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Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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So on Saturday, my mom and I drove to New Port Richey, where she hung out with my sister and her boyfriend at their new apartment, while I hung out with some Trinity peeps. First I ate a little bit of lunch in the dining hall with Esther, Charlie and Tawnie (a new girl I don't know..). I wasn't very hungry, but I figured I should eat some lunch. [Been fighting that temptation to starve myself a lot lately. It's getting better though!] After lunch, Esther went and finshed a paper for one of her classes while Charlie and I played Scrabble in the library with Adam. I think Adam won, didn't he? By like one point. I didn't even come in second.. :( Oh, well, I still had fun. After Scrabble we went and had some dinner at Panera with Richard and Daniel before hanging out at Starbucks for a little bit. Then we went back to Trinity and dropped Daniel off, and went over to the Mendoza's. Joe, Charlie and Richard all played video games while Renee and I hung out which was nice. I wasn't very interested in playing video games...Renee and I went shopping and we were also going to work out at the gym for a little bit, but the gym was closed so after our little shopping trip at Wal-Mart we went back to the apartment and made some Chicken Alfredo (I helped with the chicken, not so much with the fettucine noodles..and the alfredo sauce was from a can.) We played Mancala while the food was cooking, and actually found that the two of us were both taught to play it the same way..which is, apparently, an incorrect way of playing the game. *shrugs* We did play it once actually following the rules and directions provided, and that was pretty fun too. After everyone (with exception to Richard) ate, they guys went back to their video games while Renee and I first washed the dishes and straightened up the kitchen. Afterward we went into the bedroom and I played a few notes on her guitar; I would've played a little more but we didn't have any music sheets I could play. She then showed me some scrapbooks she'd made, which was cool. It was getting a bit late at this point, so Richard, Charlie and I drove back to Trinity where Esther met us in the parking lot. Poor girl, we kinda left her behind once we set off for Panera.
Esther, Charlie and I walked back to the dorms, and then back to and around the parking lot whilst talking to avoid getting bit by mosquitos for an hour or so (I don't know how long we were walking and talking, but it was nice.) Then Esther and I went to her room and talked about some stuff before going to bed around one.

On Sunday, I went to church with Charlie and two new students I didn't know, Molly and Adam. Charlie gave a good message on limited atonement, while the Sunday School message was about adoption which made me think a lot about my 'uncle' Clyde who was adopted when we were younger. It made me think a lot about other things as well, which was kind of nice. After chuch, we had lunch at the Merritt's and I actually tried some broccoli. It was alright, which Charlie later translated to Esther as meaning "freaking awesome!" I don't know that I'd go that far, but I'm no longer completely opposed to eating broccoli. (I don't think I was ever completely against the vegetable, but I dislike it a little less.) We left the Merritt's around 3, and drove back to Trinity were we dropped off Adam and picked up Esther, and went to Books a Million. Around 5, we walked over to my sister's new apartment and I said goodbye to everyone before they trekked back over to Books a Million. I went and saw my sister's apartment, which wasn't much, but I was really disappointed when I got to the bedroom. I was under the impression that they would have seperate beds but they don't. It wasn't a huge shock or anything to see only a single double-mattress, but still. They'd said they were going to have seperate beds and they don't...I was kind of expecting that to fall through, just not quite so quickly. My mom and I left shortly after that, and got home around 7. I fell asleep pretty much as soon as we got home, and am still bummed I won't get to see and hang out with my Trinity peeps as often as before I transferred. :( My mom says we'll probably be making monthly trips over to the area though, since my sister got an apartment over there, so I will see everyone again. (And some of the people I wasn't able to see..like Crash and Mike.)

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Just when everything seems set in stone for my arrival at IADT in October..they throw another curveball. All summer I've been dealing with various frustrations from the financial aid office--the main issue being their failure of disclosing the proper deadlines for forms to be returned. And I think I'm at my wits end here. I have to take out a private loan to pay for the tuition () and have someone cosign the loan. Who the hell is going to cosign it? (I've asked my Aunt, but I have very little hope for that actually happening.)

This is extremely depressing, and very upsetting. I've wanted to be a fashion designer since I was...what? Seven? Yeah. I've wanted to attend a fashion design school since high school. I've had my heart set on it for, like, ever. Just ask anyone who really knows me. (Granted, they are few and far between, but that's a different issue.) I just don't understand how it could be this close to my reality yet not actually happen. It isn't fair, and I know life isn't fair. But I've already had a hell of a summer (and I don't mean that in a good way)...I'd really like something not so hellish to happen for me. Is that so wrong?

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I'm excited! I just booked my first audition for a student film at Full Sail in here Orlando. Yay! I could not be more excited, and apparently there isn't a whole lot of competition. Apparently the part I'm reading for isn't getting a lot of attention by fellow actors in the area except for a bunch of women in their 30's who are too old to play the part in the first place (I assume, based on the directors comments.) He said only me and one other girl were in the age range he was looking for for the part, so I have only one other competitor that I know of for this role. Gah, I'm so excited! My audition's on Sept 20, and if I'm cast rehearsals will be in October although I don't think filming starts until January. And they're all on the weekends, which means I'll still be able to go to school in Tampa whilst filming in Winter Park/Orlando. Yay!! Please pray that everything works out in my favor for this, so that I can continue getting an education and earn a little bit of money. (It's a low-budget film, but there is still a little bit of pay for the actors involved. Definite plus!)

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So...my sister and her boyfriend were planning on moving to New York next week. Well, I guess Jason (Kaiti's boyfriend) got a call last night about a job offer in New Port Richey, so they're going to possibly move there instead. It'd be a lot cheaper, and a lot more convenient for not just the two of them, but for the rest of our family as well. My mom kind-of joked this morning about us sharing an apartment, but my sister said no to that pretty quickly. It hurt my feelings quite a bit--I know we're not friends or anything more than two people who grew up in the same house together, but still. I need a place to live over in that direction, she now needs a place over in that direction...it'd be cheaper for us to be paying for one apartment together than two apartments separately. And I'd be close to IADT for classes, and Trinity to visit my friends. I'm going to try talking to my mom about it later, and maybe she can talk to my sister. I know my school is in Tampa, but it's not far from New Port Richey, either. I could deal. It's only about a half hour drive...and the traffic isn't half as bad as it is here in Poinciana.

[ By the way, I don't agree with my sister living with her boyfriend, but for the most part, I've given up trying to be friend with or interfere in my sister's life (even if there's good reason behind doing so).]

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