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Thanks :D

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Today is September 23rd, 2008. Today, I turned 20. And I'd like to thank the few that gave me birthday wishes. 2/4 I rarely talk to.... which makes me wonder about my "friends." The other 2/4, thank you very much, it meant a lot to me. There was only two people I was really expecting calls from, or a message or comment/wallpost, but I guess not. Times like this I should just disregard the situation, but... I remembered theirs. I took them out... I helped them out... I sound selfish right now, but I think I deserve at least a call. I've never liked my birthdays, used to, but after my ninth one, I hated my birthday. Year 15 and Year 18 were awesome, thank you to Betty and Jordan. 20 was not too bad, thank you to my family, Omar and Jordan. Omar tells me that I should not feel bad, because it's their loss if they don't want me as a friend anymore... but they're not the one getting stepped all over, are they?

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So there's about 2 days left until my mom is home, and I am not excited at all... It's going to take me a while to get used to having to report to someone where/when i'm going out. >(

Lately I've been feeling like a doormat... I know that that's probably my own fault, in a way letting myself be stomped all over like this. But at the same time, when I "let" myself be walked all over, I feel like I'm just doing the right thing, helping people. Is that bad?

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It has been a while since i have posted a blog... hmm... what to write about.

Well, as some people may know, I was working at Knott's this summer (2008), and I was pretty much always busy. As time went by at the amusement park, I began to realize that maybe my mom was right about having to find a better job. Not so much a "real" job as she puts it, but just something that's more fit to what i want to later be in life.

Don't get me wrong, working at Knott's was truly a great experience. I met some great people, and had a lot of fun times. But my point of working there (beside the money) was to gain a new experience... I am a fan of amusement parks, and now I know what it feels like to work at one. Stressing, but fun. I achieved what I wanted to achieve, which was for the experience. Unfortunately, I was half expecting myself to work through Haunt, but I don't think I will be able to.

Now that school is starting, I think I may need to get a more "serious" job. I took my job at Knott's seriously, but thinking back, there was one thing that always bothered me when I was working there: my age. I couldn't help but notice that I was one of the older ones in the area... then again where I worked, it was a fairly small group of people... but it still bugged me. I am about to turn 20, and I'm working on a roller coaster, getting absolutely no respect from idiot parents that can't even pull off a simple task of reading the height requirement sign? It's probably just me, but I find that a little demeaning.

I mean, no offense to those that ARE older than me (if not the same age), but I guess I'm looking for something more. But to be completely honest, if I were working at Disneyland instead of Knott's, I probably wouldn't be posting this entry. I've always had a thing since I started obsessing about going to Disneyland at least once a year, that I one day will work for Disney. Some find it a little creepy that pretty much everything I do, is related to getting myself a spot within the Disney Corp. I guess you can say that I am highly attracted to power. And what greater joy would it be for me than to work with one of the most powerful companies in the known universe? Can anyone honestly tell me what greater country would not recognize the three circles that make up Mickey's head?

To be specific, I am in no way interested in the retail of Disney merchandise. Where I am aiming would actually be in the travel/hospitality area. If I could, I would LOVE to work on a Disney cruise line (actually, I looked up a little more information on jobs aboard the cruise line, and you must be 21 and older). Either on a cruise ship, in the hotels, or even better, in the amusement parks.

Because I want to work with Disney so badly, that's actually why I started with Knott's in the first place. I wanted to use my experience with Knott's as a stepping stone towards working in Disneyland. I feel bad for using Knott's like that, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not the first. Also, now that I'm looking into a more �serious� job, I was thinking of going into travel agencies. Probably find a few in the area, and ask them what credentials I need to get a job at a travel agency, and work as a kind of ... �apprentice� travel agent. I'm not too sure of how it goes.

At first I wanted to become a wedding planner, but that goal was shot down when my aunt reminded me that there is a LOT more pressure in becoming a wedding planner over a travel agent, because weddings a (usually) a once-in-a-lifetime event, and it has to be perfect for the couple. I gave it some thought, and she's right... if something goes wrong in a wedding, it's going to be on me, and I don't think I'd be able to handle that kind of guilt, knowing that I ruined a couple's first moments together as a married couple.

