Drivers ed...sometimes it's fun sometimes I think I WILL DIE OF boredom, and tiredness, and general ickyness.
I almost pass out last night after I got home from class (I feel rather scholorly saying class, despite not being able to spell it.) and couldn't sleep or do anything but lay there and wish I had no pain. LIKE being dead without the dead bit. yah know?
AND 3 HOURS IS ALL I CAN TAKE! I just sleep and eat, and and I didn't even have time to shower. the circles under my eyes and throw on clothes probably made me look like an addict
but Getting up and eating was all I could manage so...
that means:
NO MAKEUP
NO BATH/SHOWER
POSSIBLY DEATHLY PALLOR
MY CONCENTRATION LEVELS WERE WAY DOWN

I am sure I looked bad.
Hopefully I didn't smell too bad though. I didn't get any complaints! lol

Anyways there is funny story that I am desperate to tell you, (about drivers ed) but too tired to do it right now! SO LIVE IN SUSPENSE!
maybe I shall write about it tom.
Goodnight my fellow tangers!

Comment! (3) | Recommend! | Categories: sick [t], drivers ed [t]

So the entire month of May has been completely crazy.
Completely.
Lets see...
I hung out with some friends.
I...celebrated my sister's b-day...(she did yell at me, it was mean, see below...lol)
I went to prom, 2 days later I celebrated my 19th birthday.( I didn't get much but oddly I pretty happy...) That night I got sick and it got worse (EARS NOSE THROAT) and missed most of Balticon (a scifi convention) but I managed to go a few hours and lets see, Then this month I started driving school this june 1st and then on the 3rd I graduated high school. Which I never actually went to. Yes you might wonder how that could be so let me explain. About 7 or 8 years ago I got very sick to the point that everyday life became to difficult and have been on home and hospital teaching through the county ever since. So In total I only went to the high school for my HSA's, The after prom party, like one or maybe two meetings, and yes graduation where I walked across stage in front of bunches of people who did not know me. lol BUT I MADE IT! It was a year later than it should have been if I were healthy because they didn't give me credits till it was too late to graduate in 09 but that's ok. I got 6 tickets to give to people to attend my graduation and my family and my tutor of the past 7 years and my sisters bf came. And yes my teacher danced around singing "MELLIE GRADUATED! MELLIE GRADUATED! I Didn't WASTE 7 Years OF MY LIFE!!!" It was pretty funny! I do love her.
Throughout my graduation process I heard people say things like:
First student: Do all these kids go here?
Second Student (says jokingly): No they just come here to graduate!
OR
Teacher: DID I TEACH ALL THESE STUDENTS?

My secrets thoughts: That would be me! and no you really didn't...

HA! But I did it, somehow I don't quite believe it...

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: prom [t], graduation [t], birthdays [t]

Basic Crap. My LIFE!
Almost everyone has one bully in their life.
Mine...well, mine is my older sister. And it always has been.
It's called verbal abuse. I mean it's not like she tells me I'm worthless or anything. But the way she treats me is complete crap, a decent person wouldn't even treat their dog that way. She takes everything out on me. Yells at me. If I want to hug her I can't even do that. She yells at me for that. for anything, sometimes for talking to her. She is controlling, I can't even hold the dog THAT I TAKE CARE OF, without her trying to control me and telling me to leave the dog alone. Even if the dog is in ecstasy from my petting her. Sometimes she comes right out and says I just don't like the way your holding her. (even when I explain and she can clearly see the dog is fine!)It drives me up a WALL! In fact she is pretty mean to everyone.
But last night she blew up at me.
When whatever her problem is...was most specifically NOT my fault.
You see I called to explain that no one had gotten her anything for her birthday...(except me of course) and when would we celebrate...Monday right? (isn't that what we had all planned?)
And that my dear blog friends, is when she lost it and yelled at me.
ME.
The person who has reminded mom and dad for months now that her birthday is coming up, and what are they doing about it?
Till I was almost crazy.
They did nothing despite my warnings.
And of course it's me she screams at. The only person that tried. cared. did anything.
she might have wanted to make plans on Monday dad said Saturday...blah blah blah
she is always disappointed at her birthdays. so yes you see verbal abuse.
She does this a lot. It breaks my heart every freakin time.
If she had clue how much she hurt me...
She is always in a perpetual state of anger or meanness, it's like she has constant pms.
I mean i realize she is under stress and has all this crap and whatever... but gosh couldn't she find a more reasonable outlet than beating down the only people in this world who love her despite her constant abuse.
Like I don't know...
Cutting?
lol
not really. But honestly she should take some responsibility and find a take it out something not me. And she can't find a way to deal, then she should just take it out on herself because this is ridiculous.
Many times I almost don't forgive her, I know it will happen again. But she sobs. And while I could care less for the first few hours...

