You feel betrayed over something that happened over a year ago? You feel betrayed because of stupid little words? Words that had no effect over anything until you chose to unleash your wrath upon me with them? Hey, if I knew that saying such a thing would pretty much destroy my life, I wouldn't have said them, believe me. I tried apologizing, but no, that's not good enough. You knew I wouldn't be able to say it to your face? Huh? Oh okay, completely ignore the fact that I wrote a full page, not even spaced!, explaining to you why I had to do it, apologizing my heart out for it. Just focus on the fact that I can't even say it. Because if I do say it, God forbid I break out in tears and can't even finish a sentence because my life has just been so fucked up because of it. Four little words! You're overreacting!

Well, I know you've forgiven me for it. But think about what it's done to me, please. I mean, once the spotlight comes off of you for just one second. I feel like nobody even trusts me anymore because of the barrages of "OH, WELL, I THOUGH I COULD TRUST EVERYONE"s that you threw all over the place. Every time a survey asks what a friend should be, the first thing you write is "trustworthy". And I know, I'm 100% that it's all because of me. Because of something that really had absolutely NO effect on your life, whatsoever. Thinking about it now, I think you just blew it way out of proportion because I've been a really bad friend from the beginning. That you just wanted to break it off then so that we wouldn't have to be friends anymore when we'd split up for high school. Because really, I told him that. Fine, I know it was wrong. He left the school a few months later. And ten months later, you get mad at me for it! Well, it was torture enough having to keep my secret a secret from everyone. And you flaunt it around to everyone, including him!, and you expect me to realize that it's still a secret. It's not like you're making it obvious enough already! (That last part made no sense.) He told no one before he left, and nobody he talks to now probably cares about the little crush that a girl at his old school had.

Oh, back to why I'm writing this. Okay, this happened a long time ago, probably a year ago, and I know you've forgiven me and everything, but I still feel so outside of your group. Is it that you don't want me to hang out with you anymore because you've got so many better friends? Are you just leaving me behind because of a little molehill that you made into a mountain? Please, totally disregard the first twelve, thirteen years of our lives, when we were best friends. Hell, I didn't know that a guy would break us apart. It wasn't even directly his fault either! It was the fact that you liked him and I told somebody. I did one thing and that completely destroys your trust in me. I know you have so many better friends, friends that you'd rather take places instead of me. I know that you have that kind of influence over them that they'd rather hang out with you instead of me too. So I get left behind not once, not twice, but three times by them. And you probably only asked them once to go to the carnival and they said sure! And you all went along, took pictures, had the time of your fucking lives, and posted them on the internet for all, including people that you didn't even fucking mention it to! to see.

I'm overreacting, I know. You did it too, though, admit it. I know you've forgiven me, and honestly, I wasn't really mad at you. (Well, except for that whole, "I had the guts to apologize and you don't even acknowledge it?!" thing. That pissed me off.) I'm more mad at myself. I'm even more pissed at myself now for being such a damn loner. I haven't gone out with friends or anything since I went to Six Flags last June, and that was just with two people. I invite almost all of the friends that I had, which isn't really a lot even, maybe around ten, and only two of them could show up. One of whom I didn't even invite at first 'cause we're not that close. Two other people canceled at the last minute. Oh, it's not like we're buying the tickets in advance guys. Just cancel after we've bought them so that we can have (paid for) leftovers! Yay! The last time I had seen more people than that was almost a month ago already. I've been planning to go to the mall with people, but they keep canceling the day of and I'm just not bothering anymore because I'm almost certain that they're doing it on purpose because they hate me. Hey, when they first invited me, I was sure that they were only doing it because they felt sorry for me anyway. Sorry because nobody wants to hang out with me anymore because of all the shit she's probably told them about me behind my back.

Hah! I'd try to make friends at school, but that's complicated. I know a bunch of people at school, I'm friendly with them, but they have their own friends. I'm just another acquaintance they have. The problem is, I don't have any friends to turn around to after seeing 'acquaintances' at school. And everyone lives so far away that I can't go to their houses or anything for fun. The mall is a long way to drive to hang out with people that probably have other friends they'd rather hang out with. The friends that live close by and ride the bus with me have their own lives, their own friends that they'd rather hang out with as well. So where does that leave me? I want to think that my old friends are the one that I'd turn to, but they don't want me around either.

