seniors are at seabreeze right now. So ive had alot of substitutes. haha Its all good. Monday the seniors go to darien lake and guess how much they had 2 pay to go to these places? 5 dollars each. sadd huh? haha oh well, i cant wait till im a senior. i dont know where i'll be but yaa. my goal for this weekend is to: finish my room up[pics and stuff] and do all my homework/backwork. woot woot. i know that wont happen. I'll be to busy sleepin and bein lazy. Today this teacher wanted me and this girl to sort papers for her, and so we did, and we talked kinda. and then we had 2 run the papers next door, and brittney was in their. and she was like dissapointed in me but i couldent help it. theirs a story behind this girl why nobody likes her and she is ruinin my rep. haha and my rep is pretty good. they call this girl "bambi" cause she told everybody she lost her virginity to deer antlers. 'she fell on them' haha ya right. i dont believe she fell on em. ooh well, she is a skank anyways. haha. jus like me but oh well. We are playin archery in gym. haha. i accidently stabbed my cousin in the crotch with an arrow. I keep callin archery, "auxilary" and i dont know why. so now i jus call it "arrows" It's fun though. Specially Alex and Cassie. haha No comment. "Im gon go deer huntin" and then we dont see her[she left gym] and then i hear "she is out gallopin in the woods with her boyfriend" haha...great times. i love my gym class. But im gon go check out the news cause im a retard and yaa, im bored. have a good weekend:) ..and im proud to be ur girl.  I love you sooo much. never lettin go. :) *NO MATTER THE SITUATION* right poof...thanks for not givin up on me. im here for you, like ur their for me. :) Comment! (0) | Recommend! sooOooo Friday. 6.3.05 11:45 am well.... Today was pretty good. thank god its friday. We should have more 3 day weeks! even though friday is the last day of classes. woot woot. I cant sit for the earth science regents, which is okay cause i failed the class anyways. Although, this markin period i have a 66% so far. which is good to me. i got to take a quiz and hand in 2 labs,..then ill have a bangin average :) Poofy dont feel good today. kinda sucks. She isent as cheery as usual. But she's still cool. She left the note for me at home, so i either have to wait till monday, er she is writin me back. i dont know. She is goin to her dads this weekend. which kinda sucks, but thats okay. Maybe we will hang out sometime next week. haha This weekend is Relay For life in elmira. yeaa im all signed up for it, but i cant make it. kinda sucks but its okay. i will make it to next years with out a doubt. Last night, i told my g-pa i wanted to have a chuggin contest with him. Suprisingly, he didnt care that i said that. haha. he was jus like u would win, cause i dont chug. haha...we got on this subject cause he let us sip some of his screwdriver. Speakin of alcohol...Poof-im still madd at you. haha..ur a very naughty girl. im commin to ur gym class tomorrow jus to make sure u dont do it again. I bought poof a pepsi[cause im such an awesome friend, even though some people dont think that] and i gave her half a pack. She's lucky i love her. But i godda hold her down cause u know shes my girl and all. :) *NO MATTER THE SITUATION* We were kinda arguin alot these past few days. But we are strong like b4 now. She said "No matter what, i will never leave ur side". awww I love this girl. My bro is commin up monday..i talked to him las night and he said i better not get all emo[get all sad and cry]. sunday we have calling hrs for this one guy. awww This is gon be a very sad weekend..i dont got poof, go to a funeral, and this is prolly the las time i will see my bro. :( Whats this i hear about us goin to disney world this summer, maybe?! whoa! yupp if my g-pa can win this election[which he already has pretty much] we r goin to florida, and goin to walt disney world. woot woot! haha well i godda get goin. bells gon ring. I love you!! Almost a month and still goin strong. No Doubbbtt! Tony-ur gay Missy-ur gay Everybody else-*bell rings* Comment! (0) | Recommend! woot woot Thursday. 6.2.05 11:49 am i got a perice of gum, i got a peice of gum, i got a peice of gum HEY HEY HEY HEY! haah yaaa u can say im cool.  i'm bored so i thought i would really add thiss. i miss the movie 'the little rascals"  WOOT WOOT!! i get to see jenn in 5 minutes.  she best have a note for me. cause i wrote her like 5 notes yesterday, and they were all bullshit notes, besides 2. haha, i love how she is very outgoin and understanding. I finally found that one best friend that will always be their for me no matter what. and im glad i found that one best friend!! Stay true...you:) Comment! (1) | Recommend! |
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