it is summer now.

and we are still together.

people know now, and its no big deal like it was at first.
i can honestly say that i love him.

i will never regret saying that.he makes me see things in a whole different way.

ive thought about things i never would have thought about before.

even if tomorrow, we decide that its better for us not to be together, i know that i will always thank him.it will hurt me horribly, but i could never hate him.

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wow.its been about a month. the one i thought i had moved on. and ive moved on too. we both have someone else. and we like being friends.

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this is fucking horrible.
i have to keep my feelings ( our feelings) away from everyone.
because im a backstabbing little whore.
why the hell am i so selfish.
i dont even know.im a wreck today,

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holy.fuck.

he kissed me tonight.
we went for a walk to the beach.and it was cold so he had his arm around me.and then we sat on the rocks.
and i was trying to show him what that big dipper was and he put his hand on my face.and kissed me.
if he werent holding me i wouldve collapsed.


but this is completly horrible of me.
everyone knows amanda is in love with him ever since new years.
if i werent grounded that probably never wouldve happened.

hes coming through my window tonight.

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i get home from work yesterday and the door is locked.so i knock loudly and then it opens.and he is standing there.


he came over a half an hour beforehand to see if i wanted to hang out.i wasnt home so he played video games with my little brother until i got there.

then we went to his place and watched requiem for a dream.
after we layed on his bed and watched the credits roll while we held each other.

no kissing or fucking, no drugs just us.


and i cant hold it back any longer.
i think im in love.

and its not with joe.

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