So, as a result, I'm stuck at home all day. It drives me crazy.
I tell people that I see texting a billion people at a time on their sidekick or enV, "Man, I'd trade anything to have a life like yours," and they say, "No, you don't want my life, trust me!" but really, I do. Having a bunch of people, dealing with drama and all that, I want that. It's better than moping around by myself all day because I feel like nobody likes me. That's the worst feeling in the world, really. Well, really, failure is. But that's a failure in itself. (That didn't make sense either, what?)
I think about it even further, and instead of trying to talk to my friends and all that, I mope about it on the internet to people who could care less. I'd talk to them, but whenever I do, it feels so forced and I get the feeling that they don't want to talk to me and that just ruins everything. So I avoid talking in general.
I don't know, everything I do seems to screw up everything else. Really, if it weren't for my grades and the prospect of a better future (? hah!), it would feel like I have nothing to live for.

I'm probably just being emmooootionaaaallll/nitpicky/whatever. I find flaws in myself, flaws in other people, whatever. I think way too much, trying to find reasons for everything, ranging from what other people do and think and feel to blaming myself for everything, and this is what it does to me.

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Did I ever tell anyone how, after I surf a few pages on Nutang, the pages just stop loading? Yeah, that's been happening for a while. It's kinda been discouraging me from commenting people and being on Nutang now. Sorry?

There was a play today that I really wanted to watch at PC that had two of my friends (who were probably the only two freshmen in the play anyway) in it, but I couldn't go because no one would go with me. I don't want to show up at the play myself, do I? Plus, my mom had to pick up my dad from his job in Newark around the same time, and that's just way too far for her to drive.
Oh yeah, and on the way to Newark, we were driving through Belleville instead of going on a highway or something, and I realized that that half of my town is really... ghetto. Like, robbery and spraypaint ghetto. I see why my parents don't want me to go to the public school here. I feel really snobby for saying that, though.

I actually have to write an essay for history right now. "Conflicts between Sunni and Shiites - Interpret conflict between what they believe - interpretation of Korean in different ways." My history teacher is crazy. Our midterm was fifty multiple choice questions, then five short answers (which have to be one huge paragraph each - "They're 'short' answers but they are NOT short, ladies and gentlemen.") and one, full five paragraph essay, all to be done in an hour and a half. I didn't finish the essay and I started freaking out, but I ended up getting a pretty damn good 96, so it's all good. Oh hey, I got off topic.

Oh man, I want something else to write here so I don't have to write about history stuff. History stuff is boring.

Every day, upon arriving home, I play Rock Band. I've been beast at guitar since the summer, since I would play it almost every day for lack of anything better to do. I can't sing in the first place, but I try. I love playing the drums though, the song "Maps" is really fun to do and I play it pretty much every time I get to play the drums, period. I tried singing and playing the guitar yesterday too! It's really fun. Hard, but fun. Probably like how singing and playing the guitar is in reality! I can do that with the song "Wonderwall" but the chords I use are different from the real ones anyway, and I can't get the bridge down right. Whatever! I should learn the drums in real life too.
On that same note, I think I'll try entering the music program at my school next year. I didn't do it this year for several reasons. One, they asked for people interested to come at the beginning of the year when I was feeling really down about myself and I didn't have any friends. Two, I'm only 'okay' at the piano and I never practice, though I have been playing for around four years and I have some skillz. I play some songs really well, but if I don't like the song, I don't practice it. Third, the music director already plays the piano, and I can't play any other instrument. I saw a girl play the piano at one of the school masses a while ago, but she was really good and didn't mess up. It's impossible for me to play the piano without messing up at least once. And in front of the freshman and sophomore classes, combined, about eight hundred kids? I don't think I could take that. Nobody would care, since nobody pays attention to mass anyway, tsk tsk, but it would eat away at me, seriously.