You know what,
I'm tired. I'm tired of talking about her and this and trying to make her understand and everything...It's not ever going to change...maybe one day it will be someone else instead of me...maybe her poor future husband.
And maybe you don't understand.
Heck I'm so tired and miserable...I don't understand.
I have faults and can be a crappy person, I just thought I was worth more than this.


Anyway lets move on to higher happier ground.

THERE's CAKE SOMEWHERE IN MY FUTURE.
if it was her birthday that means cake...which means...well cake...to be perfectly honest.

I finally managed to get myself together enough to give the dog a bath today! YAY!
She's all clean! HAPPY HAPPY!

I have a rather cool idea about what I want to make for dinner tomorrow. CHILI!

Bad News:
I realized I might have accidentally mixed up my morning and my night meds...
yeah. thats gonna be fun. not really...

Random News:
We (my mom and dad and I) have sorta begun plans for my graduation party!
WE are thinking June 12th.

Prom is coming and I am actually quite excited! I mean dinner, dancing, getting dressed up. I have a very cute and stylish little blue strapless! ( I said I want something long and with straps so of course silly me I fell in love with the opposite)

MY birthday is May 24th. No idea what's happening there...what should I ask for present-wise that is relatively cheap?

I am almost done this 800 some odd page epic fantasy book I am reading.

I got a book in the mail to review for the In Group.


yeah and that's...it for now! Thanks for listening peeps!

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories: birthdays [t], abuse [t], life [t]

So I sure as heck hope this blog doesn't turn into one of those blogs where people are like:
Today I slept ...and that's it...lol because I was absolutely exhausted.
That would suck...
Who would want to read that!!??!?
But I have just been so exhausted lately that was pretty much what I did.


I mean I did do a few other things:

I made macaroni salad...(after I woke up it was almost gone which was kinda funny because I had a dream that I woke up and all the macaroni salad was gone. Do I know my family or what? lol)

I fed the dog,(grandfather's dog which I am dog-sitting) and gave her pills, so her urinary tract infection will go away! (and took her out and stuff...) I wanted to give her a bath and brush her teeth but I was too lazy and tired...maybe tomorrow...

I took a bath! YAY! personal Hy-gene!

I did dishes! Whoohoo! (course I was extremely dizzy and it was a rather unpleasant experience as I was worried I might faint.. BUT YEAH I TOOK THAT MOUNTAIN! It didn't get the better of me! I rock! Oh yes!

I..tried to earn free money online and am now slightly closer to my goal..which will take a while but hey at least it actually WORKS! slow and steady wins the race!

and then I you know, ate...(when you are this tired even this is an accomplishment) eating is good...fun stuff! quite enjoyable...unless it's not.
You can quote me on that!

And I am writing this blog! Which is also an amazing accomplishment!

and and not much else happened...
So that's it. I shall end this blog here!
Toodle-pip! and tally ho...and goodbye and all that...

Comment! (5) | Recommend! | Categories: tired [t], life [t]

HA! HA! HAHA! TAKE THAT!
I did it! YES, indeed I managed to create an avatar. By cropping and resizing an image of a dragon off the cover of one of my favorite books! I love the artwork by the guy who (drew?) painted? Or created the image lets say! Just in case you happen to wonder who that is...I shall give credit right now by saying it's by my favorite Illustrator: Jerry Vanderstelt!
I feel ridiculously happy that worked out! It's the little things in life...it REAAAALLY is.
Happy dance!

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories: avatar [t], illustrators [t], the little things [t]

So! Wow... long day.
I absolutely exhausted...And I just got this lovely nutang bloggie thing here. Unfortunately I am so tired I am just going to make this a quick entry. Basically to say, yeah so far the blog is..rather...suckish! Mostly of the Micheal Jackson avatar (post-surgery face) Not that MJ isn't awesome but I preferred his face before the surgery and furthermore I AM a girl so, you know...having a guys face on the avatar is just plain misleading...NOT that any of you would think I am Micheal Jackson(lol). But still...anyways I'm off to bed but I am determined to make this thing cooler. Just not yet right now I am going to rest. Seriously.
Right.
Now.


But you KNOW it's going to get better I did try and upload a dragon avatar but...I am not sure it's there...so.
But that would also be temporary...
So either a dragon or MJ. Yeah.
That's right.
Look for it!

NOW BED!
Really this time!
I MEAN IT!
SEE!?!?

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories: tired [t], bed [t], blogging [t], avatar [t]