Going back to the travel agency thing, if anyone has any information what-so-ever about credentials to be hired into a travel agency, please let me know. Anything would be great. Oh, and anyone with connections with anyone else working within the Disney Corp, hook me up <3.
In roughly one month, I'm going to be turning 20. This upcoming moment is beginning to scare the crap out of me. I'm not going to be a �teen� anymore. Technically I'll be in the �tween� category, but who the hell are we kidding? There is no �tween� category... it's just a kind-of excuse for people to still act younger than they are. Relive their high school/college years, etc etc.

I guess the fact that I'm turning 20 in a month is upsetting because since I was about 7 years old, I always had a plan for myself... do great in school and get into a 4-year college right out of high school (which I blew already), and by age 20 I'd be on my way to moving out of the house, and going out on my own. Love life wise, I predicted that by 20 I was suppose to have found the love of my life, the one that I'd spend the rest of my life with. But of course, all those predictions were made before I realized just how much crap life really throws at you. Thinking back on my predictions and expectations I had for myself, I know now that it was silly of me to have expected so much, and it makes me feel a little better... just a little.

I should feel a lot better, but I don't. I mean, I kept thinking myself to be steady and on my way to moving out by the age of 20 ever since I was little. Having such an expectation for so much of my life would tend to weigh down fairly hard when I don't achieve that expectation. I went all my life going, �Out by 20!� and now that I'm a month away from being 20, I'm saying to myself, �Oh crap I'm behind... where did all the time I thought I still had left go?� Then there's the fear that maybe I'm going to be left behind by the world I grew up with.

I know that I can actually move out if I took a break from school and worked full-time... too bad that means I'd have to extend the time it takes to get my BA degree. Though to be honest, I wouldn't mind. If working full-time and studying part-time would allow me to move out and get me out there on my own, I'd go for it. But unfortunately in the world of today, without a BA you'd be lucky to find a decent job at all. The whole taxes, home-owning, retirement thing... requires a salary, which I [believe] is hard to get without that piece of paper telling your employer that you're not some uneducated person. Any suggestions?

Plus my family would probably disown me if I didn't get my BA >_>

Like any other person out there, I want the ends of my life to be simple, easy, well off. I want to have a nice life, with nice things. But ... the road there is rough, and counting school into the equation... it makes me want to cry :(



TISILBIDTHLMB.AIINOTIADILW.IHHFHAS.AIHHWLMB.IBTHMBTOFM,TOIWTSTROMLW,BIWNKFSUHLMB.ILYJNMWH.
^ Just something I wanted to write down, but it is just for me to know. When I reread this tomorrow I'm not going to remember what it says, I can see it already.


Thanks to those that took the time to read it, and for anyone that may have any information on travel agents and their credentials, feel free to fill me in. And just as important, any hook ups with the Disney Corp would be greatly appreciated. :)

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A friend of mine's mom has a fish rescue business, and unfortunately she was ripped off by people that came to install the things she needed. On April 15th, they're going to stop her electricity, and everything she worked for will be lost...
Her story:
http://www.finnedfriends.com/viewnews.php?id=1

Please, help, and spread the word!

Thanks

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As many know, Thanksgiving was last week. During our family reunion, my cousin officially announced her wedding for this summer.

I'm happy for her, it's really nice to see that she's finally settling down :)

I grew up with these cousins, and to see one of them getting married, is kinda scary though... I guess it really put "grown-up" that much closer, and that much more real.

For those that know me, I LOVE weddings. I love seeing the happy couple, I love seeing families together, I love seeing everyone all dressed up, and everything about it is just amazing. I guess it's cause there's a very fairy tale vibe to it.

But as I said earlier, this wedding brings "grown-up" closer.

I'm starting to get a lil freaked out about my own future. Mostly bout my love life. I'm starting to get scared about who I'll be with, if I'll ever be with anyone. Will my marriage end the same way as my parents? Do I want kids? All that stuff is a bit scary to think about right now. I know i shouldn't be, cause it's so far away, but hey, a few years can go by in a finger snap.

I want to have a wedding, I want to get married. That I know. But it's all the stuff that comes after that day that I'm fearing. All the stuff married couples have to think of. I guess also it's that whole KIDS issue. I... am not a big fan of children. I like some kids, but not a lot of them. I don't want to go through the whole child rearing thing cause I'm a pansy. But, I AM willing to adopt. That's my plan for future children. Though, I am so curious as to how a kid would look with my genes in it...

I guess I'm just thinking too much into it. I like being free...
And to be officially tied down by papers, is scary...
Eh... I guess in due time I'll be ready.

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