I'm really nervous about playing softball for PC. I've only been to one out of three workouts, and I nearly fainted at the one I went to because I didn't have water and I hadn't done anything physical before then (besides jogging on the treadmill once every, what, two weeks? and some lifting). I've been starting to exercise more often, though, because not being able to keep up while everyone else is jogging is embarassing as hell. I really want to make the team though - I love playing softball and playing a sport will make me feel less like a loser!

My friends and I have started a youth group at their church! I don't go to their church or anything, but I used to, and I feel like I'm giving back to my old church by participating and planning all this cool stuff for the youth of the parish. That's the thing, though, I feel bad because I don't really contribute to the planning process because I'm really quiet and I don't have a lot of ideas. I do, however, like helping out, and I'll take whatever I can get, right? That doesn't make sense.
Youth group's helped me keep in touch with a bunch of my friends, though, and make a bunch of new ones as well. For one, my friends and I rarely see each other anymore since we don't go to the same schools anymore, so I get to see at least one of them at youth group every Sunday. (It's kind of made me dislike some of my friends though - out of all of the friends that I asked, only two of them went - the only two that actually go to that parish - and one of them has pretty much stopped going. Well, whatever.) I'm the only one there that goes to my school so I've met a lot of people that go to public schools, the Mount, one kid even goes to Regis in New York. I've been keeping up with my other friends through myspace and facebook and all that jazz, but it's really better to keep up with people face-to-face, right?

I write really long entries for Nutang. I don't know why. I should start on that essay now.

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I have $15 already! wow, i hadn't even realized.

um... well, i was going to write an entry today about how much my life sucks and how i should have never written that last entry about how life is so amazing and such. but then today, i guess, something changed. it's weird, like, i must expect so much out of my friends once i write more than a few paragraphs about how much i love them, and when i meet them again, it just doesn't meet my expectations. so then i become depressed, i get into an 'everybody-hates-me' mode and such. but then today, i felt happy again. people were talking to me, and hey, i actually made eye contact with some people i never talk to (though that probably makes no sense to others and it probably won't to me when i read this again, it makes sense to me right now), so i guess life is good.

i shouldn't jinx it, though.

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it's already the end of 2007. It's so weird, I like the number 7. I don't think I'll ever get used to curling around the 8 in 2008 when I write dates on stuff.

First off, I'm loving the guitar I got for Christmas. I still love playing the piano, but learning a new instrument is fun and exciting, albeit a bit frustrating as well. I didn't anticipate it hurting my fingers. But anything to achieve my goal of being super awesome and multi-instrumental, right?!

Let me think back. Last February/March, my friends all hated me. They won't admit it, but they all did. I was stressing over high school and the end of eighth grade as well as finishing The Book Thief before everyone else. Now, life is way more amazing. My friends don't hate me as much as they did before, I actually think that they're all over that stuff now. I've joined this super awesome youth group and I've met a bunch of new people there, and I think as it grows, I'll get to know them better.

But most of all, I've started high school. It's so weird, as far as I know, there's really no drama within the freshman class, which is kind of strange considering there's four hundred of us: there's bound to be some kind of huge drama that everyone knows about. But I was talking to my cousin, who say gossip flies and spreads like wildfire down where she goes to school. That's when I realized that PC is actually a pretty good school when it comes to the people and stuff.

I've met all these new people at school as well, and even though I didn't even want to go to PC in the first place, I've kind of settled into it and couldn't imagine life any other way. It's like when I started at STA - I sat in social studies and imagined what it would be like if I was still in SHS, and the weird part was, I couldn't even imagine it, no matter how much I hated STA and loved SHS. And I ended up loving STA as well, I made so many great friends there that I'm still keeping in touch with, which is really cool. I try to imagine myself at the Mount as well, and seeing who Caitlin hangs out with and the reputation they have, I don't think I would've fit in there at all, no matter how much I thought I could "grow" and "excel" there. Looking back at it, I'd still probably wanna give it a try, but really, the people matter just as much as the academics in high school. If you're the smartest person in your class but you have no friends, then is your high school experience all that great?

Also, I've realized that the majority of people don't have the extra stress of choosing a high school. Those sorts of major decisions don't happen until the end of high school for public school kids, I bet. Lucky bastards.

Anyway, I've made all these awesome friends at PC. Last (school) year, I would be so nervous to sit at my lunch table because I knew that everyone there really hated or felt sorry for me. I would have nobody to talk to at recess, and even if someone did, they just did it because they saw me all alone and I honestly don't really like that kind of company: pity. Now, I have a group of people that I actually look forward to hanging out with, stealing food from, just generally talking to.

Well, it hasn't always been good. At the beginning of the year, I would be so unhappy and clingy to Will because he was really the only person I knew and would hang out with, but he was busy making new friends as well. I would sit with him on the bus with all those friends he'd made, but I never really talked to them, and after a while they stopped noticing me and started inviting other people to sit in my seat, so I was stuck sitting by myself in random places, listening to my iPod and reflecting on "what a horrible life I had." I was stressing over how hard my sophomore classes were and had to get over how I wasn't the "smartest one" anymore. It's weird how so much had changed since then, over the span of a few months my life's become the best that it's been in a long while.

I'm still keeping in touch with my old friends. In fact, I just went out with some of them yesterday and gave them their Christmas presents, albeit a bit late. But at the same time, I have a bunch of awesome people that I feel comfortable around at school, and that makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside, to tell you the truth.

What else? My sophomore classes aren't as hard anymore: I had a 100 average in geometry, where the teacher regularly tells us to "try harder" and how "eighth period seems to 'dumb down' the brain sometimes." (Though I did get a B on my last test - Overconfidence doesn't pay off, ever.) Spanish is still a bit tough though, I've gotta admit. But honestly, when will I ever have to know how to say 'canteen' in Spanish? Hell, I never say canteen in English. Whatever gets me ahead of the crowd, I guess.

There are only two things that I'd like to change about my life right now. For one, I'd have a boyfriend, but that's kind of weird to talk about. And I could actually go on without one, it's just the "what if's" that gnaw through my brain that compel me to think about them. Well, I guess it'd be easier to talk about it to strangers (I'd say complete strangers, but NuTang is a community, isn't it? =D) Secondly, I have to lose weight. I'll start with that! Okay, I'm assuming, actually, I'm hoping, that anyone who reads this has never met or seen me in real life. I'm a couple of pounds overweight, around forty, and my parents, or really, my mom, seem to love reminding me about it. This is a bit off-topic, but there's this sophomore at my school and, being the stalker that I am, I read some journal entires she posted on facebook and apparently, she has lost the same amount of weight that I need to lose, and she did it over the summer by walking and jogging regularly and dieting. The first thing I thought about that was that it was the perfect example that I needed to follow, and I'd seen her in school, she looks great (in a totally, non-homo way - is that a Jersey thing to say? 'No homo'?). Anyway, I've started to walk normally for about twenty to thirty minutes on the treadmill and I'll start to cut down on my food from now on. (I can't really do it now, since it's the holidays and all, and that's not being fair to anyone, now is it?)

So I guess I should mention something about getting a boyfriend now, since nobody I know reads this anyway! This'll all be a bit pointless since I've just mentioned that my self image is a bit low at the moment, but whatever, I like to preserve all of my thoughts so that I can look back on them later and be embarrassed at how stupid I was back them. Because, after all, I am pretty stupid, but I just don't realize it.

Now it'll get all OMGSOTHERE'STHISGUY, teenage "puppy" love-y dove-y, from here on. Hey, I'm fourteen. Anyway, there's this guy (omg!) in my history and gym classes that I kinda like. The thing is, I just never talk to him. We sit next to each other in history, but it's kind of hard to talk in that class. (If you sit in on one of our history teacher's classes, you'll understand.) In gym, he has a bunch of other friends that are my friends too, but it's a bit awkward in my opinion. Plus, there's the girl that sits behind him in history, and she's really cool and we're friends, but for a while I just thought that he liked her more than he would ever like me. And like I mentioned before, we have all these mutual friends, but the thing is, the majority of these friends are girls as well, so it'd be a bit strange for me to try and say something to him when he's out saying "Hi!" to every other girl in the class.
Now... hm... I liked this other guy in my geometry class, obviously he's a sophomore. The thing with him, though, is that he loves staying in shape and he's a beast at soccer and swimming, apparently. On paper, he sounds like he'd be this huge cool-ass jock guy, but he actually gives off the vibe of a huge weirdo. He stutters and gets all red in the face when he's asking the teacher a question. Maybe that's why I liked him! He had so much trouble figuring out that stuff when I, a lowly freshman, understood it easier than algebra! I think I'm just weird. In addition, he has a brother (and a sister, as the brother and sister are twins, which is way awesome in my opinion - though his sister is quite white, if you see her, you'll understand) that's my age that I guess I thought was cool as well, if only because I used to have a "crush" on his brother. He also loves soccer and swimming too, but the thing is, he's way cooler. He plays the guitar, he was even starting a band with a bunch of people, he has all these friends from soccer, just, everything. I don't know how I started that though... it's probably because of the brotherly connection. They're nothing alike though, besides the sports and parents and such.
I also used to like this other sophomore that sits in front of me in my Spanish class. I think that was purely based on looks, though. And when I found out that he also has a sister that's my age, that's actually in my homeroom, I just called that crush quits. His sister is annoying as hell, the kind of girl that says LOL to everything and thinks that making every other though perverted is "the shit." Honestly, being perverted for fun is fine, but laughing at every single minuscule thing that could be considered an innuendo is not cool. And she has this boyfriend, a junior that lives in North Carolina, no less, that I have no idea how she met, and I hope that they never do. See, she's much chubbier than I am, and if they really met online, as I think they did, then her "boyfriend" will be sorely disappointed when he sees this short, chubby girl that wants to hug him. Like any stereotypical "fat girl" on myspace, pretty much all of her pictures are of her face. I'M SORRY, I JUST HAD TO MENTION HOW WRONG THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS. I'm done with that!

And I think I should be done with this entry as well, as it is getting quite long.

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I just realized for the first time in a while that PC can refer to the computer!
But nah, I'm talking about my school, Paramus Catholic.

Yesterday, my brother came to visit as Will's buddy/freshman for the day. During third period, there's a fire drill! Being freshmen and all, we weren't really sure if it was the fire bell or not so we hesitated for a second (why, the other day, we could hear what I think was Bob Marley blasting from the room near our science lab) but then Mr. Mulligan started ushering us out.
Now, this wouldn't be something we would worry about, except that our science lab is in the senior hallway (for some strange, unfair reason; all the other freshman labs are by each other) and therefore, we would have to line up by seniors who know what they are doing. We did not.
Mr. Mulligan lead us over to the edge of the parking lot, where the park began, and started taking attendance and such. He also added, "Guys, if we have to go any further, you know what you have to do, right? Go line up over on the field, freshman are by the bleachers, and go to your homerooms." So naturally we all started freaking out, "EVACUATION DRILL!" And it did end up to be an evacuation drill!

I'm pretty sure most of you have no idea what my school's campus looks like, so I'll just give a brief description.
The parking lot where we are is right here. Most freshman classes are gathering by the softball fields, which are about 400, 500 feet away. And the football field is pretty much the same distance away from the softball fields. Naturally, I was one of the last ones to arrive at my homeroom (my teacher's face was worried as hell).

I'm also pretty sure that none of you have ever stood on the football field/track at my school, so we'll just say that it has a sizable population of bees. That's fine and dandy (and distracting) at school-wide Masses and such, but when everyone's all antsy from having an evacuation, especially when nobody is sure if it's real or not, people start jumping around and screaming at the bees, even after countless attempts to make them shut up. (Though I must admit, I was yelling too, but that was only because I don't have classes with most of the homeroom and I want them to think I'm cool. Because I am, of course.)

Now, this being the football field of the biggest private high school in New Jersey, there's a loudspeaker system in place. Once in a while, the loudspeaker would be messed up and make a loud "BZZT" sound, giving at least one person in the crowd a heart attack each time. When it wasn't malfunctioning, the principal would be yelling, "EVERYBODY BE QUIET!" It worked, surprisingly enough. He would also yell out directions, though pretty much everybody could hear the directions beforehand. Giving that everyone was quiet, one could hear the president in the middle of the football field in his golf cart, barking directions to the principal up in the control room via walkie talkie.

A LOUD AIRPLANE JUST PASSED BY! I'm sorry for that, it just seemed strange.

So he went through the spiel of what to do during an evacuation, and then he ordered freshman homeroom 201 to get into the bus on the other side of the field, then later ordered sophomore homeroom 104 (don't ask me how I remember the numbers, but if you do happen to ask I'll say!) to get into the bus as well. And then the entire school watched as the bus drove away! No buses were coming up to pick up the rest of the school, and soon the principal ordered everybody else to get back into the school! Needless to say, that was a huge "WTF" moment right there.

The rest of the day was all right.

Fast forward to today! Don't fast forward too much, though. This starts in the morning! (I shouldn't have used that phrase in the first place.) Keep in mind, there's testing today! According to most people, it started (I'm not sure how to conjugate this verb right here.) at 8:15. I get on the bus at 6:30 and we usually get to school around 7:30, enough time to get to lockers and stuff before the warning bell rings at 7:45, then the late bell at 7:50!

I got up as normal, ate breakfast as normal, went to my bus stop as normal, and everything was fine and dandy until we were on the way to Passaic.
(If you're bored or something, look up these towns and note the distances between them; they're all in New Jersey. Paramus, where my high school is, Belleville, where I live, Bloomfield and Nutley, where my bus passes through, Cedar Grove, where we drop off a random kid because they don't provide a bus there so they tacked him onto our bus, and Passaic. Wikipedia has some good pictures, but they're also kinda small.)
Anyway, we got stuck in some serious traffic on the way. Bad traffic, like, total standstill traffic. We were on this major roadway (I'm not sure what route/parkway it was, my parents keep asking and I have no idea.) for maybe a half hour? Keep in mind, we still had to pick three or so kids up in Passaic. My friend Ericka called one of them and he said that he didn't have a ride anymore, so he had to stay at the stop.
They were redirecting traffic to a nearby exit, so all hope wasn't lost. We were keeping time the entire ride, though, apparently we were there for almost a half hour. That's a huge thing if you're running on a tight schedule, especially driving kids to school! We picked up the first kid and he looked mad but relieved at the same time; everyone was yelling at him, "HOW LONG WERE YOU WAITING?" and he yelled back "40 FUCKING MINUTES!" The other two Passaic kids weren't there, so we sped through that place and made the mad dash to Paramus before rush hour.

Besides the fact that we were stuck in traffic as the late bell rang, we weren't that late. The bus dropped us off at the front instead of the back, and we were greeted inside by pretty much half of the administration ushering us in, the principal in particular commanding, "Go straight to your homerooms!" in his Brooklyn accent. On the way up, we heard him over the loudspeakers, "Teachers, the Bloomfield bus has just arrived, if you could please let them in and not mark them late. Let them start the test immediately!"
And we did start the test immediately! I was still panting from running upstairs by the time I opened my test booklet. The other girl in my homeroom that takes the same bus must've taken her time though, and now I kinda think that I should've too. Oh well.

So we got out at 11:30 and a bunch of people were complaining, "I WAS ON THIS BUS LONGER THAN I WAS IN THE SCHOOL!" And our bus driver was agreeing! Our bus driver kicks ass though, he was badmouthing the administration the entire way back, saying "I'm not sure if I'm even supposed to be taking you guys home! I'm waiting for the call!" He was grinning at everyone as we left the bus in the morning too. Oh yeah, while we were stuck in traffic, somebody must've cut him off or not let him pass, because he opened the door and yelled out, "WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CUT ME OFF, MOTHERFUCKER? I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!" and everyone on the bus started applauding him. We were all saying, "Wow, can't they see that we're a HIGH SCHOOL in PARAMUS in the middle of PASSAIC from the side of the bus? (Which, by the way, says Paramus Catholic High School on it, and our route is the only one that uses the special, personalized fleet because we're awesome!; everyone else uses Laidlaw or First Student buses or something) And it's already, what, 7:45 in the morning? Don't they realize we have to get to school and stuff?! Screw them!"

This entry turned out long as hell, haha.


Oh and edit/p.s., my friend was on the bus that left the school.
"Dan, what homeroom are you in?"
"201."
"Were you on the bus?" (smiling)
"Yeeeeaaaaah." (smiling)
(about to crack up) "What the hell happened?"
"Nothing! We just drove around the school and came back!"

And here's a map of the school area that I drew so I wouldn't have to work on my world history essay! They have real pictures of PC on the website but they're not really of the school's layout, so here's the best I could do without photoshop!
boooo

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I haven't blogged about this yet, right?
[checks]
Yeah I haven't.

So I just started high school! My orientation day was three weeks ago as of tomorrow, but it seems so much longer.
I've met a bunch of new people but I haven't really made any "friends" yet. But to be fair, I don't consider people friends until I'm comfortable enough to give them a nickname. That's my standard. And usually, three weeks is too short for that kinda trust to be happening.

To fill up space, I'll tell you guys about my classes!
My English class isn't horrible, it's just a normal class. The teacher has amazing eyes though, it's distracting. I can't look him in the eyes, it's just weird.
My biology teacher this year was my old homeroom/science teacher last year, which is fantastic! Everyone else seems so intimidated by him, but my other old classmates and I take it in stride because we're already used to him. It sucks for my old school though, since he transfered, now they have the old synergistics teacher that I can't imagine actually teaching something.
Physical education (I really needed to type that out, I'm sorry) is actually pretty cool! For the last two periods, I've taken the nature walk around the park that surrounds the school campus (or is it still school property? I'm not even sure; the way my teacher explained it was strange). I'd use the weight room, but that is almost always filled with guys and I'd feel uncomfortable. Besides, I've actually grown to like walking in the forest over the past two periods.
My Christian growth teacher is... strange. Almost bipolar in a way. She can be really happy one minute, and if someone asks her a sarcastic question or makes her angry, she can go off on them in a snap, and then go back to her perky ways. She's a good teacher, but she tends to ramble on also.
Lunch just sucks because I have nobody to sit with most days. I'm finding some people to sit with now, though, so that should be good. I really need to meet people (see above).
Spanish II Honors is way too hard for me. Well, "way too hard" is an exaggeration, but it goes way further than whatever we covered last year. I don't think I want to switch though, for the sole reason that I kinda feel up to the challenge.
(School hasn't really been "tough" for me since seventh grade, and that was only because of the homework load. I knew all the material then, and I'm blindly flipping through my Spanish-English dictionary this year.)
Oh, and I don't want to learn the numbers and colors for the millionth time. Transferring out of honors would screw me over too, because my scholarship requires an all-honors curriculum. So either way, I guess I'm stuck with it. Oh, and the teacher's pretty cool but she can move through things pretty quickly (though that's probably the whole 'honors' thing kicking in).
(I wrote a lot just about Spanish class.)
World History is really cool, but at the same time it bores me to death. See, the teacher is amazing; he's in-your-face, focuses on class participation, and has the kind of booming voice that you could distinguish out of a crowd (does that make sense?) but the subjects that he covers are so dull that I nearly nod off taking notes. I don't know if I love or hate this class.
And geometry is awesome. The class is pretty much all sophomores (except for me and two other people; which is kinda like Spanish class, but I should've mentioned that earlier) and I feel so awesome because I understand it better than some of them. This one guy got all red-faced and stuttered when he couldn't understand an algebra problem that I got in, like, two seconds. And the teacher is pretty cool and funny too, even though he kinda plays favorites, but that's all right because he makes fun of them and puts everyone's attention on them, and I'm not into that kinda stuff.

[looks back]
Wow, I progressively got more detailed! I should add something to English. Yeah I've got nothing. That class is just whatever.

Oh yeah, so this is my first year taking the bus! We've already been late once, because we ran over a tree branch and it cracked a window, and I've been so close to being late! but my homeroom teacher didn't count it because I walked in a little after the bell. I also got lost going from biology to Christian growth, but I'm pretty sure everyone's gotten lost at least once, right?

Thinking about it now, my school isn't as big as I thought it would be.

I think I'll find something else to write later because nutang rocks and I've abandoned it.

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